pa.

There was a bit of confusion at Hunting & Fishing store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note to complain to Mike about the gun registry people running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card. I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer!

In class the teacher was asking the kids to use words in a sentence. "Can anyone use the word 'hospital' in a sentence?" Annie sticks up her hand. "Me, Miss! Me, Miss!" "Yes, Annie?" "Last year my Dad broke his arm and had to go to hospital!" Annie proudly says. "Very good, Annie. Now... how about the word 'medicine'?" asks the teacher. Annie is the only one to put up her hand. "Miss! Oh, Miss!" she squeaks. Teacher sighs. "Yes, Annie?" "When my Dad went to hospital, the nurse gave him lots of medicine for his pain." Annie says. "Yes, that's a good use of the word," says the teacher. "Last one, and this one is a bit harder. Can anyone use the word 'contagious' in a sentence?" The room is absolutely still except for Annie tentatively raising her hand again. "Anyone else?" asks the teacher. At the back of the room, rocked back on his chair and picking his nose, Little Johnny says "I know one, Miss." The teacher is surprised and pleased that Little Johnny is taking an interest. "Yes, Johnny?" she asks. Little Johnny says.... "When my Dad and me were out in the car the other day, a truck carrying oranges had lost its load, and my Dad said 'It's going to take some poor contagious to pick those buggers up!'"

A guy was driving down a motorway in England with his blonde girlfriend and she piped up,"I think those people in the car next to us are from Wales". "Why do you think that ?" he said."Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says"stit ruoy su wohs".

And that children is how The Addict got his name.

Phone Etiquette After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, a woman sitting next to him pulled out her mobile phone. She started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train". "Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting. No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life. Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!" Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly. When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, "Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed." Sue doesn't use her mobile phone in public any longer.

The other 3 in 4 bought those DVD's.

No without some modifications but it can be done.

Join the two wires to the thermostat to bypass it and the fan should run.

Looks like the coolant drive lock pin. Part 67 on page 3 on the parts diagram. http://www.trialsport.com.au/beta/Parts/Rev3%20250_270%202004.pdf

Some nurses just drive me MAD ! ! ! ! ! Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "and how are we doing this morning?" Or.... "are we ready for a bath?" Or... "are we hungry?" I had had enough of this particular nurse. Anyway ( Get to the point will ya ! ! ) Yesterday morning at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bedside stand. Later I was given a urine sample bottle to fill for testing. So you know where the juice went! The nurse came in a while later, picked up the urine sample bottle, looked at it and said, “My, my, it seems we are a little cloudy today.”At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top and gulped it down, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time!" The nurse fainted. . . . . . . I just smiled!

Bloke goes to the doctor with a sore arm. Doctor takes a quick look and says "Tennis elbow." Incensed with the very quick diagnosis, the bloke says "You can't tell me it's tennis elbow by just looking at it!" The doctor sighs. "Ok then, give me a urine sample and we'll run it through the new computer." So the bloke brings back the little cup, the doctor puts a few drops into the machine, and after a bit of humming a report is printed. The doctor reads it and shows it to the bloke: "Tennis Elbow." The bloke is even more annoyed now and decides to fool the machine. He goes home and gathers a few fluids in order to confuse the computer. Firstly he gets his daughter to provide a urine sample, then his son, he goes to the garage and adds some oil from his car, then to top it off he gives himself some manual relief and adds the result to the mix. Next day he goes back to the doctor and says he's still really worried about his arm and could the computer check again. The doctor sighs but hands him a sample pot and sends him to the toilet. Chuckling to himself, the bloke gets out the fluids he collected, adds them to the pot and takes them back to the doctor. Doctor puts a few drops into the machine. The computer hums along for much longer this time, with the occasional click and whir. The bloke thinks "Yes! I've broken the smart-ass!" Just as he's about to leave in triumph, the computer beeps and starts printing out the report. The doctor reads it then solemnly hands it to the bloke: "Diagnosis: - Your daughter is pregnant. - Your son is smoking pot. - Your car is overdue for a service. - And if you don't stop ****ing, your tennis elbow will never get better!!"

A young man went to the doctor with an embarrassing problem. He explained to the doc, "I feel fine but, my thingy has turned yellow!" The doc asked, "It's your first visit here so let's take down a few details. What do you do for a living?" He replied, "Well, I was recently laid off, so I'm unemployed at the moment". The doc asked, "Well, what do you do with your time?" He responded, "Not a lot to be honest. I watch internet porn and eat Twisties!"

An Air Force Captain was about to commence morning briefings to his staff. Whilst waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the Captain decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He therefore posed the question of just how much sex was "hard work and how much of it was ultimate pleasure". A Wing Commander piped up & stated that 75-25% in favour of Hard Work. A Squadron Leader said it was 50-50%. A Flight Lieutenant responded by saying that it was 25-75% in favour of Ultimate Pleasure. There being no consensus the Captain turned to the young Corporal who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for his opinion on the subject. Without hesitation the young Corporal responded: "Sir, it has to be 100% Ultimate Pleasure". The Captain was surprised at the Corporals response and asked him to elaborate on his answer. The Corporal then replied: "Well Sir, if there was any hard work involved, the Officers would have me doing it for them".

A guy, who was not feeling at all well, went to the hospital to have tests done. Two days later, he received a call to get to the hospital as fast as he could and NOT to have contact with anyone. Upon arrival, he was ushered to a room where everyone was in HAZMAT suits...... The lead doctor said, "Sir.....I am sorry to inform you that your tests came back and you are positive for HEADS." The guy says, "Huh? What the hell is HEADS? The doc says, "Well, Sir....it is a mutated virus that combines Herpes, Ebola, AIDS, Diphtheria and Syphilis..." "Oh, Dear God!" the guy replies, "What can you do?" The doctor says, "Just stay calm....the first thing we are going to do is get you a room all to yourself. Then, we are going to start you off with a diet of pancakes and pizza....." The guy says, "Wait! What? Pancakes and pizza? Will that help cure me?" "Well,.....no." says the doctor, "But, it's the only things we can think of which we can slip under the bloody door...."

The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub. A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle. A tipsy looking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing. 'Fishing,' the old man said simply. 'Poor old fool,' the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub. As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, the gentleman asked, 'And how many have you caught?' ‘You're the eighth,' the old man answered.

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the postman wants to buy Mum.

Garage Door. The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question. As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.' He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?' She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tyres. Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement home were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'' Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'' Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.' A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old friend: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 'I don't know.' 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 'Because she can still drive!' Three old guys are out walking.First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer' A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbour. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.' Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful. ''The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.' A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex The wife's back on the warpath again. . . Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part. My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I really should have taken them off. I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it. After both suffering from depression for quite some time, the wife and I were going to commit suicide together yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a whole lot better. So I thought, sod it, I'll soldier on! I woke up this morning at Eight, and just felt that something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! As you can imagine, I totally panicked. I didn't know what to do.. . . . . .Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until 10:30 AM.

Excellent video.

An incredibly rare documentary by David Attenborough on trials riding evolution and its development from enduro and dirt riding styles. This is definitive proof that trials riders rule and enduro riders and dirt bikes suck in a major way - unless they happen to get into cross training which applies trials techniques to dirt bikes. :-)

That would be just a 1.

Feeling a bit sick? I wonder what her specialty is?

I have the parts diagrams for that model and many others on my website. http://www.trialsport.com.au/beta/Parts/Zero%2092.pdf http://www.trialsport.com.au/beta/documents.htm

The factory lanyard kill switch does come ready to plug in.