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Vaseline

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Knew the title would get you wondering...

VASELINE

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young

woman with three small children running around at her feet.

He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the

product?'

She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.'

'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'

'We use it for sex.'

The researcher was a little taken back.

'Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle

chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people

do

use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so

far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?'

We put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out.'

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Even tough Harley riders use vaseline !

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike.

He doesn't have much luck until, one day,he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.

He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "Whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.

Naturally, they take the bike there.

Just before they enter the house,

Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."

"No problem," he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked.

Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes

.

Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation and leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

Still, nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and has her right there, in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder and it starts to rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right,

that's enough, I'll do the f*;king dishes!"

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Nah....there are far better lubricant's out there.... :P

Hellufalot easier to clean your hands too!

I would rather go riding, don't get nearly as dirty! :huh:

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In some parts of the USA they call Vaseline boy butter!

Edited by Dabnabit

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