the addict

lol, should have said Gizza or Donald instead of Steve.

An Irish Mother’s Letter Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive. I am writing this slowly because I know that you can’t read very fast. You won’t know the house when you come home. We’ve moved. About your father, he has got a lovely new job. He has 500 men under him. He cuts grass at the cemetery. Your sister Mary had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out yet if it’s a boy or a girl, so I don’t know if your an aunt or an uncle. I went to the docto...rs on Thursday and your father came with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for 10 minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him. Your uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of Irish whiskey at the Dublin brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took 3 days to put the fire out. It only rained twice this week, first for 3 days and then for 4 days. We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last payment on your grandmother’s plot wasn’t paid in 7 days, up she comes. Your loving Mother, P.S. I was going to send you 5 euros, but I have already sealed the envelope."

Three guys were sitting in a biker bar. A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table. He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face and said, "I went by your grandma's house and I saw her in the hallway, buck naked. Man, she is fine!" The biker looked at him and didn't say a word. His buddies were confused,because he was a bad ass, and would fight a...t he drop of a hat. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker still said nothing. His buddies were starting to get mad. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I'll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it!" The biker stood up, took the drunk by the shoulder and said, "Damn it, Grandpa, you're drunk! ffs Go home!"

Push down the rear suspension whilst pulling and leaning back and let some of the clutch out under load. There's no need to pop the clutch completely depending on what you're trying to lift over. The whole movement can be quite subtle with timing and practice, it's surprising how light you can make the front end just by body movements so a power/clutch input can be quite soft. You'll need to use the back brake to bring the front down in some circumstances but not always and it would be the favoured way to control the lift if you need to stop quickly or bring the front down.

Yes it is I suppose but that is incredibly low. I couldn't keep an IRC on my rims no matter what I tried.

If you've got Morad rims then that IRC might come off.

9/46? you might want to check if the trial has a finish time. Best of luck though, that gearing is incredibly low if correct?

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson retire early to bed for a quickie. Watson obligingly bends over the bed and Holmes starts spreading Lemon Curd over Watson's a***. "Holmes, what on earth are you doing back there?", Holmes replies, "Lemon Entry, my dear Watson, Lemon Entry!!..

Or the Scott

Give it four years of normal riding, should be just about run in then.

Well it is Valentines day tomorrow. Bought the wife a dozen red roses, she said "I suppose I'll have to open me legs for them now"............ I said.................................haven't you got a vase?

My wife came into my shed complaining about my inventions that she said never work anyway. It was at this point that the Slap-a-**** 3000 GTI automatic proved her wrong

I was in Tesco recently, when I bumped into this woman I'd started dating: "Ooii, I thought you told me you were in the Red Arrows" she said..?? "No I didn't" I said, as I arranged the Washing Powder, "I told you I was in the Ariel display team."

Stick with it and you will be rewarded. As above, probably 6 months so don't sell it before then if you struggle to adapt at first. I've had a rare outing to the shed this evening for vital 4rt maintenance, polishing the dog bone, well? gives the tools something to do and keeps the dust off them.

I took my son out for his first pint. Got him a Fosters. He didn't like it - I had it. Then I got him Carlsberg, he didn't like it, I had it. It was thesame with Guinness and Cider. By the time we got down to the whisky I could hardly push his ****ing pram...

A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them! They named him Ravi O' Lee

Some of it is inflation based and wage stagnation/reduction making the figures seem higher. Entry fees rise with inflation, wages don't, the reason may be as easy as that, and not forgetting H&S and higher insurances/claims, the culture of blame.

Volvic water is best.

My dwarf girlfriend went to work this morning upset with me, because I've been taking the p*** out of her size. So I'm going all out to make it up to her tonight. I've got a good bottle of wine in the fridge and bought her the latest dvd box set of her favourite programme. When she gets in from work I'm going to order her favourite takeaway for her tea, then go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink.