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Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, Reincarnation, Valhalla, Evolution Or?


mr clean
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"I'd rather live like there is a God and find out there isnt, than to live like there isnt a God and find out there is!"

I see it this way: Lucifer was symbolic of a rebelious teenager that didn't like the old fart (Gods) rules.

Now thinking of Heaven vs. Hell, I think I would give Hell serious consideration:

Lets face it, its warmer in Hell, the music is better, (they get all the good bands) and the hot women. In Hell, people know how to party! They are much less inhibited and like to have a good time! The food is hot and spicy too.

In Heaven, its cold and boring. Everybody is afraid to do something wrong, it's very restrictive, no one wants to p*** off the Almighty. I think God is this old guy having a mid-life crisis with a big ego problem in need of much therapy. Must be a creepy family, always watching us, and sending his son to die in an inhumane way.

Who do you get to hang out with in heaven? A bunch of priests who molested your children. The Taliban who are looking for a bunch of virgins (they get the frigid Nuns). Death row inmates who convert at the last minute. Televangelists. Used car salesmen. Torquemada, Vlad the Impaler, and the crusader armies. You also get those pushy annoying judgemental nosey neighbors that have been trying to convert your family including the dog and cat. Oh great, here come those Jehovahs Witnesses again....

In Heaven its cold, the music is boring and highly restricted. Harps? Can we wear some color other than white please? Nope? Where can I get a Beer in this place? Whats for lunch, I'm hungry.

The Budhists and Hindus are lucky, they get to reincarnate. Hey I come back as a cow, whats that sign? Huh? They are gong to turn me into a Big Mac Patty? I guess I should have been reincarnated in India, I make big mistake when I immigrate to America... Ow! Why did that cowboy just burn my ass with a red hot metal iron?

Valhalla could have been fun, like thanksgiving at my relatives every day. Fighting all day and throwing food at each other all night.

Those that are offended by the Darwins suggestion that we all have evolved from Apes, please take a close look at how the world is run and how people around us act. I agree that this is a very offensive theory, for the Apes!

Best to just believe that after you are dead, that's it, game over. There is no afterlife. Make the best while you are alive, here and now.

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