December 15, 200421 yr Ring... "Yo." "Hey Bender, ya wanna come over for some Backyard Boulder Hoppin'?" "Naw. I gotta plug the hole in my bass boat today." "Which one?" "The 12 gauge one." "Which BOAT, ya moron, not which hole!" "A River Runs Thru It." "I thought you sold that one." "No. The guy backed out. Said somethin' about the name. Musta been superstitious or somethin'." "C'mon over. I got a big new step in the yard here." "Big?" "Backyard Bigness, Baby." "I'll be right over." "Cool." click The Bender came over... without his bike. I let him ride the Techno. Hell, he's my brother, and he never actually breaks anything, he just bends everything. Thus, "The Bender". We suited up and rode from the garage to the rocks. 35 feet. "Where's Riley?" "He's suckin' up pastel colored umbrella laiden cocktails in the Bahamas." "Well... Why's his truck still here?" "He flew. Imagine that... and get this... he sold the truck to Ringo." "Ringo?" "Yea Ringo, and get this... Ringo stole it for 20k! A brand spankin' new 2002 F-250 4x4 Crew Cab 4 door turbo diesel, with less than 30 thousand miles on it. Can you believe that? This thing sold for 47k new! I'm gonna deliver it to Ringo over the holidays." "Well anyway, where's this big step?" Ring... "Darned phone. I'll be right back." I whipped off my helmet and ran to the phone... "Hello and I'm not interested." "GET AWAY FROM MY TRUCK!" "Ringo. Howz it goin'?" "Just step the hell away from it Sendero, and don't EVEN drive it." "Dude, relax. I'm just sittin' here in the Life Sucking Chair, with a fresh set of batteries in the remote, steady clickin' 'em off, and watchin' the truck thru the window. It's fine." "That's right, Sendero. You BETTER be watchin' it, and if you drive it I'll beat you to a pulp." "Easy Mongo. I'll keep an eye on it for ya. Only 27 more days and it's yours... and try to call me only during the commercials, ok?" click. "Who was that?" "Ringo." "Every five minutes?" "Yup." The Bender's eyes opened wide... "Heeeeey... I know... Let's take it out in the desert and jump it! Let's see what one of these baby's can do!" (four raised eyebrows and a moment of silent contemplation) "Naw, we better not. Ringo's alright. No reason to beat on his stuff behind his back, ya know what I mean?" "Yea, cool. Now where's this big new step?" "Right here..." "Wow. That IS big., Think you can do it?" "I think I can, but I know you can't." "Get outa my way old man! I'll huck that easy!" Ring... I whipped off my helmet and ran to the phone... "Hello and I'm not interested." "JUST BACK THE HELL OFF, SENDERO! I KNOW YOU'RE THINKIN' ABOUT DRIVIN' IT! GET AWAY!" "Ringmaster, will ya relax? Hold on a second... (hand over phone, but just enough so Ringo could hear) Honey? Can ya get me another pack of Twinkies out of the fridge? Thanks dear. Oh, and how bout another glass of that chocolate milk? What a sweetheart you are. Love ya... Ok, I'm back." "You are so full of it Sendero. Just don't let anything happen to it, or bodies are gonna hit the floor!" "It''ll be just like Riley left it. Pristine. Including the custom Trials Graphics he had made for it.' "Trials Graphics?" "Yea. You'll dig 'em. Way cool." "YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT TRIALS GRAPHICS! WADDAYA TRYIN' TO PULL HERE SENDERO!" "Hey Ringo, gotta go man. The fat tattooed lesbo is takin' off her top and beating her toothless boyfriend again." click back to the rocks... "Ringo?" "Yup." the Bender... looking at the big new step... "Wow. This is big. How ya gonna do it?" "Welp, here's what I'm thinkin'... Third gear, leave from here, about a level 9 zap to here, front wheel landing here, about 6 inch lateral left rear wheel to here, and stop. Now you gotta bunny or flip a 90 to set up for this. Better hit this fast and light cuz there's no traction here, plant one if you have to here, and your up. Now it's two easy drops and out. Got it?" "Wow... I'm gonna have to let this one go, but I could nail it if I had more bike time and less fish in the freezer. Let's go do the regular stuff." "Yea. Im with ya. But at least I got you off the couch. I'm gonna nail this one. It's just a matter of time." ring... "Hello and I'm not interested." "WHAT'S THIS CRAP ABOUT TRIALS GRAPHICS, SENDERO? TELL ME EVERYTHING! THIS COULD BE A DEAL KILLER YA KNOW!" "Hold on a second Ringo... LATER BENDER! GET SOME REST! YA RODE ALMOST THREE MINUTES TODAY!... Ok, I'm back." "Waddaya tryin' to pull here, Sendero?" "Nothing. Not a thing. Just before Riley left, he went down to the sign shop and had some really cool Trials Graphics made for it. Nothing outrageous, very subdued, but a Trials rider would know what he was lookin' at. You'll be a hit in the pits for sure. Trust me." "I don't like this, Sendero. I don't like it one bit!" "Relax. Riley keeps so much wax on the darned thing, if ya don't like 'em, they'll probably just wipe right off." "THIS IS BULLSH..." "Ringo? Hello? you're breakin' up. Hello?" "I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME YOU SON OF A B..." Ringo? Get to a land line, dude, I can't hear a word you're sayin'." "!@#$%^&" click I went back to the big step. I looked it over one last time and let it fly. As soon as I dropped off the last step and out, I bolted for the phone. Ring... "Yo." "Bender! I did it! I hucked that bad boy and only dropped two. I had to plant twice in the 90 to the right, but I made it! Yeeee Haaaa!" "You're kidding! That's huge for such an old fat guy like you. Gnarly. Tell me everything." "Well, I kinda cheated." "AHA!! I knew it! You had to cheat, didn't ya!" "Yea, well the I moved the truck forward a little to get the raised white letters of the front tire in just the right spot. When I popped up on the hood I had to drop two to get turned, but once I got over the windshield it was a piece of cake, down, down, and out." "Any damage to the truck?" "Ha! Nothin' major. One windshield wiper arm and some tire tracks." "He's gonna freak!" "I'll just tell him the tire tracks are actually Trials Graphics or something. Oops. Got another call. Later."
December 15, 200421 yr Ha ha ha, that's f,ing hilarious Next he's going to call and tell me he got it stuck at the bottom of some steep two track behind the high school cheerleading tryout center and I owe him $250 bucks for the tow job.
December 15, 200421 yr And what about all those pregnant cheerleaders who can only describe the truck the guy was in..."It had these, like, tire tracks, like, painted on the hood."
December 15, 200421 yr Ishy, sick minds think alike . Thing is Sendero's 'tow job' isn't worth $250. Just ask Bagger! Of course I'll get blamed for the pregnant cheerleaders, I get blamed for everything. Didn't you hear Rumsfelds response to the lack of armored vehicles in Iraq? From the assassisted press "We have all our armored vehicles surrounding Duluth to keep Ringo out, our country can
December 16, 200421 yr Ishy,sick minds think alike . Thing is Sendero's 'tow job' isn't worth $250. Just ask Bagger! $100 per inch.
December 16, 200421 yr Thats a beauty Sendero,was Monica Lewiniski a cheerleader down your way by chance.
December 19, 200421 yr I haven't been here for a long time. Having just returned to see how things are going, I can see that you guy's are still just as juvinile as I remembered. I (sniff) love you guys. (Now will somone give me a beer?)
December 21, 200421 yr Hey Jerry, How the heck ya been? Still swigging a fifth of Jack a night? What about riding? No, not the couch, or do you even have motorized scooter these days?
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