laird387 Posted July 18, 2014 Report Share Posted July 18, 2014 (edited) Hi, A true incident: This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk.The French policeman stopped his car and asked the gentleman if he had been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admitted that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married in the morning to a French man, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception and a quite few glasses of single malt thereafter. Quite upset, the policeman proceeded to alcotest (breath test) him and asked the Englishman if he knew under French Law why he was going to be arrested? The Englishman answered with humour: No sir, I do not! But while we're asking questions, do you know that this is a British car, and my wife is driving... On the other bloody side??? Edited July 18, 2014 by laird387 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pa. Posted July 24, 2014 Report Share Posted July 24, 2014 Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.Fred's favorite rooster, Kenny, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed Kenny's bell hadn't rung at all!When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.To Fred's amazement, Kenny had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.Fred was so proud of Kenny, he entered him in the County Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.The result was the judges not only awarded Kenny the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.Clearly Kenny was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.Vote carefully in the next election, you can't always hear the bells. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveo Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Andrew the stockman from a huge cattle station in the Australianoutback appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates."Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the drover offered."On a trip to the back blocks of Broken Hill out in New South Wales ,I came across a gang of bikers who were threatening a young sheila.I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed bikie and smackedhim in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw iton the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the **** out of the lot of ya!"St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?""A couple of minutes ago." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atomant Posted August 21, 2014 Report Share Posted August 21, 2014 (edited) Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth. Police say the dangerous practice is called "e by gum" Edited August 21, 2014 by atomant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atomant Posted August 23, 2014 Report Share Posted August 23, 2014 Dear Trials Central Friends, I'm holding a charity concert for my trialscentral friends who cant reach orgasm, If you cant come, let me know 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b40rt Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P-jX9mJfbps 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnmartin247 Posted August 26, 2014 Report Share Posted August 26, 2014 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P-jX9mJfbps Would a Red power band work in a Montesa? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy Posted August 27, 2014 Report Share Posted August 27, 2014 Would a Red power band work in a Montesa? Depends on the year, you would have to consult with your local dealer to make sure you get the correct parts for your particular machine. It is possible that there are different sizes of power band that may fit earlier Montesa's. I believe those to be a pale red. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axulsuv Posted August 27, 2014 Report Share Posted August 27, 2014 And make sure you don't confuse your power band and your power valve ! Serious failure could result ! I'm looking for a supplier of Fantic power-bands , some N.O.S. ones would be sweet ! I've got plenty of gaskets to do the job . Glenn 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guys Posted August 27, 2014 Report Share Posted August 27, 2014 And make sure you don't confuse your power band and your power valve ! Serious failure could result ! I'm looking for a supplier of Fantic power-bands , some N.O.S. ones would be sweet ! I've got plenty of gaskets to do the job . Glenn Here they are, specially made in the flashy early nineties Kroo colors: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted August 29, 2014 Report Share Posted August 29, 2014 Here they are, specially made in the flashy early nineties Kroo colors: I thought those were for baw bags? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billyt Posted September 5, 2014 Report Share Posted September 5, 2014 Cope knows his rights! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted September 8, 2014 Report Share Posted September 8, 2014 Cope knows his rights! You would have appreciated the sight if me taxiing the plane around with no wings installed, no seats, sitting on a can, and a slosh bucket of fuel rigged up over the head! No one tried to stop me, with the 6 ft hatchet swinging around up front! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trialswarrior Posted September 8, 2014 Report Share Posted September 8, 2014 Spider dog https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoB8t0B4jx4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b40rt Posted September 10, 2014 Report Share Posted September 10, 2014 http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2014/09/10/21-amazing-analogies-used-by-english-students/ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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