December 9, 201015 yr Bestiality and references to sodomy - OK Nudity - censored ! It is a Scottish site ,remember.
December 9, 201015 yr It is a Scottish site ,remember. It had boobies AND a naked girlgina (and very nice they were too ). This topic has an adult content warning, but that was stretching it somewhat...
December 10, 201015 yr Not sure if he got the Sarah Jessica Parker joke! I am still waiting to see one of them vuvusela's(sp)!!!!
December 10, 201015 yr Bestiality and references to sodomy - OK Nudity - censored ! QUICK PM ME A LINK TO THE OFFENDING PICTURE!!!
December 10, 201015 yr It had boobies AND a naked girlgina (and very nice they were too ). This topic has an adult content warning, but that was stretching it somewhat... What was getting stretched and what was stretching it????
December 14, 201015 yr Little Larry A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!' Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ' Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ' What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving up?' The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!' Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Larry asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? " Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ....'
December 14, 201015 yr The latest toy for Christmas; The talking Barbie-in-a-Burkha doll. No-one knows what it says because no-one has the b0ll0x to pull the cord!?
December 21, 201015 yr You might be a redneck ,if---? Redneck Quints The Redneck went to the hospital As his wife was having a baby. Upon arriving, The Nurse says "Congratulations, Your wife has had quints, 5 big baby boys." The Redneck says, "I'm not surprised, I have a penis on me like a chimney." The nurse replies, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned, The babies are all black."
December 21, 201015 yr Author A lady walks into a shop that sells VERY expensive Persian rugs. She browses around, then spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug, she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person does not pop up right now. As she turns back, there, standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day, madam. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely rug?" He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are very likely to **** when you hear the price!"
December 22, 201015 yr I hope Big John gets this! Seems that more and more "older people" are texting and tweeting, and there appears to be a need for an STC (Senior Texting Code) that we can all use and understand. (Hmmmmmmm, I wonder which ones I'll use the most.?) * ATD: At The Doctor's * BFF: Best Friend Farted * BTW: Bring The Wheelchair * BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth * DWI: Driving While Incontinent * FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers * FWBS: Friend With Beta Sticker on car * FWIW: Forgot Where I Was * FYI: Found Your Insulin * GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low! * GHA: Got Heartburn Again * HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement * IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On? * LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out * LOL: Living On Lipitor * LWO: Lawrence Welk's On * OMMR: On My Massage Recliner * OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas. * ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up * SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop * TTYL: Talk To You Louder * WAITT: Who Am I Talking To? * WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again * WTP: Where's The Prunes?
December 29, 201015 yr A vacation love story. . . She grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room, her room. She quietly shut the door and we were alone. She approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, breathy voice close to my ear. "Just relax." Without warning, she reached down and I felt her soft well practiced hands start at my ankles, gently probing, moving upward along my calves slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. Her touch was so experienced, so sure. When her hands moved up my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt her knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as she wrapped her hands across my chest, I inhaled sharply. Probing, searching, knowing what she wanted, she brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and finally paused at my beltline, promising so much more. Although I knew nothing about this woman, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a real woman, I thought. A woman used to taking charge. A woman not used to taking `no' for an answer. A woman who would tell me what she wanted. A woman who would look into my soul and say, "Okay sir, all done." My eyes snapped open and she was standing in front of me, smiling, holding out my belongings. "You can board your flight now."
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