Anything goes

Remember years ago when they were making Braveheart? Everyone was saying, "Oh, its ridiculous; Mel Gibson playing a Scottish guy? That's not going to be very convincing!" But take a look at him now: an alcoholic Racist! A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*ck your brains out, and suck your t*ts dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?" He replied, "It looks as if I di…

A very rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Jimmy, the only aboriginal in the Neighbourhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his Mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating Prawns and oysters at the BBQ and flirting. At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 15ft Man-eating Crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to Anyone who Has the balls to jump in." The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud Splash and everyone turned around and saw Jimmy in the pool! Jimmy was fighting the croc and kicki…

The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep It was fascinating.' The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'. Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was 'fascinated.' The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.' Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him…

Hi Guys. This Friday, the 29th of April, I and a team of work mates will be attempting the 3 peaks challenge. For those who are not aware, it involves climbing Ben Nevis, Scafell Pike and Mount Snowdon in 24 hours including travelling time. We are trying to raise sponsorship for The Rainbows Hospice. Rainbows cares for children with terminal illnesses and offers support to families also. If any fellow trials riders fancy contributing then any sponsorship will make a real difference. Just follow the link to my just giving page and you can donate online http://www.justgiving.com/Team3PeaksChallenge Thanks for taking time to read this thread. Hope to see any of you soo…

http://imagenebula.com/?task=view&id=2149 How amazing is that!

The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some basic exercises the trainer tells them that their next objective ... is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it ready to skin and cook. Night falls... First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark silenced "double-tap". They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly between the eyes. "Excellent!" remarks the trainer. Next up - the Para 's. They finish their c…

Hi, Can you please advise on how i go about renewing my subscription. Many Thanks Hightoewn

Nelson:

Might have some great job opportunities in the near future: ESS Movies BTW, I've met Robert Winston. Helluva nice guy. I also visited the spallation source at the Rutherford-Appleton lab a few weeks ago.

Zimbabwe Cricket World Cup

Currently the UAE Desert Challengne is underway in the UAE. This off road competition is usually regarded as a warm up to the Paris - Dakar and past winners Marc Coma and Cyril Despres are competiting. You can even keep tabs on the riders, drivers postitions, live via satellite. UAE Desert Challenge I'm hoping to get out into the desert Friday to catch some of the race.

Admit I don,t get around much on the facebook thing, but seen you pop up whilst putting up my comments of thanks to the others! Another good year to you Jake! Cheers,

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, APPEARS TO kiss her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy hi…

Help ma boab! This works! TC works fine via ma blackberry pearl. See ya all at hawkstone, am making a special effort to break into the wife's birthday week and holiday (currently sat in a bar in windermere) to be there, besides am owe Jake a beer..... Ian.

Just wondering if anyone can recommend from their personnel use, a website that has PSP screen repairs available . I have found one site , and at about

Husband and wife are shopping in Tesco's when the man picks up a crate of Stella and sticks them into the trolley 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife 'They're on offer, only

Great great Start to finish Indy 500, Yeah great, Dario

One night , after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist. He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probing then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and the returned to do the same to her right thig…

A little ballad, yet the Eagles have mor friggin hits than they can fill a concert with. Many just sem to better with age! HERE