pa. Posted October 6, 2006 Report Share Posted October 6, 2006 Get home from trial, unpack trailor, bike in shed, wife asks where ive been, bed to sleep.Wake up, constitutionals, make wife breakfast in bed, off to work. Work "Monday morning seems to drag etc:" Home, get changed, down shed, back to house forgotten key to shed, wife says not spending enough time with her etc: etc: consol wife!!! Back down shed, pump up tyres, start bike (Scorpa175 starts first time!!) ride back to house. Hose wash bike, spray degreaser, wait 5mins, ask wife how long till dinner, she replys dinner in dog!!! Pressure wash bike, ride back to shed, oil chain (chain saw oil), leave running on milk crate, check nuts bolts etc: Switch off bike, back to house, wife locked herself in bedroon watching telly!!!!!!! Drive car to local corner shop, buy over priced anniversary card & flowers, drive home, book resturant on mobile, Get resturant to ring wife telling her the booking made last week is available earlyer if required. Wife leaves bedroom sees card on table, appoligises for shouting and repeats resturant message, act suprised. Put on best jeans, Tshirt off to resturant . Note to self: "Wifes birthday next Monday!!!" How did you get someone from McDonalds to make the call? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
austini Posted October 6, 2006 Report Share Posted October 6, 2006 Not McDonalds....... Chez Golden Arches I'll have you know!!!! Infact on our honeymoon on the Isle of Jersey 20 odd years ago, I told her that we were dining at Chez Golden Arches and she did get dressed up!!!! Be afraid, be very afraid PA she will be observing you at the Natioinals next week........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveo Posted October 6, 2006 Report Share Posted October 6, 2006 QUOTE(Austini @ Oct 6 2006, 10:16 AM) Get home from trial, unpack trailor, bike in shed, wife asks where ive been, bed to sleep. Wake up, constitutionals, make wife breakfast in bed, off to work. Work "Monday morning seems to drag etc:" Home, get changed, down shed, back to house forgotten key to shed, wife says not spending enough time with her etc: etc: consol wife!!! Back down shed, pump up tyres, start bike (Scorpa175 starts first time!!) ride back to house. Hose wash bike, spray degreaser, wait 5mins, ask wife how long till dinner, she replys dinner in dog!!! Pressure wash bike, ride back to shed, oil chain (chain saw oil), leave running on milk crate, check nuts bolts etc: Switch off bike, back to house, wife locked herself in bedroon watching telly!!!!!!! Drive car to local corner shop, buy over priced anniversary card & flowers, drive home, book resturant on mobile, Get resturant to ring wife telling her the booking made last week is available earlyer if required. Wife leaves bedroom sees card on table, appoligises for shouting and repeats resturant message, act suprised. Put on best jeans, Tshirt off to resturant . Note to self: "Wifes birthday next Monday!!!" Geez.....Austini looks like a high maintainence model you have there. See why you are a Scorpa man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alan bechard Posted October 6, 2006 Report Share Posted October 6, 2006 Oh god Austini,,,,, At least I am not the only one. Came home from a Hare Scrambles one day to an anniversary card on the table.... Dooohhhhhh,,,, Yep, that one is still not lived down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob214 Posted October 6, 2006 Report Share Posted October 6, 2006 knock on wood i havn't forgot the anneversary thing yet, but my question to any and who may need this in their defense but when did it become only her anniversary? it's both people's and shouldn't be a secret and a weapon to go ha ha got you you forgetfull slime ball. anyway i hope i never forget. plus her bday is on valetines day so i get plenty of warning with all the stores on the planet advertising. rob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ned1 Posted October 8, 2006 Report Share Posted October 8, 2006 Straight in the shed I.LL DO IT NEXT WEEK i think that every time mint!......so im not the only person that thinks this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sendero Posted October 8, 2006 Report Share Posted October 8, 2006 I bought a brand new CR250 in 94... made my wife co-sign for it... on my wife's birthday... that I forgot. I called her from the cycle shop and told her to "get down here and co-sign for this new bike". She agreed. When she got there all the guys were standin' around to see this, cuz they thought I was Male Chauvenist Pig King for tellin' her to "get down here and co-sign". She walks in, and sees all of us standing there by the new bike... there was dead silence and **** eatin' grins all around... She broke the deafening silence with "Is this the bike?" "Yup. Sign here, here and initial here." "Should I date it too?" "Yup." "Did you forget what day it is?" "Whaaaat?! What day it is?! It's Friday, now just date it." "It's my birthday, Johnny Moto, did you forget?" "Uhhhh... uuuhh..." The place erupted in histerical laughter. "Hey Sendero, ya want us to put the bike back in the showroom for ya? Bwa ha ha ha ha!!!" "Don't touch it! She'll sign!" "She's gonna have to, cuz you're dead! Dead guys don't buy motorcycles. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!" She signed. It was that day that I knew I was never getttin' out of this marriage alive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eiger Posted October 8, 2006 Report Share Posted October 8, 2006 Drive home from trial, after half an hour in car insert ear-plugs as had enough listening to 16yr old son taking me through every inch of every section of every lap along with gear choice etc etc Thirty miles from home (strange as venue only ten miles to get to) suddenly remember in-laws are coming for tea, stop at first pub for pint as it helps numb senses and suppress overwhelming desire to whack the Mother-in law over head with large heavy shovel Realise only got switch card, no cash left as paid for trial and petrol, root through glove box and find four pound coins and eighteen 20p pieces all encrusted in mouldy chocolate, cash is cash. Order one pint and a coke and bag of Walkers cheese and onion crisps for the boy, struggle to lip-read barman, say "pardon mate" five times before realising earplugs still in, remove earplugs just in time to hear barman scream; "THAT'LL BE FIVE QUID YOU DEAF T**T." Sit down drink pint whilst holding bag of crisps, squeezing bag each time the boy dips his hand in (well I did pay for them) return to bar risk half a pint and bag salt and vinegar after blaming boy for eating most of first bag. Leave pub, replacing ear-plugs, call at off-licence near home to purchase cheap beer for Father-in-law in order that I get the decent stuff to myself. Arrive home removing ear-plugs to hear the boy saying; "and on section seven on the second lap!!" See in-laws car outside and breath rapidly into brown paper bag for a few minutes before deciding to enter house Instuct boy to empty car, get bikes off trailer, lock up in garage etc, whilst I go in to get beer and shower as its only fair that he should repay me in some way for taking him to trial, boy reminds me of pub visit and does Mum know, I remind boy of feeling of intense and sudden pain, boy promises to keep quiet Enter house, quickly remove decent cans of beer from fridge replacing them with Aldi pale ale at 1.9% ABV, run upstairs with good beer shouting "Hello be down after quick shower" into front room as passing. Cough very loudly in time to disguise noise of ring pull on can breaking seal, hear wife shout,"NO BEER ALLOWED IN THE BATHROOM", start thinking of heavy shovels again. Drink beer quickly to avoid possibility of confiscation, shower, dress, greet in-laws and wife, boy enters room bang on time to be centre of attention. Refuse to let him go for shower until in-laws have gone, grit teeth to sound of, "motorbikes are so dangerous why can't you take up another hobby." Pick up Machine Mart catalogue, peruse 'building' section concentrating on stainless steel shovels, make plans to measure patio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barrybaines Posted October 8, 2006 Report Share Posted October 8, 2006 very very funny but best bit is I could picture it all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirhc Posted October 12, 2006 Report Share Posted October 12, 2006 (edited) I found the first post very funny, so what does fag mean over there? Maybe I don't want to know it makes a much better story if I don't know Edited October 12, 2006 by sirhc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted October 12, 2006 Report Share Posted October 12, 2006 sirhc, I wont say but it has nothing to do with lifting shirts, if you know what I mean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fordson major Posted October 12, 2006 Report Share Posted October 12, 2006 (edited) Drive home from trial, after half an hour in car insert ear-plugs as had enough listening to 16yr old son taking me through every inch of every section of every lap along with gear choice etc etc Thirty miles from home (strange as venue only ten miles to get to) suddenly remember in-laws are coming for tea, stop at first pub for pint as it helps numb senses and suppress overwhelming desire to whack the Mother-in law over head with large heavy shovel Realise only got switch card, no cash left as paid for trial and petrol, root through glove box and find four pound coins and eighteen 20p pieces all encrusted in mouldy chocolate, cash is cash. Order one pint and a coke and bag of Walkers cheese and onion crisps for the boy, struggle to lip-read barman, say "pardon mate" five times before realising earplugs still in, remove earplugs just in time to hear barman scream; "THAT'LL BE FIVE QUID YOU DEAF T**T." Sit down drink pint whilst holding bag of crisps, squeezing bag each time the boy dips his hand in (well I did pay for them) return to bar risk half a pint and bag salt and vinegar after blaming boy for eating most of first bag. Leave pub, replacing ear-plugs, call at off-licence near home to purchase cheap beer for Father-in-law in order that I get the decent stuff to myself. Arrive home removing ear-plugs to hear the boy saying; "and on section seven on the second lap!!" See in-laws car outside and breath rapidly into brown paper bag for a few minutes before deciding to enter house Instuct boy to empty car, get bikes off trailer, lock up in garage etc, whilst I go in to get beer and shower as its only fair that he should repay me in some way for taking him to trial, boy reminds me of pub visit and does Mum know, I remind boy of feeling of intense and sudden pain, boy promises to keep quiet Enter house, quickly remove decent cans of beer from fridge replacing them with Aldi pale ale at 1.9% ABV, run upstairs with good beer shouting "Hello be down after quick shower" into front room as passing. Cough very loudly in time to disguise noise of ring pull on can breaking seal, hear wife shout,"NO BEER ALLOWED IN THE BATHROOM", start thinking of heavy shovels again. Drink beer quickly to avoid possibility of confiscation, shower, dress, greet in-laws and wife, boy enters room bang on time to be centre of attention. Refuse to let him go for shower until in-laws have gone, grit teeth to sound of, "motorbikes are so dangerous why can't you take up another hobby." Pick up Machine Mart catalogue, peruse 'building' section concentrating on stainless steel shovels, make plans to measure patio Don't worry you're not alone, sounds just like me and my Dad on the way home from a trial Edited October 12, 2006 by Beta120690 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirhc Posted October 12, 2006 Report Share Posted October 12, 2006 (edited) Betarev3 Posted Today, 01:16 PM sirhc, I wont say but it has nothing to do with lifting shirts, if you know what I mean Lifting shirts? I'm sorry I just don't get it Here in the good old U.S.A. fag is a not very nice way of saying a gay guy. So the part where he" carefully had a fag" made it sound like he was in San Fransisco. (that is like the gay capitol of the U.S. for those that don't know) SO WHAT DID HE MEAN BY FAG IN HIS STORY? Edited October 12, 2006 by sirhc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted October 12, 2006 Report Share Posted October 12, 2006 sirhc, errrrrrrr best kill this one off before it gets into too much detail mate, Fag is cigarette here, lifting shirts is what you said Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axulsuv Posted October 20, 2006 Report Share Posted October 20, 2006 EIGER the truth is great , been there all through the inlaws at MY HOME waiting on me .... Glenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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