July 12, 201214 yr One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the lawyer said. "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree" "Bring them along" the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also." The second man, in a pitiful voice then said,"But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!" "Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."
July 26, 201214 yr The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It's an armoured booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but WILL detonate any explosive device you may have on your person. Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials. You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement: "Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is proud to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London ."
July 27, 201214 yr that's shocking Gav....local plod got you're number... Nothing new there Donald but never mind that - where's all the penguin jokes.............
August 2, 201214 yr My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I couldn't help but admire it. "Nice car," I said as he got out. "Well," he said,noticing my admiring looks. "Work hard,put the hours in,and I'll have an even better one next year".
August 2, 201214 yr Nothing new there Donald but never mind that - where's all the penguin jokes............. No penguins around mate, another month or so before they start migrating back....jokes will follow no doubt
August 21, 201214 yr Dodge - Porsche ! In a straight line maybe, but it wouldn't if there was a hint of a bend in site !
August 21, 201214 yr Sorry to burst the bubble ( and ruin it for satanists,exorcists, horror movies,occult novels and heavy metal guitarists) but like most things today the number of the beast has declined in value; it is 616 not 666...another bible mis-translation . Just like the virgin part of The Virgin Mary, 'almah' is the mis-translated word ,which only means 'young woman' not virgin. Tomorrow I shall be pointing out the mis-tranlations in the Q'uran...wish me luck
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.