how the f**k do i get it under the tyre clamp???

Undo the clamp nut to the end of the thread,

Put the tyre and tube on,

you should be able to get 1 side of the tyre under to start,

press the clamp in as far as you can,

if need be put your tyre lever under tyre and push the clamp inside the tyre, put a little bit of washing up liquid around edge of the tyre,

pump it up to 40-50 psi until the tyre sits evenly around the rim,

tighten the clamp down,

wash of the excess washing up liquid,

leave it pumped up until your gonna ride it next.

Then let it down 7 psi for fatties 6 psi for skinnies.

when taking off or puttin on a tube tyre remember 'start and finish at the valve'(thats start taking it off from the valve, and finish putting it on at the valve)