laird387

HELGA'S DIARY ON A CRUISE SHIP DEAR DIARY - DAY 1 All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter - The Late Bloomers decided on this "all-girls" trip. It will be my first one, - and I can't wait! ---------------------------------------------------- DEAR DIARY - DAY 2 Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man. ---------------------------------------------------- DEAR DIARY - DAY 3 At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive. --------------------------------------------------- DEAR DIARY - DAY 4 Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband. ---------------------------------------------------- DEAR DIARY - DAY 5 Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship... I was shocked. ---------------------------------------------------- DEAR DIARY - DAY 6 Today I saved 2600 lives.... Twice.

Just as an appetite whetter - one of the images from our archives that is being used in a feature on expert trials rider, grass tracker, scrambler and Champion road racer, Bob Foster in ORRe-45 Enjoy

Hi myyry, It is not possible to tell from the photo how much of the bike is original or how much very well made replica. It is very similar to the Triumph Trophy trials model ridden by all the works trials riders up to the 1960s, then Roy Peplow and Johnny Giles 'made' swinging arm versions, they were the only two Triumph swinging arm twins ridden in national trials ever ridden as so called 'works' bikes in trials in the UK. The popular belief was that any advantage gained by adding a sprung rear was vastly lost due to the increased weight, but this thinking radically changed in 1954 when Bob Manns, riding a swinging arm converted AJS bike he had created himself, in the national West of England trial, beat all the rest of the manufacturers soundly and there was a headlong rush to swinging arms. Bikes such as yours can still be ridden with success and pleasure in properly constituted classic trials where there is a separate class for rigid machines, with suitably arranged sections - but you don't tell us what your intention is, where you plan to ride it, etc., so I can't offer any help there. As an interesting sideline, in the southern half of the UK in the areas where there is more mud or sand used for sections, many prefer the ride on a rigid. Geoff Chandler, pictured, used his in the Southern Centre long after most other riders had converted to springers.

Hi minislim could have a point, you initially said that the retaining nuts had worked loose - that could have distorted the mounting flange, you might be able to see it with an engineers metal rule against a strong light and it only needs a microscopic distortion because you are getting maximum suction on the flange with the throttle shut, then if you can get the revs up it could run better, 'cos with the slide up there's less suction on the flange and inlet. Trouble is the alloy used for carbs is not the best quality.

Did you know Fantics feature regularly in our digital magazine - ORRe - with images similar to that of Andrew Keel riding his in the 2016 Scarboro' Two-day trial, which had a complete photoreport with dozens of photographs in the current issue. The only difference - there are no irritating watermarks in the magazine.........

Good thinking totalshell, "fit a new float a black one and away you go." I had one where there was a small hole in the float and fuel got in and changed the level that it 'floated' at, on an Ariel that I restored the flat brass that the cut off jet sat on had actually worn a small depression that changed the mixture..........

Hi, A regular question that I am asked is to explain just what I understand by the term 'classic' - and I have to admit that it is largely undefinable since it seems to mean so many different things to other people! But the digital magazine - ORRe - that I produce exclusively as a support facility for 'trialscentral', is defined as being of interest to classic enthusiasts. When all is said and done, there is often no better way than to admit that a picture can do far more persuasion than a thousand words, so here are a couple of examples that are typical of those you will find in the magazine - except there we don't use irritating watermarks, and copies of any of the photographs are usually free to subscribers. The images show Martin Lampkin riding in the 1983 World trial at Pateley Bridge, where we have more than just a passing interest because Jack Knoops who we work with was Clerk of the Course and can answer any questions. The other shot is of John Long from the Otter Vale club riding in the 2015 Sammy Miller round at Pateley Bridge. Both shots were taken by Barry Robinson, whose archive is part of the Offroad Archive on which the magazine is based. Enjoy.

Hi ken, Firstly, is it possible to prove it is the carburettor - have you an old one you could fit just to prove it? It reminds me of a problem I had with a minute hole in a carb which affected the float level, which became obvious when I had my Ajay ticking over, but hesitating on the pick up, just like yours, then one time I was trying it and couldn't reach a tool so leaned the bike a little to the side and the problem went away.........that was because the fuel level was different. Just a thought.

LADIES!

Yeadon –Guiseley Motor Club will stage an open practice day on Saturday-July 23 at Addingham Moorside commencing at 10.30 am. The practice event is open to licensed ACU Yorkshire Centre ACU club members. Catering is being sought.

Hi davetom, Within the first hour I had the first seven requests, by next morning it was close to thirty........so I did exactly as I have always done, I did what I said I was going to do.

Hi suzuki250, This was my initial reply to ron, which I have highlighted simply to indicate that my chosen reply would be subject to how many other people would be interested - because if you reread the first posting asking for help ron had already bought the external coil, so was aware of the inaccurate misinformation on google.............. For your information the digital magazine is NOT a commercial venture! It was created exclusively as an add-on feature of this forum to enable members whose main interests are classic sport, rather than modern sport like the 'wtc', could have access to additional pages of information that would obviously be boring to the bulk of the members. The fee at £12, which currently gives access to over 3500 pages of information and photographs (many never published before) simply does not compare with the usual cost of the digital versions of commercial magazines. It is not available anywhere else, it is an exclusive 'tc' feature.

A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up four cans and took them to the check out counter.The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat... A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat." The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food. Again the cashier said "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. A lot of old people buy dog food to eat, but the management wants proof that you are buying the dog food for your dog." So she went home and brought in her dog.She then was able to buy the dog food. The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there." The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and quickly pulled it out. She said to the little old lady, "That smells like ****." The little old lady said, "It is, I want to buy three rolls of toilet paper." Don't mess with old people!

Hi, Has anyone got contact details for Chris Carter who photographs pre-65 motocross in East Anglia? PM me or email at offroadrevue@gmail.com Thanks

Hi Simon, Email me on offroadrevue@gmail.com with details of what you would like to do, i.e. just trials, or trials and scrambles, plus where you are located and how far you would travel and I will be very happy to give you full details of places to go plus how to take action photos with real bite. Looking forward to hearing from you. Deryk

Hi davetom, I see your point of view, but the magazine was created to support the interests of the classic enthusiasts on the forum - moreover it doesn't exist outside the forum. It is solely an additional service for forum members! You might be interested to know that I have to pay exactly the same subscription as everybody else to be able to see what the magazine looks like after it has been transformed by Andy's software magic.......... PM me with details of what the problem with your Apple equipment and let us see if we can't help sort it - it shouldn't be rocket science 'cos my entire system is Apple Mac - I don't use Windows pc equipment.......... Cheers Deryk

Hi, We are busy sorting the best selection of our nine hundred action shots from the July Mortimer Classic meeting which will be featured in a photoreport in our digital magazine, ORRe. Enjoy

And to give you some idea of the style of our photos, her's one of Ben Myers riding in the 2016 Scarborough Two-day trial earlier this month, the trial had a complete photoreport in the current issue.

Hi spireite, I know there are images of Denis Wingfield buried in the archive - and they'll definitely be in ORRe as soon as I spot them!

Just to show anyone interested the scope of the magazine that ron does not wish to enjoy, here is one of our archive photos of a sixteen-year-old Londoner out practising on his very new bike taken in 1954. (In the magazine we do not need the irritating watermark!) What was a young Londoner doing near Keighley? Well he was practising outside his Dad's engineering works in Silsden, Yorkshire, where they had moved when he was nobbut a bairn! The beck is still there, indeed were it not for the NIMBY activities of newcomers, the youngster's son, John, would probably be tempted to nip across the beck with one of the Beta trials models that he imported. As his blunt father, Arthur Lampkin, seen above in his teens, has been heard to comment, "You can float a dead cow down the beck, full of disease, but you mustn't ride a clean bike through it. B----- Daft!" Also for the sake of accuracy, the illustrated feature explaining cost effective ways of improving the Villiers ignition reliability is published in issue 44.

In each issue of the digital magazine ORRe there are features entitled Photoserendipity releasing many photographs that have never previously been published. By popular request we have now added a secondary form of the feature, which we describe as 'themed' where readers can request the particular type of photograph they wish to see. In the next issue, number 45, the request is for Bultaco models and twenty or thirty photographs will be included all at least half page, but mostly full page and as often as possible from both timing and drive sides of the machines. None of the photographs are watermarked and subscribers can have free copies of any they like. Enjoy.

HELP................

Kevin had shingles. Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line? Here's what happened to Kevin Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had.... Kevin said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.. A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?' Kevin said, 'Outside on the truck. They are cedar shingles for roofing your new extension. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'

To demonstrate the state of political correctness a stoker was invited to the dinner party in the admirals home. During the meal the stoker said, "Pass the salt" When nobody appeared to notice, he repeated, "Pass the f***ing salt", Embarrassed the admiral's wife said, "Oh, I can see you're naval." "I don't care if you can see my bollox", the seaman replied, "Pass the f***ing salt............."

FACTS ....... are irrefutable. Be careful, be very careful. A wise person once said: 1. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realise that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes. 2. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS. 3. Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing between Fosters, Victoria Bitter, XXXX & Crown Lager. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available. AND 4. I haven't verified this on Google but it sounds legit. A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.