the_oil_baron

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandad in the hospital "How are you, Grandad?" he asks. "Feeling fine," says the old man. "What's the food like?" "Terrific, wonderful menus." "And the nursing?" "Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you." "What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?" "No problem at all, nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet ... and that's it. I go out like a light." The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the Sister in charge. "What are you people doing?!" he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?" "Oh, yes," replies the Sister. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The hot chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed."

The inventor of autocorrect has died. I didn't even know he was i'll ....

That sounds like a good idea...

Hi from Nr Callac

Saw Motorhead in Sheffield in 1979, been a fan ever since.... RIP Lemmy

FACT VS FICTION Man Flu is simply a cold, the symptoms of which are greatly exaggerated by men. FALSE - Man Flu is a serious and potentially life threatening illness, and will no doubt soon be on the Health and Safety Executive's list of Reportable Diseases. Man Flu is a distinct disease in its own right, and should not be misdiagnosed as a mere common cold. Women can catch Man Flu FALSE - Man Flu does not attack humans with the XX chromosome, only those with the XY chromosome. This genetic mutation effectively immunises females against Man Flu. This may account for the reason that women widely believe that Man Flu is actually just the common cold, but with a bit of extra drama thrown in for good measure. The best way to deal with Man Flu is to just and#39;get on with it' FALSE - Extensive research has proven that the only way to combat the crippling effects of Man Flu is complete withdrawal to the sofa and uninterrupted mollycoddling by the girlfriend / wife. Men have a slower recovery rate from Man Flu than women do from the common cold TRUE - The effects of Man Flu can linger for days and days, compared with just a few hours for the common cold. If the man is not permitted the correct period of convalescence following an attack of Man Flu he can be plunged back into a critical condition Man Flu is just a way for men to get sympathy / time off work / time in front of the telly FALSE - Man Flu is a bona-fide and debilitating illness, would men make a meal of that sort of thing? The pain and suffering of Man Flu is similar to that of child birth TRUE - Though at least with child birth it's all done and dusted in a few hours, but Man Flu can last for weeks... The best cure for Man Flu is a cocktail of Night Nurse, Day Nurse, chicken noodle soup and whiskey. FALSE - There is no cure for Man Flu. Once infected the afflicted can only hope that the gods roll the dice in favour of life rather than slow, lingering death. While suffering from Man Flu, men would like nothing more than to go to work and try to forget about their affliction. TRUE - However, men recognise the huge risk of spreading Man Flu to other men. Indeed, a single cough in the wrong direction could hold enough Man Flu germs to wipe out a small rainforest tribe.

I was once asked by Procter & Gamble to survey women to find out which soap they prefered using when showering. Their overwhelming response might surprise you as much as it did me. I asked 100 women, what their favorite soap in the shower was and the most popular response was: "How the F*** did you get in here?!?!"

Errrr can't remember. It was my mate (on TC as French Mike... credit were its due) that did all the work. I don't think we changed anything on the rear brake and I find it spot on position for my size tens. It looked quite nice before I took it out and got it all muddy...

Assuming my picture loading prowess is good here is a picture of my original footrest before it was modifed and then the other side after being lowered. Also note the modified kickstart to miss the footrest.

My wife and I went to the Royal Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs .......Smiled and said, and "He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week." We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR' My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, "WOW~~That's more than twice a week ! .........You could learn a lot from him." We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR' My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, "That's once a day .You could REALLY learn something from this one." I looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow." My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.

I've had the same issue and got a pair of Novagars. I think they might have stopped making them now though.

If you're moving to France permanently then you are required to register your bike within 6 months, I think. This can be an entertaining process depending on age, type and if you can get a certificate of conformity. I've done a road bike but never a trials bike. My 4t beta is French but I got it cheap off a French guy who never bothered changing the registration over when he got it. I did get the original docs and checked it wasn't nicked. He was riding s2 at his club no issues. However if it has wheels you are legally required to insure it. Can't do that without a Carte Gris (registration). My ossa MAR can't be registered because it's an old uk bike that was never registered anyway. Catch 22 really. I ride with 6 or 7 mates and I think maybe 1 or 2 are registered. If you're riding road section it is of course a different matter. I'm at work and out of France till November but I'll do a bit of digging and try and find out a bit more. Do a search for Trail Club Bourbriac I think the info you want is on their site If you happen to be moving to (or even passing through) Brittany we've got no shortage of places to play on..and are always looking for someone to laugh at me falling off.. Apologies for any errors in advance as I am sat at the bar in a Dubai pub.......

and.....

A little safety warning as October is on it's way