Imagination time, what would Kinnel & his minder have to discuss.

Starter for 10 'Brian.........Brian..........Brian...............where the **** are you?'

"More what?"

"Morar! where the **** is Morar?"

KINELL - IT'S A RADIO NOT ******* SCUBA GEAR, TRY STAYING ON THE BIKE FOR THIS ONE.

Try to smile for the cameras Kinell, that way we'll have a recent photo for the search party.

No your bum doesn't look big in this, now just concentrate on the rest of the ******* section

Left hand stabiliser's out of action - lean right!

Brian, your wife's on the phone, your hair dye delivery's turned up at home. Do want it sending on or left on the pallett?

"ohh sorry, I was watching the rider in the next section!"

Look at the ar$e on her kinnel..(Smash).

Bikespace - You excelled there mate! Was this flow of creative rapport Cider induced by any chance?

At Hawkstone can we have Martins comments to Dougie sent down the PA ??? three inches back, half a tyre right, perfect, big effort now

no radio, no instructions, no minders and no stopping that has got to be the way trials must go to help the sport grow.

Please wait until the nextel customer can be located

Was this flow of creative rapport Cider induced by any chance?

I think I'd finished my warm up at least

Was this flow of creative rapport Cider induced by any chance?

I think I'd finished my warm up at least

Might of guessed

Wouldn't need Martin's instructions down the PA, normally loudest thing around. Heres another thought, if we don't all go ship to shore would minders need to be sound tested?

Maybe a lower cost version would to use mobile phones

Might go something like this

You are in a trials queues

Dial 1 for a clean ride

Dial 2 For a sproggy 3

Dial 3 to distract the observer while we move this big rock out of the way

Dial 4 for oxygen and red bull

Dial 5 to hope that cocky young kid whos has just made you look a tosser by blitzing the hardest section of the day goes over the bars at the next section

And of course there would be the normal disclaimer.

Your riding maybe video recorded for training purposes and in order to show your worst moments to a nation of gleeful other riders waiting to extract the urine.