1506 replies to this topic

[trialswarrior]

[indent]An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes , here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.[/indent]

[joekarter]

You know you really have moved to Arizona when your new neighbors let their 14 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

[copemech]

Where the hell am I?

I took this shot, not quite sure bout the spelling, however when I looked it up on urban dictionary it was there and even worse than I thunk!

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[copemech]

Ok, this one for Ham!

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[airwave]

Line from one of the drillers left near the galley:

Ok, lets declare a draw, you can't cook it, I can't eat it . . .

[HAM2]

copemech, on 23 May 2012 - 02:41 AM, said:

Where the hell am I?

I took this shot, not quite sure bout the spelling, however when I looked it up on urban dictionary it was there and even worse than I thunk!

When I saw this photo I immediately thought ''I wish Copey would f**k off posting these type of pics cos it reminds me that I'm not getting a holiday until 2013'' ....then I saw the next photo .

My honeymoon was in Sand Key,Clearwater (bit of a 'pensioner-town' compared to the rest of the state) just up from Madiera:WARNING: Don't rent a jet-bike from the Welsh(b45t4rd ) there (remember me telling you about the cyl'head gasket curse I have).Don't get me wrong,the Gulf of Mexico is a beautiful place just..not when your craft has quit,is smoking,is drifting into the shipping lane and it's getting dark People took the pee-pee for years after cos an episode of the comedy 'Only Fools and Horses' had a similar plot.

Edited by HAM2, 23 May 2012 - 09:41 AM.

[copemech]

HAM2, on 23 May 2012 - 09:35 AM, said:

When I saw this photo I immediately thought ''I wish Copey would f**k off posting these type of pics cos it reminds me that I'm not getting a holiday until 2013'' ....then I saw the next photo .

My honeymoon was in Sand Key,Clearwater (bit of a 'pensioner-town' compared to the rest of the state) just up from Madiera:WARNING: Don't rent a jet-bike from the Welsh(b45t4rd ) there (remember me telling you about the cyl'head gasket curse I have).Don't get me wrong,the Gulf of Mexico is a beautiful place just..not when your craft has quit,is smoking,is drifting into the shipping lane and it's getting dark People took the pee-pee for years after cos an episode of the comedy 'Only Fools and Horses' had a similar plot.

It is a nice area, though not quite the blue water of some more remote islands and such, but seems everything is within reach. Having done a bit if Scuba in Cozumel, Bahamas, Cayman and Maui, I would not rate it with them, but for a leisure time it is fine, and nice beaches, specially if you get off the beaten path of the tourists!

Found fresh seafood great in John's Pass about three times. The sprig, having been down there for a while, led us to the more secludid beach area dorn souph and away from the tourist beach. Follow the road to here, nice park at the end.

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