b40rt Posted September 24, 2008 Report Share Posted September 24, 2008 Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been sighted. Q: Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash? A: She got cold and turned off the fan. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! Q: How do blonde brain cells die? A: Alone. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley? A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own. Q: Why do blondes take the pill? A: So they know what day of the week it is. Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions. Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change. Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings? A: Tell them a joke on Friday night! Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A: So brunettes can remember them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rustandoil Posted September 25, 2008 Report Share Posted September 25, 2008 Two blondes walk into a house You would have thought one of them would have seen it................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy Posted September 25, 2008 Report Share Posted September 25, 2008 Why was the Blonde Woman's belly button bruised? Her boyfriend was blonde also Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toofasttim Posted October 15, 2008 Report Share Posted October 15, 2008 A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. "I'm sorry," St Peter said; "But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals." "That's cool" said the blonde, "What does the Entrance Exam consist of?" "Just three questions" said St Peter. "Which are?' asked the blonde. "The first," said St Peter, "is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' "? The second is "How many seconds are there in a year?" The third is "What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?" "Now," said St Peter, "Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me." So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same). The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, "I have." "Well then," said St Peter, "Which two days of the week start with the letter T?" The blonde said, "Today and Tomorrow." St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question. "Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?" St Peter went on, "how many seconds in a year?" The Blonde replied, "Twelve!" "Only twelve?" exclaimed St Peter, "How did you arrive at that figure?" "Easy," said the blonde, "there's the second of January, the second of February, second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds." St Peter looked at the blonde and said, "I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision." And he walked away shaking his head. A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. "I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?" The blonde replied: "Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer." "Really!" exclaimed St Peter, "And what is the answer?" "It's Andy." "Andy??" "Yes, Andy," said the blonde. This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked "How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?" "Easy" said the blonde, "Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled." And the blonde entered Heaven... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 (edited) A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates."I'm sorry," St Peter said; "But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals." "That's cool" said the blonde, "What does the Entrance Exam consist of?" "Just three questions" said St Peter. "Which are?' asked the blonde. "The first," said St Peter, "is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' "? The second is "How many seconds are there in a year?" The third is "What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?" "Now," said St Peter, "Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me." So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same). The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, "I have." "Well then," said St Peter, "Which two days of the week start with the letter T?" The blonde said, "Today and Tomorrow." St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question. "Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?" St Peter went on, "how many seconds in a year?" The Blonde replied, "Twelve!" "Only twelve?" exclaimed St Peter, "How did you arrive at that figure?" "Easy," said the blonde, "there's the second of January, the second of February, second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds." St Peter looked at the blonde and said, "I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision." And he walked away shaking his head. A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. "I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?" The blonde replied: "Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer." "Really!" exclaimed St Peter, "And what is the answer?" "It's Andy." "Andy??" "Yes, Andy," said the blonde. This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked "How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?" "Easy" said the blonde, "Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled." And the blonde entered Heaven... TFT, are there any still alive that understand that joke, or is it still popular, there/? I understand it, yet ? Edited October 16, 2008 by copemech Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasgas4life Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 (edited) Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? Because it said "Concentrate" on it! Edited October 16, 2008 by gasgas4life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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