trapezeartist

I take your point. I've worked in vehicle safety too (claim to fame: I've crashed more Deloreans than anyone else in the world) and the prospect of anything heavy flying about inside a crashing car is scary. However, we all have to pick our risks otherwise we would spend all our lives in bed and then worry about whether the ceiling will fall on us. We're motorcyclists: we can't be that risk-averse!

Blimey. Minivan? One of those Jap things used by florists?

You make a very good point. Any method of fixing your bike needs to have some redundancy ie failure of any one strap or component doesn't lead to catastrophic results. If I were carrying a bike on a trailer I would use at least three straps (probably four) so that failure of one strap wouldn't let the bike fall over/off. As I carry my bike inside a van-like car, I don't need extra straps. If the bike falls over, it can't go far, and it certainly can't end up sliding down the road.

Are you really sure your bike won't go in? I carry mine in a Citroen Berlingo car (with the rear seat removed and the passenger seat a little forward of normal). I've seen people carry a bike in a Renault Kangoo too. I can't imagine there are many vans smaller than that.

I share your concern but for slightly different reasons. The 70kg is a static limit that makes a sensible allowance for dynamic leadings. I once had a largish 2 axle trailer. The static nose load was quite modest but over bumps it yanked the back of the car all over the place. It never did any damage, but I got rid of it pretty quickly just in case. My concern is insurance. If your limit is 70kg and you put a 65kg bike on, plus fluids, plus rack, plus mud, you are exceeding the limit. If you have an accident you insurance company will be looking for any excuse to not pay out. And you just provided one! Even if it’s completely irrelevant to the circumstances of the accident.

Oni Nou has an "unconventional" sense of humour. I think he's amused by the thought of helmets being scrutineered at a trial, because it is so unlikely.

As I understand it (leaving myself a get-out there), hydrogen embrittlement can occur when chrome plating, but is not inevitable. Nonetheless, I would opt for nickel rather than chromium, just to be on the safe side. However, if you're buying a 30+ year-old bike and there are no cracks in the frame, I wouldn't be too worried.

Nothing to do with fwd. Mercedes just seem to have a liking for big castor angles. True of C Class, E Class, maybe others.

Again Im comparing Mercedes car with Mercedes van, which may or may not be relevant. My C Class has an extreme castor angle so it knocks out the shoulders of the front tyres.

I don't know if its the same engine, but i have a direct injection petrol in my Mercedes car (1.6, turbo, intercooled, about 150bhp). It's not the most refined engine in the world when revved, but it's very nice when driven smoothly and gives diesel-like fuel consumption.

Who needs stickers when you've got sexy blue wheel rims? The letter J is pronounced "jota" in Spanish (like we would say "jay") so Jotagas and JGAS are exactly the same thing.

You can get a bike in a Kangoo: I've seen it done. I would guess the Doblo would work too because it's the same platform as the Citroen Berlingo that I use. No idea about the Vauxhall. I'll certainly give a vote for the Berlingo (car, not van) though you have to accept that it's French, with all that that implies.

That is a brilliant initiative. Any idea how many users of club bikes have gone on to buy their own?

Yes, the piston marking on the crown matches the squish area. Its hard to tell from the photos if that marking is due to debris getting smashed between the piston and head, or bad detonation occurring in there. If you only ran the engine without oil for a short while, that may not be the cause of the problem and is just serving to confuse us. I certainly don't think the ring area of the piston looks healthy. On the other hand there doesn't seem much wrong with the bore in the photo, but I think it needs to be inspected carefully and measured.

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam paper. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (Gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

That nice quick closure is a big step forward, but I still can't help feeling the engine is not responding properly. Blipping the throttle like that should have the motor leaping up to max revs instantaneously.

Sorry for a bit of thread drift, but I don't understand this thing about tiller effect due to the position/angle of the handlebar clamps. It seems to me the only points of interest are the steering axis and the position of the handlebar grips. Everything in between is irrelevant. Isn't it?

Those kids bouncing around on bikes and scooters should be the next generation of trials riders (and motocross, enduro and circuit racing). Clubs and governing bodies are really missing a major trick if they let them slip through their fingers. I've done extracurricular talks at primary schools (about coastal safety, not motorbikes) and the interest and enthusiasm is awesome. It just needs channelling.

You can practice basic skills almost anywhere. Do tight figures-of-eight. Lay out a line of markers as a slalom and keep moving them closer. Put down a small obstacle and practice hopping the front wheel over it. Then add in something before and after so you have to turn tightly onto it and after it.When you go to practice on some proper trials terrain, try to have someone with you. You're more likely to push yourself if there's someone to pick the bike off you when it all goes wrong.

Isn't it a lovely feeling when it finally happens?

No, there are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Well I ran out of time to do the job, so I carefully cleaned to rusty old bearing with WD40, re-greased it and put it back together. At the moment it is pleasingly smooth and no problem at all in riding. It may be a few more events before I get out the bodger's tools and change it. But thanks everyone for the advice, that has pointed me in the right direction.

Just my personal opinion (so I could be wrong), but I would say there is only a small difference in the severity of Twinshock v Modern routes. Probably just about inline with the bikes' capabilities. So the choice is yours. I fancy a 125 might be a bit lacking in grunt for a big bloke like you. A 250 won't be too fearsome and there are ways to tone them down if necessary. Sirdabalot makes a good point about the Beta kickstart, but only you will know if that will be an issue for your tin leg. I would have thought that 50% arm movement would be fine: you don't have to flail it around like a windmill. A trials experience day would seem a good idea: you might hate it. My only small note of caution would be to consider the potential effect of a heavy fall on your bionic bits. Since starting less than a year ago at the age of 64, I've done more than my fair share of inspecting the ground in close-up. Either it goes with the territory, or it's just me. I've collected a considerable collection of bumps and bruises (and a couple of burns), but nothing sufficient to stop me.

A plane was taking off from Kennedy International Airport in New York. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain announced over the intercom,"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my trousers!" A passenger in Economy yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet & have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out & make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time & the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms & sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time & all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house & meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!' The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace & bows his head. A minute passes & the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass & still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over & whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.' The boy turns & whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.' Come on someone. Help me out. I'm running out and I'll have to start posting the rubbish ones soon.