the addict

I was at the pool today and tried for a sneaky p*** at the deep end. The lifeguard must have seen me. He blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

Went to the docs other day with hearing problems, he said 'can you describe the symptoms'. I said 'homers a fat bloke and Marg has blue hair'

Get one and bin the pipe work, far easier with fills.

I never had any issue's with a H&D bashplate, far superior to the original and I think they are a little longer as well.

My next door neighbour just confronted me about missing items from her washing line. I nearly **** her pants.

One method I've used in the past is to buy matching bolts but an inch or so longer. It allows plenty of room to locate the plate holes to the frame and when wound in remove one at a time and fit the originals. You have to make sure you have enough room for the extra length of bolt though to miss the engine whilst winding it up but this used to work really well on my previous Rev3's. I have also used the ratchet strap method in the past as well as valium and the Samaritans.

My daughter asked, "I hope you're going to shave off that stupid moustache before we go on holiday? It's embarrassing. " I was stunned. Bravest thing I've ever heard anyone say to the wife.......

pmsl, nicking that un for elsewhere ha

Your not bashing rocks hard enough mate

Are you sure your frame wasn't bent itself and that's why the bolt holes didn't line up? I know from past experience as will most that when you take a sump guard off chances are you'll need a big ratchet strap or something similar to get it back on again.

Bernard Manning

Paddys' wife was ready to give birth so he rushes her to hospital. On arrival the nurse asks "How dilated is she?" To which paddy relies,"Oh Jaysus we're both over the ****ing moon!!.

Nope, the 4rt snail cam bolts can be moved to take up or add chain lengths, 9/41/42 is good and you can still use 1st for pretty much everything even biggish hills.

Sure you didn't get any water in the petrol tank or carby? might be worth flushing the tank and carb out and put new fuel through.

Ethanol for all it's faults is attempting to push back the date when we have to really think hard about using oil as a fuel. Ethanol will never replace oil unless we all fancy starving to death and as far as I can work out, ethanol is virtually 1 energy in to produce 1 energy out, not a great economic plan. I always used Avgas in my Beta's, mixed 50/50 with high octane petrol, bikes ran sweet.

We've seen over 30% inflation in just the past 10 years, an entry fee of £10 in 2006 needs to be at least £13 today just to keep up with inflation, go another 10 years and it needs to be near the £18 mark. If you do not keep in line with inflation on your sales then you will soon find yourself seriously out of pocket quite quickly.

TC forum users, please do not ask any questions anymore about bike maintenance in the future, simply refer to your bikes owners manual.

Dadof2, if you'd like to do some investigating please go directly to the accounts department at the EU Commission in Brussels and see if you can sign off their accounts for the past twenty years please as they've failed to do so in that time.

Very well said and exactly as it is, I have no interest at all where or what the money is spent on as I know the effort put in (free) and the enjoyment I will gain.

Years of tried and tested experience mate and no bias to oil companies. I always found Dexron III better than anything else in my Beta's regardless of what the book said. The fact it's cheap was a bonus not the reason for using it, and as it's cheap it can be changed very regularly. Many companies have financial ties with other companies, not much point if you state in the handbook use whatever you find works best for the bike.

6K bike, 200 quid helmet 200 quid boots........................................."A tenner entry fee ffs"!!!!!!!!!! rip off, call Interpol now someone's up to no good.

I've got to say that Trials is the cheapest bike sport I've ever done by a country mile. These are hard working unpaid volunteer's, why do they have to justify what they do to the likes us for our own pleasure? National entry fees are cheap at twice the price in my book considering what you get and the massive effort put in by all concerned.