November 16, 20178 yr 14 hours ago, biffsgasgas said: .I apparently have a GYM... I haven't been there either zippy. --Biff Well, you could go at any time if you wanted to, it is open 24/7. But why would you want to go? seems like hard work is involved.
December 8, 20178 yr Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie. The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?” Son: “Yeah.” Detector: “Beep.“ Son: “OK, OK, I was in a cinema.” Detector: “Beep.” Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.” Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“ Detector: “Beep.” Mother laughs: “Ha ha ha, well, he really is your son!” Detector: “Beep.”
December 10, 20178 yr They have a strange custom at my new work place. The food has names. Yesterday for example I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was "Michael".
January 26, 20188 yr Son "Dad, why is my sister called Teresa?" Dad "Because your mum loves Easter, it's an anagram. Son "Thanks Dad" Dad "You're welcome Alan"
January 30, 20188 yr It has been determined that the most used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.
February 3, 20188 yr I'm not sure if this is even funny, but it's certainly a reflection on modern society...
February 3, 20188 yr Probably going to have this post raised against me by the media in 8 yrs time but I must be old as it’s definitely funny and also very sad at the same time ?
February 5, 20188 yr There are 10 type of people in the world. Those that know binary and those that do not. --Biff
February 5, 20188 yr On 2/3/2018 at 1:28 PM, andy said: I'm not sure if this is even funny, but it's certainly a reflection on modern society... Ha I can relate. Several years back i had a millennials mom call me at work because I had given her son an unflattering review. It was definitely a deserved review but she didn't think that her child could do anything wrong. This kid had given himself a title in his head and used to try and put it on his email... What a disaster... Oldie but a goodie. --Biff
March 27, 20188 yr A guy telephones a musical agent: Guy, "How much to buy a vocal ensemble"? Agent, "You mean a choir"... Guy, "OK, how much to acquire a vocal ensemble then"?
April 8, 20188 yr Two deaf people get married and during the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out since they can't see each other signing, or read lips. After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution. She writes: 'Honey, why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times.' The husband thinks this is a great idea. He writes back to his wife saying if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on his penis one time. If she doesn't want to have sex, then pull on his penis two hundred and fifty times.
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