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Kenny The Rooster - Contains Adult Humour

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  • First woman on the Moon: "Houston, we have a problem." Houston: "What?" FWOTM: "Never mind" Houston: "What's the problem?" FWOTM: "Nothing" Houston: "Please tell us" FWOTM: "You know what the problem

  • the addict
    the addict

    My next door neighbour just confronted me about missing items from her washing line. I nearly **** her pants.

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Sensitivity............................... B)

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners.

The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women

how to breathe and was telling the men how to give the necessary

assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you.

Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will

make delivery that much easier." Just make several stops and stay on a soft

surface like grass or a path.

She looked at the men in the room, "and Gentlemen, remember you're in this

together It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her.

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

"Yes, answered the Instructor.

"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag

while we walk??

This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught.

What's the difference between David Haye and wor lass?

When wor lass talks shee-ite she gets a belt !

(Whilst re-enforcing regional,wife-beating stereo-types,no spouses were actually harmed during the making of this joke)

A man texts his wife : ''Honey I'm just having one more pint and I'll be home...If I'm not home in 20 minutes just read this text again''. :beer:

A man texts his wife : ''Honey I'm just having one more pint and I'll be home...If I'm not home in 20 minutes just read this text again''. :beer:

As his buddy calls and explains to his wife "Honest Darling I have only had one glass of beer all night......" at this point he turns to his buddy and says "they just keep refilling the same glass over and over. HAHA"

Quite possibly posted before but I am too lazy to look:

Boy catches mom riding dad. Mom says she's trying to flatten dads

belly. Boy says it's no use, the babysitter gets on her knees and

blows it back up again!

Q. If your wife is yelling at the front door and your dog is barking

at the back door, Whom do you let in?

A. The dog. Why? Because once inside, the dog stops barking.

  • 2 weeks later...

The vice squad raided Kermitt's lilly-pad today .They took away hundreds of naked photos and videos of Miss Piggy .A police spokesman said it was the largest ever quantity of frogs-porn!

The vice squad raided Kermitt's lilly-pad today .They took away hundreds of naked photos and videos of Miss Piggy .A police spokesman said it was the largest ever quantity of frogs-porn!

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