https://video-fra3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hvideo-xlp1/v/t42.1790-2/10913338_780448562036646_534165748_n.mp4?efg=eyJybHIiOjMwOSwicmxhIjo1MTJ9&rl=309&vabr=172&oh=736f92a5cd6ae2bb6e986b605aaf1da1&oe=55EF62E9

 

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”

She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gor...geous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”

“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".

 

Pulled a gypsy bird last night, she said "do you want to come back to mine for a good time" Wow!!!! she wasn't kidding, I went on the Waltzer , dodgems and the ghost train and came home with a gold fish

Edited September 12, 201510 yr by the addict

Dear Dr. Phil,

 

I was watching my next door neighbour's wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was jerking off I turned to notice my wife just standing there, arms folded ... watching me......
Is she a pervert?

^{A teacher asks his pupils, "Can anyone tell me the difference between constructive criticism and unnecessary nastiness?"
Little Johnny puts his hand up.
"One is the process of offering valid and well-reasoned opinions about the work of others, usually involving both positive and negative comments."
"Very good, Johnny," says the teacher. "And the other?"
"Your mum's a ****."}

 

 

 

Marriage is like a pack of cards

 

All you need to start are two hearts and a diamond

 

It's sometimes best finished with a club and a spade though 

A little safety warning as October is on it's way

 

and.....

 

A little Irishman gets into an elevator, looks up and sees  the only occupant, a HUGE black guy standing next to him.

 

 

 

The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him. He looks down and says:

 

"7 ft. tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, Turner Brown."

 

The little Irishman faints dead away and falls to the floor.

 

The big guy kneels down and brings him round, shaking him.

 

The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"

 

In a weak voice, the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you just say to me?"

 

The big dude says, "Well, I saw your curious look and I figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me...............

 

I 'm 7 ft. tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis,  ....and my name is Turner Brown."

 

The Irishman says:

 

 

"Turner Brown?!....Sweet Jesus.........I thought you said, “Turn around!"

Rickets, malnutrition, conscription into the war to end all wars, white feathers if you were a conscientious objector, shot as a coward if you suffered PTSD ....

_{Just got back from a holiday in Thailand and wow!!! I came really close to shagging a lady boy!!!!! Looked like a lady, talked like a lady, kissed like a lady, it was only when she drove me back to her place and reversed the car first time into the garage I thought?? “Hang on a ****ing minute”!!!!!}