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Kenny The Rooster - Contains Adult Humour

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A Geordie bloke picks up a rather large woman from Wigan.

When they get home,he drops his pants and the lass says, ''Wow,that's a gut'un?'' Confused,he asks her, ''What's a gut'un?'' She replies,''It means a big one.''

Next,she drops her pants and the Geordie says, ''Wow,that's a canny'un.''

Bemused, she asks,''What's a canny'un?'' The Geordie says, ''It's a bloody big valley that cowboys ride through!''

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    My next door neighbour just confronted me about missing items from her washing line. I nearly **** her pants.

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:wacko: I can't believe that these Southern Softies get paid for telling school playground Geordie (notice the capital 'G') jokes..we've always made jokes about our dialect:-

More Geordie jokes from primary school,don't bother trying to 'google-translate it) :hyper: :

A Geordie goes (ganns?) into Greggs,points, and says to the assistant; ''Is that a cake or a meringue?''

The assistant replies; ''Your reet first time pet,it's a cake''.

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that understand binary, and the rest.

The Monkee Davy Jones has just died...do you think he'll be buried at sea?

RIP Davy Jones... now I'm a bereaver

When my Mum told me earlier that Davy Jones had died I laughed, and assumed it must be a joke......But then I saw her face.

.....since I'm here, a few more.....

Why is Pingu's dad always ironing when none of them wear clothes?

I was busy rock climbing this morning when I thought hang on...

The first rule of Hindsight Club is you should've known better.

There are many advantages to living in Switzerland. I mean, even the nation's flag itself is a big plus.

I can't get the dishwasher to work. It's heavy and won't fit in the car.

Invisible flooring - I'm not sure where I stand on that

If dolphins were as smart as people say, they'd stop hanging around with tuna fish.

Somewhere out there, a neurotic chicken wants to cross the road but is paralysed by the knowledge that everyone will question his motives

After the accident, my mate was left a vegetable. "Who left this vegetable here?" He asked.

GJ :)

Edited by gjbiker

I thought it a bit ironic that in the Girls Allowed forum, the current topic is "What Size?" -----

I figure it best to try one of each untill you find comfort! :stoned:

The Monkee Davy Jones has just died...do you think he'll be buried at sea?

Did he beat Peter?

Did he beat Peter?

Davy Jones's locker.

I've told you before Mark, if I have to spell it out it kills the joke :wall: ..anyhow P.Tork is still around, in remission, regarding his health problem :icon_salut:

TAX TIME A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes...

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions."

He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks,"What's your occupation?"

"I'm a prostitute," she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, " Let's try to rephrase that."

The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".

"No, that still won't work. Try again."

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised a thousand little cocks last year."

"Chicken Farmer it is."

Davy Jones's locker.

I've told you before Mark, if I have to spell it out it kills the joke :wall: ..anyhow P.Tork is still around, in remission, regarding his health problem :icon_salut:

So what's in the bloody locker?

I know damn well peter torkin' is still about, You lads post up on a regular basis! :wub:

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