the addict

Never had a Techno but I know the Revs like Dexron111 ATF in them, cheap as well but change it regular. There are plenty of Beta experts on here so won't be long till someone tells you chap, good luck with the bike and the sport, its great fun

Is this it?

I think the first rev3's were 2000/2001 ish, stick a pic up of the beast and we'll see what it actually is?

Pakistani man on his death bed. "Sanjita,my wife, are you here?" "Yes,my husband" "My sons and daughter, are you both here?" "Yes, papa we are here" "My nephews and nieces, are you all here" "Yes we are all here" "Cousins, are you all here" "Yes we are all here" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Then who's manning the f*****g shop?"

Sure its a 1998 Rev3?????

Woman in Asda notices a young assistant. He has such a cute a*** it makes her randy! She asks him to carry her shopping to her car. On the way back she can't hold back any more and says "I've got an itchypussy". He says "You'll have to point it out love,all these ****ing Japanese cars look the same to me!".

over 8000 hits in less than 3 hours, emailing him now for a link to my website

Cracking find Pete, I've just posted on the Road Race site lol, they'll love that 23,000 hits so far, must be doing the rounds on the forums

I've had my raptors years now, never get bent and still look pretty much like new, they've had some real big bashes over the years and have paid for themselves easily

I'll have to have a go Sunday, cant remember to be honest, you have to use the clutch alot, helps bring the power in easier

The panic point is where you need to be, you can go further back than that before it tips on its a***, get used to being there and gently use the brake to bring it back down a little. As I said, it takes alot of practice and alot of stepping off the back, if the front wheel comes down very quick then youve jabbed to much brake, try less next time till it floats down a little and becomes easy to relift with a slight throttle increase

Doing good long wheelies takes hours and hours of practice, I'm pretty good at them at speed and very slow in first gear, practiced and practiced years ago with not much progress and suddenly one day it clicked, you may find this. Back brake is really important to stop you looping out as well as the clutch, you have to lean back way more than you are comfy with at first and there is quite a narrow area you have to keep the bike in to wheelie well. To far forward and you have to use alot of throttle to bring the bike up, too far back and you have to use the brake or clutch to harshly and the front dives. Practice is everything with this, I learnt mainly in second and third, use the clutch to control power not just the throttle and back brake when your about to go back to far, really good speed wheelies use a really steady thottle and control back and forward with the clutch and brake

Apple will be releasing a new gadget exclusively for women later this year. It's called the . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . iRon.

Direct Debit mandate in post this morning Ian and I'll call Halfords this afternoon to make sure theyre stocked up with tools for the Gasser

lol, yer plenty as you know, do that gearing on a 2 stroke and youd be pulling 5th everywhere, the 4rt has very long gears and can easy cope with down gearing like this but you have to use the revs more. 3rd gear on the mont is massive and plenty even with 9/43

The shot gun alarm things are good, as said above not sure if they are legal though. I wired up an electric fence energizor to the handle of my shed when I was nearly bust into, nice 8000volt shock to anyone who touched it , but I removed it shortly after as I bloody new I'd forget most days. i,ve got two alarms, one mortice lock and three heavy duty hasp and staple locks now, be 10 times easier to break into the house.

Ian, give me a call mate,

I run 9/43 and have done for two years now, allows you to leave the clutch alone on the tight stuff and I've never been wanting on any hill so far just rev her abit more.

I,ve had dealings with BVM since I was 12 years old, good 20 years now deliveries are next day even if you ring in the afternoon, always bend over backwards to help and a great bunch of people working there.

The Mayonnaise Jar When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, When 24 hours in a day is not enough; remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and start to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded With an unanimous 'yes.' The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. 'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - , family, children, health, friends, and bikes. Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else... The small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for the things that are important to you. So... Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Ride your Trials bike There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. 'Take care of the golf balls first... The things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.' One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked'. 'It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Chris decided to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland Chris consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of good quality gloves would strike the right note... not too romantic and not too personal. Off he went with his sister to Harrods and they selected a dainty pair of fur lined quality leather gloves. His sister bought a pair of sexy knickers for herself at the same time. Harrods had a free gift wrap offer but the assistant mixed up the two items, the sister got the gloves and Chris unknowingly got the knickers. Good old Chris sent off his gift wrapped present in a parcel with the following letter... Dear Maggie, I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones (which are easier to remove). These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and I hardly noticed any marks. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that they rub against her ring which helps keep it clean. In fact she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing them. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing. Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on our next date. All my love, Chris P.S. My mum tells me that the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur showing.

Police Complaint Letter This is apparantly a genuine complaint to Strandtown Police Station from an angry member of the public A true email sent to the Service, lengthy but brilliantly written..... ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------- Dear Sir/Madam/Automated telephone answering service, Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Strandtown police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and try e-mailing you instead. Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your colleagues in Strandtown, by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or Ouija board. As I'm writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I think you call them youths) in Parkgate Crescent, which is just off Mersey Street Belfast. Six of them seem happy enough to play a game which involves kicking a football against an iron gate with the force of a meteorite. This causes an earth shattering CLANG! Which rings throughout the entire building. This game is now in its third week and as I am unsure how the scoring system works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon. The remaining five failed-abortions are happily rummaging through several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins. One of them has found a saw and is setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on ecstasy pills. I fear that it's only a matter of time before they turn their limited attention to the caravan gas bottle that is lying on its side between the two bins. If they could be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it. In fact, I would even go so far as to lend them the matches. Unfortunately they are far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I've just finished decorating the kitchen. What I suggest is this - after replying to this e-mail with worthless assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath night) when there are no mutants around then drive up the street in a Police car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again.. This will of course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like. I trust that when I take a claw hammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you'll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month head start before coming to arrest me. I remain your obedient servant Mr ??????, ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------ I have read your e-mail and understand your frustration at the problems caused by youths playing in the area and the problems you have encountered in trying to contact the police. As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an offer of discussing the matter fully with you. Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details (address / telephone number) and when may be suitable. Regards PC ??????? Community Beat Officer ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------- Dear PC ??????? First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my e-mail. 16 hours and 38 minutes must be a personal record for Strandtown Police Station, and rest assured that I will forward these details to Norris McWhirter for inclusion in his next Guinness book. Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has its own Community Beat Officer. May I be the first to congratulate you on your covert skills? In the five or so years I have lived in Parkgate Crescent , I have never seen you. Do you hide up a tree or have you gone deep undercover and infiltrated the gang itself? Are you the one with the acne and the moustache on his forehead or the one with a chin like a wash hand basin? It's surely only a matter of time before you are head-hunted by MI5 to look for Osama. Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place in Belfast, such as smoking in a public place or being Christian without due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman to explain (using words of no more than two syllables at a time) to these twats that they might want to play their strange football game elsewhere. The pitch on Hollywood Road , or the one at Victoria Park are both within spitting distance as is the bottom of the Pollock Dock, the latter being the preferred option especially if the tide is in. Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free to contact me on . If after 25 minutes I have still failed to answer, I'll buy you a large one in the Great Eastern Pub. Regards ?????????

This was actually taken from a passport application and a member of staff copied it, as it made her laugh all day. Subject: Passport Application Dear Minister, I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through. How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date? How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet you still want me to remind you of my last three jo bs, two of which were with contractors working for the government? How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good time. Do you people do this by hand? You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the one with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years. It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete, by law, every time our lords and masters are up for re-election. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in Maidenhead on the 4th of March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die! I apologise Minister. I'm obviously not myself this morning. But between you and me, I have simply had enough! You mail the application to my house, then you ask me for my address. What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthals working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to activate the Fifth Reich for God's sake! I just want to go and park my weary backside on a sunny, sandy beach for a couple of week's well-earned rest away from all this crap. Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to back to Salisbury and get another copy of my birth certificate because you lost the last one. AND to the tune of 60 quid! What a racket THAT is!! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some tosser to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know... the one where we're not allowed to smile in in case we look as if we are en jo ying the process! Hey, you know why we can't smile? 'Cause we're totally jacked off! I served in the armed forces for more than 25 years including over ten years at the Ministry of Defence in London. I have had security clearances which allowed me to sit in the Cabinet Office, five seats away from the Prime Minister while he was being briefed on the first Gulf War and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross ever since I left the Services. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am -- you know, someone like my doctor... who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN PAKISTAN... Yours sincerely, An Irate British Citizen.