Anything goes

What Starts with F and ends with K? A first-grade teacher, Mrs. Robin Graber, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!" Mrs. Graber had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Mrs. Graber he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harr…

This is a bit long but i had the time too read through it and would say it`s worth the effort.... REST OF THE WORLD VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies from the cold. THE END -------------------------------------------- THE BRITISH VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. …

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right - all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time." Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He…

Norton starts to give dire warnings it's about to explode because my subscribtion is about to expire so, whith some reluctance and against my better judgement, I update Norton via the web. On completion I reboot as per instructions. Outlook goes south and I can't fire activate Norton. So I phone the helpdesk, some pratt in India asks for my NAME and he can barely speak english. To add salt to the wound he's useless. This isn't my first run in with Norton. I should have learned the first time. The whole things leagalised extortion!

YOUR E-MAIL ID HAS WON $500.000.00 WINNING NOTIFICATION FROM: THE LOTTERY COORDINATOR, INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT Dear Winner, RESULTS FOR CATEGORY "A" DRAWS Congratulations to you as we bring to your notice, the results of the First Category draws of SPONSOR LOTERIJ AMSTERDAM. We are happy to inform you that you have emerged a winner under the First Category, which is part of our promotional draws. The draws were held today the 2nd of October 2006 Participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 2,500,000 names/email addresses of individuals and companies from Africa,America, Asia,Australia,Europe,Middle East, a…

Anousheh Ansari space explorer First Iranian and First Muslim Woman in space Way to go girl! Excellence of the highest calibre!!!! My woman is also an Iranian Muslim, so been very busy with big celebrations on this. That's why I haven't been around here too much lately stirring up havoc! Yee Haw!

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One of my favourite motoring Journalist's injured doing what he loved. Get well soon Hamster!!

Evening all, After reading Andys little sausage TALE i thought i would post this little jem from about 7-10 years ago. About 8 of us were doing a road base national and we were having a laugh and a lot of 5 when i past one lad that we got hammerd with the night before. As i past him we were on a road i shouted a few words his way he replyed with a torrent thrown back all in foreign. A few mins later this Beta came past me on the back wheel flat out and the rider with his a*** out, trousers and pants just below his knees and above just above his boots shouting kiss my a*** Ralphy. I was in stitches as he went around the bend out of view. As i went around the bend i w…

Check her out dude ....... BIG back wheel hop ... and time for a superman (FMX styleee) My Webpage

Take a look at this ......and I am man in enough to say it made me choke Truely Inspiational

YARR! Ye best all be aware o'this or there be trouble a brewin'!

Does any body else ever get this with their recycle bin? I get it allll the time, the icon says there's an item, so you check, and there isn't, so you click empty and it gives me that message. What's with that ?

More tales from the travels of Andy. This time moderately amusing. I had no flight hassles. It was Jake's turn this trip When I

Four days after the untimely death of Steve Irwin it has become increasingly clear how much this man has contributed to our wildlife conservation and the respect he has generated right around the world. In Australia we have a young generation of childen that have seen him as the real Crocadile Man and judging by the tributes being shown since his passing,children wordwide are huge fans of his colourful conservation documentaries. I was with my daughter tonight and she told me of her cousins five year old childs acceptance to the death of Steve. It went something like this, My daughter has just been talking with her cousin up at Mooloolabah,which is not far from Steves…

Seen this one and could not resist a laugh! We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below. "GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?" "BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!" We hope this clears up any confusion. The International Council of Manhoo…

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Some of you parents out there will have teenage children who can drive or are learning to drive and I'm posting to see if anyone knows of insurance companies who specialise in young drivers. I've recently added my 17 year old son to my own car policy as a learner (taken my

Although a committed Middlesbrough fan. (interestlingly enough MFC played more games than any other top flight club last season) I cannot see anyone taking the title from Chelsea. The battle for runner up spot and who gets relegated are more interesting. As for Boro, A UEFA cup place at the end of the season would be brilliant and a trip to Wembley fantastic. Thats if Multiplex get it finished.