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laird387

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Posts posted by laird387
 
 
  1. A couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office.
    The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
    The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse? '
    The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
    When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse. '
    He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them
    £50 and he says good bye.
    The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.
    This happens several weeks in a row.
    The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems,
    pays the doctor, then leave.
    Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'
    The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.
    She's married so we can't go to her house.
    I'm married and we can't go to my house.
    The Holiday Inn charges £98.
    The Hilton charges £139.
    We do it here for £50 , and I get £43 back from BUPA

     

    • Like 2
  2. When I looked at the picture of the Tandon Kangaroo I thought it to be a rigid framed machine with a slightly different frame layout than the more usual rear triangle and certainly not a springer.

    Is the suspension pivot rubber in torsion as on Greeves forks or maybe a rubber loop which stretches?

    Stretchy loops.

  3. Looks very similar to my dad's ol' Tandon Kangaroo.....

     

    Nice to see the one on the left has proper forks..... can't beat a constant wheelbase.

     

     

    Hi spen,

     

    How about this to stir the memories - one of Mr Tandon's scramblers in action...........

    post-19290-0-98256900-1460283754_thumb.jpg

    • Like 1
  4. Hi Will,

     

    Like most photographers I don't have many shots of me in action - but do you remember these days, I was riding the Greeves when we lived in Rhayader and started the Cwmderu Classic trials and scrambles, and also ran the first Classic Experts trial in Rhayader, as well as the Frank Jones rounds of the Sammy Miller.

     

    But, have a laugh!

    post-19290-0-20432500-1460201360_thumb.jpg

    • Like 1
  5. Hi Ross,

     

    If anyone can use a modern digital camera and take photos of the Scottish Classic round I will happily publish a Photoreport in Off Road Revue.  All I need are images straight from the camera and a copy of the results or entry list so that I can identify the riders - I will do all the rest.  Just drop an email to offroadrevue@gmail.com if you would like further details.

     

    Cheers

    Deryk

     

    PS. Photos of you, Mark and Jock are already in issue 40 due on-line shortly.

  6. Hi,

     

    Great news, the thieves must have realised the older machines were unlikely to be saleable because of their rarity value so the DOT TT wheels and the green and black BSA (1925/6) were found abandoned in a layby near Holmfirth.

     

    There is hope yet, please keep your eyes peeled for any suspicious offerings on eBay and the like.

    • Like 1
  7. Hi Will,

     

    I no longer express my thoughts or sentiments about machine eligibility problems , for one thing I am no longer fit enough to be able to travel to all of the events and really see for myself exactly what the problems are.

     

    Secondly, although I created the pre-65 definition and helped greatly in the successful spawning of a new (at the time) and now very active branch of the sport one has to realise that to have actually ridden in a trial before 1965, a rider would need to have been born before 1949, in other words, he would definitely be a pensioner now - and there aren't that many pensioners riding actively in trials.  That means the sport is now in the hands of generations of riders and organisers who have no personal insight of what it was all about - or why we created the sport in the first place.  

     

    In any case, it is their sport now - and up to them how they organise it and themselves.

     

    I rest my case, I am available for advice or accurate historical reference - but that has to be all.

     

    Deryk

     

    PS What about the Vincents in the Talmag...............

  8. Hi Jon,

     

    I know it is veering towards the dark side - but if you have a second plug fitted you could remove one and fit one of the old Villiers straight to atmosphere compression releases to use for easing the kickstart for your knee.

  9. Hi David,

     

    The wheel hubs look like Ariel Leader and the forks, externally could certainly be Norton Roadholder, possibly in BSA top and bottom yokes, but would need closer detail to check.

     

    The motor looks like a Tiger 100 pre-unit.

     

    If I remember correctly Jim Lee worked in Batley (or thereabouts) in the West Riding and was most likely to be involved in road racing - the frame has a lot of Norton Dominator influences.

     

    Enjoy

  10. Looks very similar to my dad's ol' Tandon Kangaroo.....

     

    Nice to see the one on the left has proper forks..... can't beat a constant wheelbase.

     

    How about this then spen?  Sorry about the forks but Mr Tandon (Yes, I met him!) used teles usually.

     

    He had his little factory/workshop in the basement of our building in Watford.

    post-19290-0-18494200-1459530202_thumb.jpg

    • Like 2
  11.  

    NINE WORDS WOMEN USE...


    (1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 

    (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 

    (3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 

    (4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 

    (5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.) 
    (6) That's OkayThis is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 

    (7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'.. That will bring on a 'whatever'). 

    (8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying...Go to Hell... 

    (9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3. 


     

    * Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

     
            

     

    • Like 2
  12. The Dot Factory in Manchester has been targeted by thieves. 

     

    Items stolen include:  Two complete wheels and belt drive for a 1908 Dot TT bike. (Photos attached),   Three complete machines:   a 1925/6 BSA 350cc OHV Single Black/Green, a 1965/7 Triumph Tiger 100 500cc Blue/Cream, a 1955/6 Dot Mancunian Road machine 197cc Villiers Green.      

    Also:   Talco Topbox Blue, Beta Rollcab Blue. Contents include: Spanners Whitworth, A/F and Metric, Toolzone Metric Socket Set, Whitworth sockets, Angle Grinder, Micrometer Moore and Wright, and miscellaneous other tools.   

    Your help appreciated. 

     

    Please contact Al Ussher Tel:  01694 724717.   Thanks everyone.

    post-19290-0-45052500-1459518415_thumb.jpg

    post-19290-0-22117900-1459518447_thumb.jpg

  13. Sad news from Barry Robinson.

     

    "Fifty eight years as a key member of the Richmond Motor Club ended last Thursday with the death of David Allinson. The former Reeth electrical engineer fought health problems for several years and a decision was taken to take up residence in the Rosedale Nursing Home at Catterick where he moved, following a spell in hospital. He was just eighty years of age and a widower for twenty-eight years. He is survived by daughters Andrea, Tracey and son Robert plus seven grand children.

    He joined the Richmond club in 1958 and made huge contributions to his club. Holding positions as Scott Trial Secretary, Clerk of Course for national championship trials and also as Yorkshire Centre A-C.U. President in 1986.

    Not only did he undertake official duties of the club, he also competed in trials, even the Scott Trial when he rode a 500c Ariel machine. His first Scott Trial was in 1958 followed by eight further attempts.  

    The Reeth Three Day trial was hatched by Andrew Brown, Andy Kearton, Kevin Sharp and David Allinson whilst at Fort William, where his trials enthusiasm regularly took him as a support member and later as an official observer at the Scottish Six Days Trial, and also the Loch Lomond Two Day Trial.

    His talents also took him to be Head Judge at the fancy dress parties at the Falls Hotel.

    His loyalty to the Reeth town ship was reflected in his membership of the Reeth Brass Band and retained member of Reeth Fire Brigade. His sporting interests also focused on Reeth cricket and football clubs. Duties included chief clock winder and choir member for Reeth Congregational Church as well mowing Grinton Church lawns with a vintage self propelled mower. David also attended to the Reeth Christmas tree lights every year, and was a key member of the local parish council

    Apart from tuning motorcycles in Victor Wallis’s shed he did take his twelve year old son Robert on a 500 Royal Enfield sidecar outfit over Reeth Moor only to get stuck in a wet gully in a cloud of steam. Robert still recalls the instructions from his father on how to get the machine moving.

    The funeral service will take place on Monday April 4 at Grinton Church commencing at 13.00."

  14. Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.

    So I went to a shrink and told him:

    “I've got problems.  Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it.  I'm scared.  I think I'm going crazy.”

    "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink.

    "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”

    “How much do you charge?”
     

    “One hundred fifty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.

    “I'll sleep on it,” I said.

    Six months later the doctor met me on the street.

    “Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” He asked.

    “Well, $150 a visit, three times a week for a year, is $23,400.00.  A bartender cured me for $10.00. 

    I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new pickup truck.”

    “Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”

    “He told me to cut the legs off the bed.  Ain't nobody under there now.”

     

    It's always better to get a second opinion.

     

     

    • Like 4
  15. Way back in the day, most people found that the simple fact of fitting the 4.00 x 19 rear lifted the back end compared to the normal road tyre ride height, but some also fitted a 2.75 x 20 front rather than the more usual 2.75 x 21, and that had the effect of steepening the rake to a happy trials compromise.

    post-19290-0-97568700-1459409182_thumb.jpg

  16. Message from Barry Robinson

     

    Kevin Morley borrowed this mighty Ariel from a friend. He found it somewhat
    heavier than his twin shock Fantic........ Fortunately his partner Julie is in the
    hospital business.

    Maybe horse liniment will free those aching muscles.......
    My late father in law swore by horse medication - for all ailments, and of
    course he was Scottish and a stone mason.

    post-19290-0-23142100-1459326088_thumb.jpg

  17. Hi All,

     

    The cost problem is, I suspect, due to the venue.

     

    Lourdes is of great significance to the religious fanatics, many of whom are prepared to save for a lifetime in order to experience a visit, and the locals are aware of the exploitation potential.............

     

    Try a visit to Knock in Ireland.............

 
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