May 31, 201115 yr 40 Pikies/travellers/gypsies arrived at Heavens Gates. St.Peter said " We've only got room for 12 of you so decide amongst yourselves who's coming in"... Five minutes later St Peter says to God,"They've gone!" God says, What, all 40 of them ! .. St.Peter says, "No, the f***ing gates" -------------------------------------- Ive just spent 3 hours in accident and emergency. Turns out the Dyson Ball Cleaner isn't what I expected! Edited May 31, 201115 yr by AtomAnt
June 1, 201115 yr A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about time we started swearing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval, so the 7 year old says, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?' 'Ok' the 4 year old, agrees with enthusiasm.. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast. 'Oh, **** mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Coco Pops' WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, ' And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?' 'I don't know,' he blubbers, 'but it won't be ******* Coco Pops'
June 4, 201115 yr Author Great to see you've all been posting and keeping the thread going, should have some good uns shortly
June 16, 201115 yr As my puter in shed took a dump, I drug out the waptop, seldome used. Found stupid crap which I should not admit, but after the fact it is rather funny! This is what happens when set in a room after a trial, far from home, and the interweb does not function there, so no TC. You got a new toy n play'n with it. Started off looking for Percy, and his sheep!
June 16, 201115 yr I 5h4gged my best mates wife last night and now I feel awful.... ....I think she must have had the flu?
June 17, 201115 yr Oh! Another picture of Copey ! Yea, man! I gotta PM you this one for Julie!!! Friggin HUGE!!! Well, except for the middle :(
June 18, 201115 yr My mates sister is a dyke, she went to one of those 48hr lesbo orgies at the weekend. She was rushed into hospital with a suspected crack overdose Edited June 18, 201115 yr by HAM2
June 19, 201115 yr The Sneeze A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane.. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the manwas still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?" "I am sorry if I disturbed you, I havea very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm." The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?" The woman nodded, "Pepper."
June 22, 201115 yr How True? My ex wifes Indian name was ''Four Horses'' . . . Nag Nag Nag Nag That was damn funny, but cost me a punch to my arm when I showed Mrs. Zippy. Well worth the price for the laugh.
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