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laird387

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Posts posted by laird387
 
 
  1. My Travel Plans For 2016

     

    I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots.

    Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.

    I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

    I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work.

    I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

    I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

    I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

    Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

    One of my favourite places to be is in Suspense ! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age, I need all the stimuli I can get !

    I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country that was in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.

    Please do your part ! My job is done ! Life is too short for negative drama and petty things. So, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly !

     

    • Like 3
  2. "As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow , there's a wee place called McTavish's.... The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink."

    "Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London , the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

    "Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said Paddy Sheehan, the Irishman. "Back home in me favorite pub in Galway , the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you get laid, all on the house!"

    The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims. "Did this actually happen to you?"

    "Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times."

     

     

     

    • Like 1
  3. A Guide to Career Development


     


    Once I was an apprentice,


    Eager to impress,


    For craftsmen I was eager,


    always to do my bit,


    Determined just to show them,


    the apprentice had true grit


     


    Then I was an engineer


    Eager to impress,


    Managers they would panic, at the


    sight of the setting sun,


    I would quietly get stuck in, and


    quickly had it done


     


    Then I was a manager


    Still eager to impress


    With my staff behind me, I would


    simply lead the way


    With my staff behind me we


    would always win the day


    Now I am a retired man


     


    The wife I have to impress


    Overworked and underpaid, I have


    no time to rest


    Despite all this my boyos, with


    retirement I’m impressed!

    • Like 2
  4. Just in time to consider before the referendum


     


    The British Penny


    European Union Directive No. 456179


     


    In order to bring about further integration with the single European


    currency, the Euro, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and


    Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase "Spending a Penny" is


    not to be used after 30 April 2016.


     


    From this date onwards, the correct term will be:"Euronating".


     


    It is hoped that this will be a great-relief to everyone. If you have any


    questions, just give us a tinkle.


    • Like 5
  5.  

     

     

    Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman. 

    Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman,

     

    "I'll leave the key under the mat. 

    Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque.

    Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. 

    He won't bother you." 

    "But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" 

    "I MUST STRESS TO YOU: DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

    When the repairman arrived at Wanda 's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen.

    But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. 

    The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. 

    Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, 

    "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

    To which the parrot replied, 

    "Get him Spike!" 

    See - Men just don't listen!

     
     
     

     

    • Like 1
  6. Hi,

     

    Jack Knoops found an interesting image of a motorcycle fitted with a radial engine. A little research showed that the radial engine is an Australian ROTEC R2800 seven cylinder light aircraft model built around 2000-ish, and later superseded by an improved model in 2005.

     

    Radial engines were designed initially exclusively for the aircraft industry as a means of arranging the maximum numbers of active cylinders mounted on the minimum size (and therefore weight) of crankcase.

     

    Attached is the image that first interested Jack. sadly the initial caption is totally inaccurate, describing it as a rotary engine!

    post-19290-0-43009700-1462610248_thumb.jpg

  7. Claude's bike was as far as you could see, absolutely bog standard - but he was a very talented rider, even before on a Motobecane home brew he was still one of the men to watch.  Natural talent will win over bike specification every day of the week............

     

    In those days, folding footrests were not usual.

     

    The real genius on the Greeves during my stint in France was Christian Rayer.

  8. Dinner in the Fifties

     Pasta had not been invented, it was macaroni or spaghetti.

    Curry was a surname.

    A take-away was a mathematical problem.

    Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time.

    All chips were plain.

    Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever part of our dinner.

    Brown bread was something only poor people ate.

    Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.

    Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.

    Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

    Chickens didn't have fingers in those days.

    None of us had ever heard of yogurt.

    Healthy food consisted of anything edible.

    Cooking outside was called camping.

    Seaweed was not a recognised food.

    'Kebab' was not even a word, never mind a food.

    Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold.

    Prunes were medicinal.

    Surprisingly muesli was readily available. It was called cattle feed.

    Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of a real one.

    Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and charging for it they would have become a laughing stock.

     

    The things that we never ever had on/at our table in the fifties...was elbows, hats or cell phones!

     

     

     

     

    • Like 1
  9. The best sound has to be a Matchless G80 Motocross bike with a straight through pipe!

     

    My favourite road bike was a Matchless G80CS with pillion seat and QD lights - made up in Plumstead for me in the Comp shop and delivered through King's of Oxford, where it was waiting in a special display window above the main door - and handed over by Stan Hailwood complete with local press camera.

     

    Before the motorway speed limits were introduced I did the run from the bottom of the MI to the end of the road, at that time, which was at Watford Gap, every weekend for nearly six months, whilst I was on a Diploma course at Chelsea, and Mary was staying with her Mum on the farm just outside Rugby to help out whilst I was away, then home to Market Drayton for each weekend.

     

    The M1 stint was just over 96 miles in those days and I did that regularly just under the hour.........

     

    And that was before crash helmets were introduced.

    • Like 2
  10. I think Most people in Leeds send wheels to C. Wylde's Just off Kirkstall Road. I'd give them a ring first as I think they are mainly online these days.

     

    Since many know I was brought up in Leeds can I explain that although I used to deliver groceries on a Saturday morning to Mr Wylde's home in Alwoodley on the shop bike with a tiny front wheel and a basket frame out front, and also bought several motorbikes from the shop over the years, that is the only connection between this Wylde and those Wyldes.........

  11. The Blue Bar Trophy Trial will run on May 28/29 at Horsehouse, Braidley. Start times are 12.00 noon on Saturday, and 10.30 am on Sunday. 

    Closing date for entries is May 7. Entry limit is 150. Entry fee is £35.00. All relevant classes plus ladies awards.

    Chris Wallis, at Park Top Farm, Marske, Richmond DL11 7LS  is the event secretary.

     

  12. @blic

    Quite true . We need plenty and afordable british bikes unfortunately which are not available anymore .. i wish we can re-manu facture complete engines again .. or may be get parts made cheap from india/china on same pattern..

    Sorry this my view only. Just want to see them for next century i passionate about them since childhood regards

     

    I know of several people who have used a Madras-built Enfield Bullet as an economical starting point.........

    • Like 1
 
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