Dumb Instructions

[toofasttim]

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

[ianj]

That last two...............

[atomant]

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

These type of comments are becoming more and more mainstream because of the now widespread pathetic culture in the UK (copied from the USA) of suing for every god damn accident that happens that is your fault but you won't admit it. An old one was a woman on an airline who ordered a cup of coffee and dropped it on her lap whilst fumbling in her chair. She was scolded and SUCCESFULLY sued the airline for not having the text 'THIS PRODUCT MAY BE HOT" on the cup.

[scorpa3]

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

These type of comments are becoming more and more mainstream because of the now widespread pathetic culture in the UK (copied from the USA) of suing for every god damn accident that happens that is your fault but you won't admit it. An old one was a woman on an airline who ordered a cup of coffee and dropped it on her lap whilst fumbling in her chair. She was scolded and SUCCESFULLY sued the airline for not having the text 'THIS PRODUCT MAY BE HOT" on the cup.

Which is why the amount of paperwork in any business gets more and more every year. Companies have to prove that they have taken every precaution known to man and reatin it for audit purposes. I ask you... I have to review and update my risk assessments and safe systems of use forms every 12 months. Including the one for using the toaster in the rest area.

[atomant]

Tell me about it Pete When I design machines, It goes without saying that they have to be designed with safety in mind for the operator, but nowadays, I even have to specify in the manual under CE regs how a trained & qualified engineer should undo a bolt!

I interviewed over 100 or so engineers over the last 4 years (HNC Mech/Elec Eng) and employed a dozen from that and I have yet to employ one who I haven't had to instruct on some basic mechanical features of the machines I design or that we have.

A classic one is an eccentric cam adjuster. All trials riders understand the mechanical principals of this device as its used for rear wheel chain tension/alignment.

If anyone else here employs people they must feel the same level of despair I do sometimes