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About Me

During my first ever game of truth or dare I was dared to run away from home, change my name, and make a living in the shadowy criminal underbelly of 1960's Paris.  It worked out rather well, because I was recruited by the CIA; initially to peddle false intelligence into the vast mafia network who were planning to infiltrate a local TV station for nefarious reasons, however I quickly rose through the ranks by being exceptionally ruthless.  I once had to kill a Chinese spy with nothing but a chopstick, which is exactly as difficult as it sounds AND meant I couldn't get food from my favourite takeaway again.  Fearing I would become compromised by my fast food preferences I was smuggled into Norway in a lorry full of herring, and given an assignment to cross into the USSR and map out missile bases but I got lost and became cryogenicly frozen by a sudden cold front that had moved in from Antarctica.  There I stayed until 2016 when thanks to global warming I was freed from my icy prison at which point I returned to the UK and took up trials riding but it turned out I wasn't very good at it.

Still, I definitely beat Sarah Tilley at that game of spin the bottle, and that's what really counts.

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