the addict

Police pulls over Paddy for speeding "have you been drinking Sir?" Paddy replies "yes officer i've had about 18 pints, 2 bottles of hooch and 6 bacardi and cokes." Police says "what the hell are you doing driving ??"... Paddy replies "I couldn't ****in walk''

Dr. Sunter lol.

Plates are correct lads thanks, in my case the lowering of the ride height seems to be directly proportional to me quitting smoking six months ago on the same day I got the bike, the longer I keep off the tabs the closer the bike seems to get to the ground.

****ers

Ride height is wrong I'd of thought, I'm having this problem so I'm thinking of getting a stiffer spring for my ever increasing 14 stone frame.

One for the oil baron A Muslim has been caught Shagging a sheep in Wales . When questioned he said it was islamb and could do what he ****ing liked...

I can't believe how strong the Winds were last night. I nipped out to get my wife some milk and got blown into the ****ing pub.

1100 is way too much

Based on statistics,the most common sexual position amongst married couples,is doggy style...This is where the husband sits and begs,while the wife rolls over and plays dead!!

just been watching the ladies beach volleyball today,and there has already been a bad wrist injury...The doctor says i should be ok by the morning though!

My wife just asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive...Apparently the response of,"Dont worry babe,your tits cover it" wasn't the answer she was looking for!

I'd check nothing is loose to start with, if its only on tickover it could be something not fastened properly. If you cant find anything I'd be on the phone to the dealer asap considering how new it is and hours completed.

Having good sales has little to do with profit if your sale price is less than your cost price which I assume GasGas has been doing for years now.

I've got to be honest I cant ever remember actually breaking one in over twenty odd years and I've had some offs in that time. Bent a couple but most damage is chain adjusters, gear lever, pegs and bars, bar ends are a good investment as well.

Scientists have revealed that sperm helps hair grow, which has got me wondering about my nan's moustache.

I'd like to think no news is good news.

I turned into a cat earlier. Don't ask meow..

A very fat man saw an ad: "lose 5kg in a week" in a newspaper. He calls the company & lady says be ready tomorrow at 6am. The next morning he opens the door & finds a hot babe with just shoes, undergarments & shirt saying: "You catch me you **** me!" & the girl starts running.... He starts running but doesn't catch her. During the whole week he tried to catch her but couldn't. However he loses 5 kg. He then asks for the 10kg program. Next morning at 6 he opens the door and sees an even hotter babe in shoes, thong & a shirt saying: "You catch me you **** me". He loses 10 kg that week. So he thought this program is awesome! Lets try the 25 kg! So he asked for the 25 kg but the lady said "Are you sure? its really tough!". he said "YES!" Next day at 6 he opens the door, he finds a big black gay man in just underwear saying.. "If I catch you, I will **** you.."

A lady walks into a BMW dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line Beemer and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber... and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady With, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to **** yourself when I tell you the price."

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me 'Oi, what's your disability mate?' I said 'Tourettes, you ******, now **** off!'

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment had been to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship. Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success." "Very good," said the teacher. Little Mary was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained ...to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events." "Very good, Mary," said the teacher. Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath... Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467" he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?" "I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample." They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog ****!" Then I would say, "It is dog ****. Wanna buy a toothbrush?" "I used the government approach of giving you something ****ty for free, and then making you pay to get the taste out of your mouth.

Cinderella you shall go to the ball said the Fairy Godmother. You must be back by midnight though or your fanny will turn into a pumpkin. Cinderella went to the ball and spent most of the evening dancing with a very tall, dark handsome Prince, she whispered in his ear, “what is your name my prince” he replied “why I’m Prince Peter the Pumpkin eater” what time do have to go home?................... 3.15 replied Cinderella.

Done the Jack Wood a few times, nice steady day from what I remember brilliant video, thanks for posting it.

Girlfriend sends a text to her boyfriend.....If you are sleeping send me your dreams!....If you are laughing send me your smile!....If you are crying send me your tear drops!..He replies:I am having a ****,what do i do?