perce Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them. She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she could join them. Naturally, the guys all agreed. Smiling, the blonde thanked them and said, "Look, fellows, I work in a topless club as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But I enjoy playing golf and I consider myself pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to play my shots." With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first. All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green. The father's mouth was agape. "That was beautiful," he said. The blonde put her driver away and said, "I really didn't get into it, and I faded it a little." After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole (she was closest to the pin.) The son said, "Damn, lady, you played that perfectly." The blonde frowned and said, "It was a little weak, but even an easy seven would have been too much club. I've left a tricky little putt." She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie. Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole, knocked the hell out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in the middle of the fairway. For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole. When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par. She turned to the three guys and said, "I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this course. If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole, I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single Malt Strathmill Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a very good time the rest of the night. The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green, carefully eying the line of the putt and finally said, "Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup. The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
29r Posted September 8, 2007 Report Share Posted September 8, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atomant Posted September 8, 2007 Report Share Posted September 8, 2007 Two guys and their wives decide to have a round of golf and as they walk onto the first tee, the ladies suggest they will walk on down to the ladies tee and wait for them to tee off. The first guy sets up his ball on the tee and lets rip with the driver. The ball flies forward and hits his wife clean on the back of her head knocking her forward to the floor. "Oh my god" his playing partner shouts! The lady is rushed to hospital and is in surgery when after a while the surgeon comes out and says to the man. "Its ok, Your wife will be fine but there is something that's puzzling me!" "What's that " the golfer says. "Well, we found a Titleist 1 embedded in the back of her head, but we also found a Titleist 3 up her backside" The golfer says.. " Well, I had to hit a provisional didnt I " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveo Posted September 8, 2007 Report Share Posted September 8, 2007 A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, Multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron Wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to You?" "Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my Wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our Golf balls into a field of cattle. We went to look for them and while I was looking Around I noticed one of the cows had something white At its rear end." "I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, There was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - Stuck right in the middle of the cow's fanny. Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!'" "I don't remember much after that.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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