trapezeartist

No, there are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Well I ran out of time to do the job, so I carefully cleaned to rusty old bearing with WD40, re-greased it and put it back together. At the moment it is pleasingly smooth and no problem at all in riding. It may be a few more events before I get out the bodger's tools and change it. But thanks everyone for the advice, that has pointed me in the right direction.

Just my personal opinion (so I could be wrong), but I would say there is only a small difference in the severity of Twinshock v Modern routes. Probably just about inline with the bikes' capabilities. So the choice is yours. I fancy a 125 might be a bit lacking in grunt for a big bloke like you. A 250 won't be too fearsome and there are ways to tone them down if necessary. Sirdabalot makes a good point about the Beta kickstart, but only you will know if that will be an issue for your tin leg. I would have thought that 50% arm movement would be fine: you don't have to flail it around like a windmill. A trials experience day would seem a good idea: you might hate it. My only small note of caution would be to consider the potential effect of a heavy fall on your bionic bits. Since starting less than a year ago at the age of 64, I've done more than my fair share of inspecting the ground in close-up. Either it goes with the territory, or it's just me. I've collected a considerable collection of bumps and bruises (and a couple of burns), but nothing sufficient to stop me.

A plane was taking off from Kennedy International Airport in New York. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain announced over the intercom,"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my trousers!" A passenger in Economy yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet & have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out & make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time & the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms & sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time & all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house & meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!' The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace & bows his head. A minute passes & the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass & still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over & whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.' The boy turns & whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.' Come on someone. Help me out. I'm running out and I'll have to start posting the rubbish ones soon.

Interesting website I've never seen before. It looks like they have the bearing I need for about £6 instead of about £15 in other places. But I'll have to check dimensions when I get the old one out. Family delays mean I didn't get out to the garage tonight.

Thanks bullylover and section swept. You've confirmed what I was anticipating. I had already tried drifting out the outer race, but not giving it a great deal of force. I'll go back to it with a bit more vigour. The steering spindle seems to be aluminium (from the photo, I'm not near the bike at the moment to check) so I don't think heat is going to go much on the inner race. I'll smash the bearing cage off somehow and then apply some delicate grinding to the inner race. When I've done that in the past I've found the race cracks just before it's reduced to zero thickness, which helps avoid marking the spindle with the grinding wheel. I don't have a replacement bearing yet and there's a trial I want to do on Sunday, so I think I may reassemble and put up with the rough steering for this one event. Then attack the job again early next week. I think I'll need to organise some better sealing against the elements so the job will be a bit more than just dealing with the bearing.

A young blond Portsmouth girl, down on her luck, decided to end it all one night by casting herself into the cold, dark waters off Gun Wharf Quay. As she stood on the edge, pondering the infinite, a young sailor noticed her as he strolled by. 'You're not thinking of jumping, are you, babe?' he asked. 'Yes, I am' replied the sobbing girl. Putting his arm around her, the kind sailor coaxed her back from the edge. 'Look, nothing's worth that. I'll tell you what, I'm sailing off for Australia tomorrow. Why don't you stow away on board and start a new life over there. I'll set you up in one of the lifeboats on the deck, bring you food and water every night and I'll look after you if you look after me - if you know what I mean. You just have to keep very quiet so that you won't be found'. The girl, having no better prospects, agreed, and the sailor sneaked her on board that very night. For the next 3 weeks the sailor came to her lifeboat every night, bringing food and water, and making love to her until dawn. Then, during the fourth week, the captain was performing a routine inspection of the ship and its lifeboats. He peeled back the cover to find the startled blonde, and demanded an explanation. The girl came clean, 'I've stowed away to get to Australia . One of the sailors is helping me out. He set me up in here and brings me food and water every night and he's screwing me.' The captain stared at her for a moment before he replied .... ... 'He certainly is, love. This is the Isle of Wight Ferry.

I've just pulled mine apart. There's an O ring on the bottom as well as a motley collection of spacers and a rough and rusty bearing. [First photo] The outer race is a bit rough too. [Second photo] The top bearing is pretty good, though it has no O ring and was topped by an odd spacer with some random sawcuts in it. [Third photo] I assume that the saw cuts are a bit of history and the part may even have come from other application originally. So now I need to replace the bottom bearing, but so far gentle persuasion has failed to move either the bottom outer race or the bottom inner. Can I reasonably expect to be able to drift them off with a hammer, or am I going to have to resort to some serious brutality? It looks like I also need a couple of O rings and a spacer for the top to put it on. I've never done a steering head before so I'm not sure of the fit of the bearings or of any clever knacks for removing and fitting. All advice would be welcomed.

A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: 'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'... Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies for being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk: 'I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.'

There's nothing like oil changes to bring out some diversity of opinion. On the whole I'm inclined to go with Dan's version of events, for exactly the reasons he has already given. There must be an awful lot of perfectly serviceable (and expensive) oil being poured away.

Hmmm, only a smile for the last one. I must try harder. How about this? A young couple wanted to join the church. The pastor told them, 'We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month.' The couple agreed, but after two-and-a- half weeks returned to the Church. When the pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed. 'You are back so soon...Is there a problem?' the pastor inquired. 'We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month.' the young man replied sadly. The pastor asked him what happened. 'Well, the first week was difficult... However, we managed to it through sheer will-power. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible...anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts. One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat,' admitted the man, shame-facedly. The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, 'You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church.' 'We know.' said the young man, hanging his head, 'We're not welcome at Homebase either.

This entire debate also explains that there is a fundamental problem with scoring trials at the moment, at least at World Championship level. Scoring should be objective; observers aren't giving marks for style. But clearly, in reality, it's very subjective.

I thought I saw a thread on here a while ago on this topic, but I can't find it now. On my bike, the bearings are quite exposed. I'm sure I saw somewhere that there is supposed to be some sort of cap to protect them from the elements. Mine felt a little rough when I was in the garage tonight, so now seems like the time to get it all sorted out properly. Any advice?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

At World level I'm not really bothered whether it is "no stop" or "stop allowed" as long as the rules are clear and rigorously enforced. The current problem is the failure to mark according to the rules. If that was done, the riders would very quickly fall into line. I suggested a similar "3 second" rule in another thread, but on reflection I think it has many similar problems to the existing situation. If a rider stopped (for less than 3 seconds), then moved a couple of inches and stopped again, that would reset the timer. While hopping about in an awkward space, that could happen many times before the rider goes for it proper.

So it just needs some banging of heads together. The FIM has to tell everyone at the beginning of the 2019 season that the no-stop rule is to be strictly enforced. Course setters must allow for that. Riders must obey it. Observers must mark accordingly. Send everyone a copy of that video to illustrate the point. There may be a bit of blood-letting at the first round if some riders can't quite believe it really is going to be enforced. But after that, everyone would understand and settle down.

Right, I'll be carefully counting the smiles and laughs from now on. Let's see what you think of this lot: Commentators Gaff's Michael Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts." Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself." Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets." Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now." Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night." Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg." Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this." James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?" Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69. THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection." A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!" Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew." Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother." New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him." Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

I've got to keep this going, just to keep Bullylover happy. What if there were no hypothetical questions? What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? Is there another word for synonym? Is it possible to be totally partial? Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.

If the world was a logical place, it would be men who ride horses side saddle.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swat. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies", her husband responded. "Oh. Killed many?" she asked. "Yes, 3 males, 2 females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?" "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone," he said.

"Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as a salesperson." Below is rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true: Postulate 1: Knowledge is power. Postulate 2: Time is money. As every engineer knows... Work/Time = Power Knowledge = Power Time = Money Therefore we have: Work/Money = Knowledge Solving for money, we get: Work/Knowledge = Money Thus, as knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity regardless of the work done. Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make. SALES, that's where it's at!