trapezeartist

Who needs stickers when you've got sexy blue wheel rims? The letter J is pronounced "jota" in Spanish (like we would say "jay") so Jotagas and JGAS are exactly the same thing.

You can get a bike in a Kangoo: I've seen it done. I would guess the Doblo would work too because it's the same platform as the Citroen Berlingo that I use. No idea about the Vauxhall. I'll certainly give a vote for the Berlingo (car, not van) though you have to accept that it's French, with all that that implies.

That is a brilliant initiative. Any idea how many users of club bikes have gone on to buy their own?

Yes, the piston marking on the crown matches the squish area. Its hard to tell from the photos if that marking is due to debris getting smashed between the piston and head, or bad detonation occurring in there. If you only ran the engine without oil for a short while, that may not be the cause of the problem and is just serving to confuse us. I certainly don't think the ring area of the piston looks healthy. On the other hand there doesn't seem much wrong with the bore in the photo, but I think it needs to be inspected carefully and measured.

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam paper. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (Gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

That nice quick closure is a big step forward, but I still can't help feeling the engine is not responding properly. Blipping the throttle like that should have the motor leaping up to max revs instantaneously.

Sorry for a bit of thread drift, but I don't understand this thing about tiller effect due to the position/angle of the handlebar clamps. It seems to me the only points of interest are the steering axis and the position of the handlebar grips. Everything in between is irrelevant. Isn't it?

Those kids bouncing around on bikes and scooters should be the next generation of trials riders (and motocross, enduro and circuit racing). Clubs and governing bodies are really missing a major trick if they let them slip through their fingers. I've done extracurricular talks at primary schools (about coastal safety, not motorbikes) and the interest and enthusiasm is awesome. It just needs channelling.

You can practice basic skills almost anywhere. Do tight figures-of-eight. Lay out a line of markers as a slalom and keep moving them closer. Put down a small obstacle and practice hopping the front wheel over it. Then add in something before and after so you have to turn tightly onto it and after it.When you go to practice on some proper trials terrain, try to have someone with you. You're more likely to push yourself if there's someone to pick the bike off you when it all goes wrong.

Isn't it a lovely feeling when it finally happens?

No, there are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Well I ran out of time to do the job, so I carefully cleaned to rusty old bearing with WD40, re-greased it and put it back together. At the moment it is pleasingly smooth and no problem at all in riding. It may be a few more events before I get out the bodger's tools and change it. But thanks everyone for the advice, that has pointed me in the right direction.

Just my personal opinion (so I could be wrong), but I would say there is only a small difference in the severity of Twinshock v Modern routes. Probably just about inline with the bikes' capabilities. So the choice is yours. I fancy a 125 might be a bit lacking in grunt for a big bloke like you. A 250 won't be too fearsome and there are ways to tone them down if necessary. Sirdabalot makes a good point about the Beta kickstart, but only you will know if that will be an issue for your tin leg. I would have thought that 50% arm movement would be fine: you don't have to flail it around like a windmill. A trials experience day would seem a good idea: you might hate it. My only small note of caution would be to consider the potential effect of a heavy fall on your bionic bits. Since starting less than a year ago at the age of 64, I've done more than my fair share of inspecting the ground in close-up. Either it goes with the territory, or it's just me. I've collected a considerable collection of bumps and bruises (and a couple of burns), but nothing sufficient to stop me.

A plane was taking off from Kennedy International Airport in New York. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain announced over the intercom,"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my trousers!" A passenger in Economy yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet & have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out & make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time & the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms & sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time & all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house & meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!' The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace & bows his head. A minute passes & the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass & still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over & whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.' The boy turns & whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.' Come on someone. Help me out. I'm running out and I'll have to start posting the rubbish ones soon.

Interesting website I've never seen before. It looks like they have the bearing I need for about £6 instead of about £15 in other places. But I'll have to check dimensions when I get the old one out. Family delays mean I didn't get out to the garage tonight.

Thanks bullylover and section swept. You've confirmed what I was anticipating. I had already tried drifting out the outer race, but not giving it a great deal of force. I'll go back to it with a bit more vigour. The steering spindle seems to be aluminium (from the photo, I'm not near the bike at the moment to check) so I don't think heat is going to go much on the inner race. I'll smash the bearing cage off somehow and then apply some delicate grinding to the inner race. When I've done that in the past I've found the race cracks just before it's reduced to zero thickness, which helps avoid marking the spindle with the grinding wheel. I don't have a replacement bearing yet and there's a trial I want to do on Sunday, so I think I may reassemble and put up with the rough steering for this one event. Then attack the job again early next week. I think I'll need to organise some better sealing against the elements so the job will be a bit more than just dealing with the bearing.

A young blond Portsmouth girl, down on her luck, decided to end it all one night by casting herself into the cold, dark waters off Gun Wharf Quay. As she stood on the edge, pondering the infinite, a young sailor noticed her as he strolled by. 'You're not thinking of jumping, are you, babe?' he asked. 'Yes, I am' replied the sobbing girl. Putting his arm around her, the kind sailor coaxed her back from the edge. 'Look, nothing's worth that. I'll tell you what, I'm sailing off for Australia tomorrow. Why don't you stow away on board and start a new life over there. I'll set you up in one of the lifeboats on the deck, bring you food and water every night and I'll look after you if you look after me - if you know what I mean. You just have to keep very quiet so that you won't be found'. The girl, having no better prospects, agreed, and the sailor sneaked her on board that very night. For the next 3 weeks the sailor came to her lifeboat every night, bringing food and water, and making love to her until dawn. Then, during the fourth week, the captain was performing a routine inspection of the ship and its lifeboats. He peeled back the cover to find the startled blonde, and demanded an explanation. The girl came clean, 'I've stowed away to get to Australia . One of the sailors is helping me out. He set me up in here and brings me food and water every night and he's screwing me.' The captain stared at her for a moment before he replied .... ... 'He certainly is, love. This is the Isle of Wight Ferry.

I've just pulled mine apart. There's an O ring on the bottom as well as a motley collection of spacers and a rough and rusty bearing. [First photo] The outer race is a bit rough too. [Second photo] The top bearing is pretty good, though it has no O ring and was topped by an odd spacer with some random sawcuts in it. [Third photo] I assume that the saw cuts are a bit of history and the part may even have come from other application originally. So now I need to replace the bottom bearing, but so far gentle persuasion has failed to move either the bottom outer race or the bottom inner. Can I reasonably expect to be able to drift them off with a hammer, or am I going to have to resort to some serious brutality? It looks like I also need a couple of O rings and a spacer for the top to put it on. I've never done a steering head before so I'm not sure of the fit of the bearings or of any clever knacks for removing and fitting. All advice would be welcomed.

A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: 'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'... Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies for being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk: 'I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.'

There's nothing like oil changes to bring out some diversity of opinion. On the whole I'm inclined to go with Dan's version of events, for exactly the reasons he has already given. There must be an awful lot of perfectly serviceable (and expensive) oil being poured away.

Hmmm, only a smile for the last one. I must try harder. How about this? A young couple wanted to join the church. The pastor told them, 'We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month.' The couple agreed, but after two-and-a- half weeks returned to the Church. When the pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed. 'You are back so soon...Is there a problem?' the pastor inquired. 'We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month.' the young man replied sadly. The pastor asked him what happened. 'Well, the first week was difficult... However, we managed to it through sheer will-power. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible...anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts. One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat,' admitted the man, shame-facedly. The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, 'You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church.' 'We know.' said the young man, hanging his head, 'We're not welcome at Homebase either.

This entire debate also explains that there is a fundamental problem with scoring trials at the moment, at least at World Championship level. Scoring should be objective; observers aren't giving marks for style. But clearly, in reality, it's very subjective.

I thought I saw a thread on here a while ago on this topic, but I can't find it now. On my bike, the bearings are quite exposed. I'm sure I saw somewhere that there is supposed to be some sort of cap to protect them from the elements. Mine felt a little rough when I was in the garage tonight, so now seems like the time to get it all sorted out properly. Any advice?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?