toofasttim

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!' I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies. I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.. The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground. MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet. After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough. At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.. Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house. When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate. 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said.. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like. I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ. On the subject of Colonoscopies... Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous...... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies: 1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!' 2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?' 3. 'Can you hear me NOW?' 4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?' 5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.' 6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?' 7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...' 8.. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!' 9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!' 10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.' 11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?' 12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.' 13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

Very thick sticker.

Very nice Jamie, but what the hell is this? It looks like the rim is cream crackered.

Great, congrats Jamie. Post pics soonest.

Ah so that's your problem. Try looking at the section and not the road on which you're going to get lost

I'm wiv' Tony on this one.. Remember reading a test of the Aprillia RS250 ten years ago or so where that bike (std) pushed out 70 at the back wheel. The factory 250s must have been comfortably in excess of 110.

I agree with the need for immigrants John, if you're a late baby boomer (as you & I are) your retirement is looking very ropey but Scotland has a fairly homogenous population and is, by and large, undiluted, surely any new immigrants would threaten that homogeneity?

No doubts where your loyalties DON"T lie then hey John

Getting motorcycles accepted in the mainstream in the US, not the world. Motorcycles had long been accepted as mainstream transport in Europe long before Honda came on to the scene. But we're OT.

Guilt as charged m'lud

Hang on, I'm saying I (capitilized) don't like Honda and their manipulative, dictatorial approach. I think they have cost the clubbie a hell of a lot of money. Money that the clubbie had to chip in to offset the development of (in trials case) 4Ts that nobody really wanted. In the case of MX the cost maintainance of a 4t vs a 2T is massive. These are costs WE have had to bear. Thank you very much Honda. Slappie (gawd my nicknames for you get worse), you say we need 'em all. Do we? In the '70's, arguably the golden years of trials, we managed to get along fine with three manufacturers (I'm excluding an aborted effort by the japs). We have in the last 18 months had Xispa, Ossa and, maybe, Greeves enter the market. We've also seen Scorpa go to the wall. IMO the market is saturated. Dabster, hold it with the patronising remarks about inside info at the FIM. The damage that Honda have wrought is plain to see for anybody with half a brain. *edit* as an example of Hondas megalomania consider the 250 grands prix, for the forseeable future ALL 250 GPs will be won by Hondas. They couldn't win it so they BOUGHT it.

Supehunky on modern 4Ts

Because if Honda can't win they'll complain to the FIM until the rules are changed so that they can win. Witness the 4T rules. I would rather see trials consisting of small, bespoke, manufacturers who genuinely care about their customers and their wants, needs and desires as opposed to the likes of Honda who tell us, in no uncertain terms, what we need or want.

That was my take on it. The minder could interfere in the results.

Damn, I have nothing against Bou and Montesa but I hate Honda.

What happens if a WTC rider is baulked by his own minder?

Oh, I meant extra expenditure to sign Bou when Honda pull out. It'll be a riot watching the teams competing to sign him.

One things for sure, there are some team managers writing lengthy motivation memos to their GMs for greatly increased expenditure next (?) year.

Jamie, yes it does. Have a look at the pics here: Gas Gas TXT 125 Racing gallery Having not owned a Sherco I can't answer the rest of your questions however I can say you'll need to re-register on TC with a new user name

Interesting. Your argument is persuasive barring the "fly in the ointment" facet. By that I mean, is it possible that Bou's successor isn't on the scene yet, or at least not visibly so? On the same or similar theme I was wondering last night what will happen to Toni when Honda finally pull the plug? That moment isn't too far away. With no further production there's no more motivation for Honda to continue in the WTC, so where will Toni go?

ST, have a butchers over at OzVMX, there a few guys there with H7s and they might be able to help. Alternatively I know a guy in South Africas just picked up one so try: e-dirt. If all else fails, take a scaping and attempt to ignite it. If you go blind it's probably magnesium.

Oh we all caught the typo. We just didn't want you to rip our throats out if we mentioned it.

Could be worse Dave. Could be one of your 3 yo daughters favourtites

That's an unusual show of bad temper from you Copey. Bigfoot was just yanking your chain. Like John, I'd consider myself slightly left of centre but I would side with every conservative argument in your post.