mr clean Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 (edited) Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006 2006 Darwin AwardsAnd the candidates this year are............. MICHIGAN... In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. CALIFORNIA... A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," -- accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run. NORTH CAROLINA... Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. CALIFORNIA... Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth(to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor. DELAWARE... Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyvill, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. HONOURABLE MENTION: NEW JERSEY... Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed. RUNNER UP: WASHINGTON... TACOMA, WA.........Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located. AND THE WINNER: FROM G-E-R-M-A-N-Y is.... Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated." Sure helps keep my faith in humanity Then again enough people voted for George to make him President. Twice? Edited December 29, 2006 by Mr Clean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 And people say that I am not the sharpest tool in the shed... Sad thing that most ended in death, what a dumb way to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr clean Posted December 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 About the Darwin Awards A Darwin Award is a tongue-in-cheek "honor" given to people who supposedly improve the human gene pool as part of the natural-selection process by accidentally killing or sterilizing themselves during a foolish or careless mistake. Named after pioneering evolutionary theorist Charles Darwin. Examples Examples of Darwin award winners would be: Juggling active hand grenades (Croatia, 2001),[4] jumping out of a plane to film skydivers while forgetting to wear a parachute oneself (USA, 1987),[5] trying to get enough light to look down a gun barrel using a cigarette lighter (USA, 1996),[6] using a lighter to illuminate a fuel tank to make sure it contains nothing flammable (Brazil, 2003),[7] and the man who had sexual intercourse with a vacuum cleaner (USA, 2000).[8]Northcutt's Darwin Awards site gives "Honorable Mentions" to people who manage to survive their misadventures with their reproductive capacity intact. One notable example is Lawnchair Larry, who attached helium balloons to a lawn chair and floated way too far above Long Beach, California, in July 1982. If alien life forms are watching us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 Nature does have a way of weeding out the idiots. At least the "winner" was not from the US Although all the other candidates were. stupid meerkins Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scorpa3 Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 Funny but sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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