the addict

Late one Friday night a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. "Aye, so I have 'tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was something called "Happy Hour" and they served these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five o' those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and o' course I... had to go in for a couple of Guinnesses -- couldn't be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later..." And the man fumbled around in his coat until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection. The officer sighed, and said, "Sir, I'm afraid I'll need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyser test." Indignantly, the man said, "Why? Don't ye believe me?"

I think my best mate is having an affair with my wife . He's been a right miserable ******* lately!!..

lol, although officer Ham2 will pick you up for that one mate.

Lol, pinching that one

I can see the point of complaining about say Council tax costs, tv licence, interest rates and so on as these are things we have no choice but to pay, but to be given a choice of "pay or not" surely the choice is your own?

Trials like many other past times/hobbies is a choice, it's not forced upon you to compete or take part. You know the costs before hand so not much point in complaining after the fact. Generally kids memberships are cheaper as are entry fees. The entry fee is possibly one of the cheapest parts of the sport you will have to pay for.

I don't think anyone is saying they have surplus money, but from my experience in bike sport of all kinds, Trials is by far the cheapest discipline. I've been to trials over the past years that may only have a turn out of 20 riders, how does the club allow for costs with such low numbers as possibly insurance alone is a fixed price per trial, it could leave clubs at a loss at some events.

UK Inflation from 1975 to 2015 has been approximately 830%, so a £1 entry fee in 1975 should be around £8.30 today. This of course does not allow for any variations the clubs now take on re extra Insurances and so on. I'm still baffled how you think £10 - £20 is a lot for an entry fee for a motorsport discipline?

Great social sport Andy, loads of friendly people and it's all great fun, cheap as well, welcome aboard.

I heard about this last year, funnily enough I was telling a mate about it last Thursday, clever, and as you have said, vital, I think it helps push blood around especially back to the brain.

Clubs need people to run them and people move on. I used to do loads of Dudley trials years ago along with the Bewdley Club, Gloucester is a good place to be for lots of trials.

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman went for a round of golf and their wives went along as caddies. Whilst walking around the course the Englishman's wife caught her foot in a rabbit hole, tripped up, and landed in a heap on the ground with her skirt over her head, revealing that she wasn't wearing any knickers! The Englishman stormed over and angrily demanded a reason for her state of undress. "Well darling, " she explained "you give me so little allowance that I have to ma...ke the odd sacrifice, usually no one notices." With that the Englishman thrust his hand into his pocket and said, "Here's a tenner, go to Mark's and Spencer's and get some knickers. Two holes further on the Irishman's wife caught her foot on a mole hill, tripped up, and landed in a heap on the ground with her skirt over her head, revealing that she wasn't wearing any knickers either! The Irishman stormed over and angrily demanded a reason for her lack of nether garments. "Well darling," she explained "you give me so little allowance that I have to make the odd sacrifice, usually no one notices." With that the Irishman thrust his hand into his pocket and said, "Here's a fiver go to Woolworth's and get some knickers." Three holes further on the Scotsman's wife caught her foot on an exposed root, tripped up, and landed in a heap on the ground with her skirt over her head, revealing that she too wasn't wearing any knickers! The Scotsman stormed over and angrily demanded a reason for her inadequacy in the modesty department. "Well darling," she explained, "you give me so little allowance that I have to make the odd sacrifice, usually no one notices." With that the Scotsman thrust his hand into his pocket and said "Here's a comb, at least you can tidy yourself up a bit!"..

As I was climbing into the new bed I bought us, my wife snarled at me and turned the other way. I think she's just jealous I got the top bunk.

A family is driving behind an Ann Summers delivery lorry when a large dildo flies out & hits their windscreen. To hide her embarrassment the mother says to the children "That was a big insect". To which the 7 year old son replies "I'm surprised it could fly with a c**k that size!

A teacher at West Australian High School reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam. "Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-a***d teenager at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual e...xhaustion?" The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I would expect you to write the exam with your other hand.".

Beautiful bikes lads, wasted on me though, I'd soon take the shine and value off them all in Wales.

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine." His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine." Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.

I ordered a Thai prostitute last night and she turned up 2 hours late. She loved me wrong time.

When my wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. "And then I saw her face!"

I bought a couple of magnetic hooks for my van off Ebay, works a treat.