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Performance Enhancing Pies Have No Place In Our Sport


stormy normy
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Well I cant say I am surprised, P E P's have been rife in the Eastern Centre for some time, things have got so bad that some riders blatanty consume P E P's with out caring if anyone notices. There are 2 riders in particular who have taken things to the extreme by actually entering trials as Team Pukka Pie Beta and Team Ginsters Beta ! They have even developed a way of riding by mastering a very dificult technique locally known as the Tubby Turn this is closely followed by the seams ripping around the back wheel area !

I say ban the cheats from our sport !

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Now we know why the US lags so far behind the UK in trials! Our pies are sweet fruit things that just make us fat, no performance enhancing qualities whatsoever. You can't even drink beer with them! I had the chance to try eel pies a few years ago on my honeymoon in England. Passed up the chance, perhaps for the best. I probably couldn't afford them now with the dollar weighing in at half a pound, but apparently that's the price of success?!

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If you know about pies, and I do, the words Pukka and Ginster are the the worst type of insult....

Now if your talking quality pies, the steak ones from Goodswens on Redcar High Street take some beating........

(Andy - I have no commercial interest in Goodswens - honest!)

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i agree that there is no room in our sport for cheats , at whatever level, however i must point out the nature of another sustance, namley HOBNOBS. these seemingly small items can be habit forming and are, in my opinion far worse than a pie , or any sort of savory bakery produce.

whereas a pie is usually consumed one at a time with a reasonable time frame inbetween, the HOBNOB can be systematically eaten one after another, packet after packet.

the effects are as follows:

the inability to walk sections of more than 15 degrees in gradiant, if at all.

unable to buckle boots up, not because of leg swelling but the inabillity to bend.

addicts are oftern heard to say "these trousers/top have shrunk in the wash" (they havent at all !)

riding rock steps become a thing of the past, you would need a NASA rocket to get that bulk up five feet.

the addicts can be spotted in an early stage by the following observation. in between laps, when passing the van, instead of stopping for a drink of water they can been seen to be having "a nice cup of tea" usually in a large mug. (better for dunking)

all these observations are born from bitter experience, i too was swayed by the oatie sweetness of the worlds most adictive biscuits , i was one step away from adding a chocolate topping the proceedings when i called a halt. "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" i cried, then i had "just one more"

you have been warned.

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