Anything goes

might be handy for those venues where your not so sure leavin the trailer........... aldi - trailer hitch lock (uk only guys sorry)

1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name? 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? 3. Before Mt. Everestwas discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? 4. How much dirt is there in a hole... that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? 5. What word in the English Language... is always spelled incorrectly? 6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible? 7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man wit…

Hi there folks, As we have a range of careers on the board, I was just wondering if anyone has done the Microsoft Certified System Administrator course, namely for Windows Server 2003...or any other edition would be helpful. If you have done this, or currently doing it, could you please add me to MSN...I have a few questions that may need more development than a forum discussion. My address is mattio2k [AT] hotmail.com Thanks

Oh dear: North Yorkshire tests nuke

Just as an aside to all this Russel Brand and Jonathon Ross nonsense and Fawlty Towers, we are working in a O&G and renewables partnership with a company about to start development of 4 new field locations in the Cromarty Firth, the field/well names: Basil, Sybil, Manuel and Polly. I KID YOU NOT...nearly wet myelf when I read the spec the other day

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!! Glasgow cop says, ' Licence and registration, please.' London Lawyer says, 'What for?' Glasgow cop says, 'Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.' London Lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.' Glasgow cop says,…

Is there a list on TC of all the TC advertisers? cant find one anywhere

A virile, middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless. After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?" She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No." Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, "You finish?" Again, after a short pause, she returns his s…

Just wondering why we don't see the smilies anymore? Makes it hard to read. O.K. now I see them, whats up? On Edit, to answer my own stupid question you have to be logged in to see the smilies.

A pensioner can no longer stand his wife's 40 years of nagging and decides to get her ''bumped-off'' by a hit-man. He asks the hit-man ''It will be a clean,efficient kill,won't it?'' The hit-man replies ''Yes,be assured,one bullet shot just below the left nipple'' The old guy shouts back '' Christ ! I want her dead not f###ing knee-capped !''

Hi guys, I have recently began a personal challenge, i am planning to walk the last two latitudinal degrees from 88 degrees north to 90 degrees north (the North Pole) - a distance of over 200kms. This expedition will take roughly three weeks, i will be part of a small team who will be unsuported from the moment of the drop-off (at 88 degrees) until we reach the North Pole. We will walk towing sledges behind us with all of the food, tents, clothing, etc we need for the full three weeks. I will be trying to raise money to support this expedition and i will be raising money for the leading cancer research charity in the UK (www.cancerresearchuk.org). In total i have to r…

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing cold.' The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up.' The daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, 'My hands are freezing cold.' The girl replied, Put them between my legs and the warmth of my body will warm them up.' He did and warmed his hands. The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, 'My nose is cold.' The girl replied 'Put it between my legs, the warmth of …

A bus pulled up at a Bus Stop and 2 Italian men get on, they sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: "Emma comes-a first. Den I come. Den come in-a-ass and come in-a-ass again. Den I come once-a-more. Den come in-a-ass and come in-a-ass again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come-a one last-a time." "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives" "Hey, cool-a down lady," said the man. "Who's ada talkin' about-a sex…

hi, i am trying to place an advert on the classified ads section but am struggling to get logged in. I have registered some time ago but have forgotten my password, when i recive a temporrary password by email i use the link on the email to log in but it keeps comming up on the screen telling me to use the link in the email "which is what i have already done" to get me to the logging in page. please help!

Altogether Now.

hello everyone im new here, i picked up an lt50 quad for my kids its a non runner been sat for a while, i need to know what wiring they have as on my one there is onlt onw wire coming off a condenser thingy behind the flywheel and i havent a clue where it goes. the pull start is poggered but turns over quicklt with a drill, does the putt start have to be on the engine to let it spark as whrn you pull the back brake there is a bit of metal which makes contact with the flywheel. any information would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

Does any body else ever get this with their recycle bin? I get it allll the time, the icon says there's an item, so you check, and there isn't, so you click empty and it gives me that message. What's with that ?

Remember years ago when they were making Braveheart? Everyone was saying, "Oh, its ridiculous; Mel Gibson playing a Scottish guy? That's not going to be very convincing!" But take a look at him now: an alcoholic Racist! A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*ck your brains out, and suck your t*ts dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?" He replied, "It looks as if I di…

Could anyone who lives near Hartshill Road, Newcastle-under-Lyme do me a huge favour and tell me if house number 749 Hartshill Road actually exists please. I suspect it doesn't and is instead part of North Staffordshire Royal Infirmary or the workhouse as it previously was. Many thanks Bryan