January 15, 201016 yr Michael McIntyre on Scottish People:- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1j31AnF1zs
January 15, 201016 yr Author paddy was on the weakest link,anne robinson asked him. what does acoustic mean?he thought for a moment and replied, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .its something for hitting cattle with!.
January 15, 201016 yr Author An Indian bloke goes to put his wifes death in the local paper, they tell him it's
January 15, 201016 yr Author For Sale Limited Edition 42 Volume Encyclopedia Brittanica no longer required Genuine reason for sale Just got married, Wife knows everything
January 15, 201016 yr Author Morning Sex... Mrs Addict was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the brief nightie that she normally slept in. As I walked in, hardly awake, she turned to me and said softly: "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!" Not wanting to lose the moment though, I embraced her and gave it my all right there on the breakfast bar. Afterwards she said: "Thanks," and returned to the stove, with her nightie still around her neck. Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked: "What was that all about?" She explained: "The egg timer's broken." Edited January 15, 201016 yr by The Addict
January 15, 201016 yr Morning Sex...Mrs Addict was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the brief nightie that she normally slept in. As I walked in, hardly awake, she turned to me and said softly: "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!" Not wanting to lose the moment though, I embraced her and gave it my all right there on the breakfast bar. Afterwards she said: "Thanks," and returned to the stove, with her nightie still around her neck. Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked: "What was that all about?" She explained: "The egg timer's broken."
January 16, 201016 yr This one popped up on the tube, i was just glad to understandt the little *******, yet he may have issues!
January 16, 201016 yr A chap walks into ''The Newly Appionted Montesa Dealership''. He browses around, spots the new 2010 Montesa Cota 4RT in all its glory and walks over to inspect it. As he bends over to feel the fine gleaming shiny bits and the quality of such a machine, he inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, he looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed his little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up, as the aroma was immediately quite pungent. As he turns around, his worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind him. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the guy with, "Good day, sir. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of his little 'accident', he asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely motorcycle?" . . . . . . He answers, "Sir, if you farted just touching it, you're going to Sh*t yourself when I tell you the price!"
January 16, 201016 yr Author A chap walks into ''The Newly Appionted Montesa Dealership''. He browses around, spots the new 2010 Montesa Cota 4RT in all its glory and walks over to inspect it. As he bends over to feel the fine gleaming shiny bits and the quality of such a machine, he inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, he looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed his little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up, as the aroma was immediately quite pungent. As he turns around, his worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind him. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the guy with, "Good day, sir. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of his little 'accident', he asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely motorcycle?" . . . . . . He answers, "Sir, if you farted just touching it, you're going to Sh*t yourself when I tell you the price!" Gizza, cracker mate and probably the first Trials joke on here, nice one
January 16, 201016 yr This one popped up on the tube, i was just glad to understandt the little *******, yet he may have issues! Can't wait to see "cus I'm american" (the black & white one's are for internal comsumption)
January 16, 201016 yr Author A good un Gizza text me last week there are others but don't think they'd stay on here long A distraught farmer finds all his cows frozen solid in the snow. He prays to God for help when a woman appears, she puts her arms around the icey cows and they imediatley defrost. Thank you, thank you crys the gratefull farmer, are you angel sent from God? No says the woman I,m . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Thora Herd!!!!!!!!!!!!! Copey, don't think you'll get this one mate Edited January 16, 201016 yr by The Addict
January 17, 201016 yr Gizza, cracker mate and probably the first Trials joke on here, nice one nOW THAT iS FUNNY!
January 17, 201016 yr Can't wait to see "cus I'm american"(the black & white one's are for internal comsumption) I suddenly feel the urge do do one of these 'cus I'm a friggin redneck! Not quite sure if I can pull it off at home, due to the excessive noise and bullets flying about. Someone may complain! Like wifey! Edited January 17, 201016 yr by copemech
January 17, 201016 yr Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
January 17, 201016 yr cos less battery power = less vibration therefore more manual input required to achieve climax!!!!! it's basic maths Edited January 17, 201016 yr by thespikeyone
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.