Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking

buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their

upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself

by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily

on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the

landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and

looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and

bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began

putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and

stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and

butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the

broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of

blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but

mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

Differences between men and women.

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in

B40RT Posted Today, 09:03 AM

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing .

HAHAH so true, and even if he was able to manage to remember his mistakes he would still be mistaken as to how he was mistaken the first time.

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was

not happy with what she sees and says to me, 'I feel horrible; I

look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight starts .....