the addict

Blow them on dry with an air line, real quick, lockwire them on after

A man in rural Wisconsin wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages, and sure enough, there's an ad for "Up North Bear Removers." He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a 12-guage shotgun, and a mean old pit bull. "What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks. "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there, and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. "When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles, and not let go. "The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van." He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner. "If the bear knocks me off the roof, you shoot the dog."

Donald, Forfar was a no goer mate, advertised with a V5 and turned out to have no V5 or frame numbers and a **** to start else we would have popped in and eaten you out of house and home. Thanks for the replies guys, one of Tims thoughts and mine after he mentioned it was Nibbo clipped his back tyre as he cut infront going into the left hander. Tim would dearly like to know what happened as he has no idea? we did have a tyre pressure problem on one of the rears in qually so may have been a deflate? and as Jordi says thats pretty much the first real left hander on the first lap although Tim is not known for lobbing on a cold tyre. I'm going to try and enhance the video so I can rule out a big highside, it looks like he may have been clipped or even lost the front, a rear tyre slide that big is highly unlikely in that corner.

Stoner is going to be very very hard to beat next year on the Honda, I'll tip him again for 2011. Next year is going to be a great year with Spies/simoncelli/pedro/rossi and lozza, I hope Elias gets to grips early on as he's been mega in Moto2 this year.

Here's an on board clip of bro's crash in September, I've watched it about 20 times now on full screen 480p res, anyone got any ideas what they think happened? I have my ideas First reports were a big highside, the crash is far from a high side though on looking at it now. Tim is lined up third on the grid, far right with a small orange triangle on his back, second place going into the crash

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store & thought, "That's what I need - a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve & 16-1/2 neck." Again, Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see ... 9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed. "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.

The pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors, all of whom could not figure out how to cure him. Finally he was brought to an old physician, who stated that he could figure it out. After about an hour's examination he came out and told the cardinals that he knew what was wrong. He said that the bad news was that it was a rare disorder of the testicles. He said that the goods news was that all the pope had to do to be cured was to have sex. Well, this was not good news to the cardinals, who argued about it at length. Finally they went to the pope with the doctor and explained the situation. After some thought, the pope stated, "I agree, but under four conditions." The cardinals were amazed and there arose quite an uproar. Over all of the noise there arose a single voice that asked, "And what are the four conditions?" The room stilled. There was a long pause... The pope replied, "First the girl must be blind, so that she cannot see whom she is having sex." "Second, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear with whom she is having sex." "Third she must be dumb so that if somehow she figures out with who she is having sex, she can tell no one." After another long pause a voice arose and asked, "And the fourth condition?" The Pope replied . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."Big Tits"

every 4 years have a look at the air filter mate, prob wont need cleaning anyway

I tried an Xlite tyre a couple of years ago, ran it at 4.5 pounds in the dry and 3.5 in the mud. Tyre did'nt seem much different to the x11 with these pressures so went back to the cheaper x11 for a while before changing to the might IRC.

We have a thing called "Ebay" that allows a turd to be polished

As bad as it looks, its still worth sorting out, yes will take hours and hours to do but all part of it. List below of bust parts Cylinder head both wheels wiring loom race end can oil cooler radiator tank fuel pump ram air ducts sub frame engine mounting bracket both rear sets battery all fairings nrc crank case covers rear tyre all crash bobbins paddock stand brackets and bobbins

I'm fixing this now

Another pic of Tim down the elbow at Mallory, Tim on the finish line with his trophy and lastly the bike after his massive crash at the last round in September

Mark, the bikes a k5 Suzuki 1000 gsx-r, 5 year old bike and cost 4 grand, competes against against bikes costing 10 times or more than that and with 60 bhp more so he's done well this year. Heres an onboard clip of Tim at a practice day at Mallory Park this summer, Tim is following our friend Darren Jones (#28) to check his lines for him and lapping about 4 seconds slower than his normal pace

Tim being a very good ex trials rider, note the finger covering the clutch, you can spot all trials riders in road racing doing this, I did it and I saw Scorpa3 on his pics as well

Thanks Phill, keep them coming please, need to have a name for next week if possible. Few pics below of bro, one of him getting his trophy and champers for the second time this year for winning the Buildbase Trophy and the bike in the holding bay after his crash which is being rebuilt by myself as we speak errrr????? not sure how to put pics up??? will have a look tomoz

Thanks for the replies guys, Donald, Team Gaffa is a name that always brings a good laugh at the meetings, I would dearly like to have it as our name but I think alas next year may need something a little more serious to go with, although still an option. You have though rung a bell in my head in the first paragraph that may get you a cap and T Shirt??? will have a word with Gizza in the morning and see what he thinks

Just had JAM Racing or JAM Superbike

Can't wait for copey's and Slapshots posts as Mark has said above we need a name quite quickly so we can move things on, my first suggestion was an easy option, M&J Raing or M&J Superbike, M for Mark and J for Justin. Does'nt have to be our names or initials just something suitable for a motorcycle race team. Tim rides in the open class, 1000cc bikes or Superbikes. Any help will be really appreciated, Team T shirts and cap for the best suggestion

As Perce said, throttle cable off works well, lying the bike on its side can also work most times and top gear brake full on is the quickest although can put you in an awkward position if it wont knock off.

Anywhere near the H/T cable I expect, should pick up the pulse

04 was orange, may be an 05 or 03,

Stator, ask if its had a new one fitted, might cost you 100 quid to change. Gear box issues Good bikes, I had one and loved it

When the piston goes flying past your head mate lol, a digital rpm counter is a good buy for a 4rt, quite cheap these days, usually you just wrap a wire around the plug lead to let you know what the tickover is