pa.

Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells. Fred's favorite rooster, Kenny, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed Kenny's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. To Fred's amazement, Kenny had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Fred was so proud of Kenny, he entered him in the County Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded Kenny the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. Clearly Kenny was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention. Vote carefully in the next election, you can't always hear the bells.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening.." The wife suggested I inquire about a penis enlarger, so I did. Her names Cindy and she's 26 years old. I found out my wife is having an affair so I have turned to religion to get me through this difficult time, Islam in fact, they are coming around in the morning to do the stoning.

The disc is smaller on the Evo so it would need replacing or machining down if possible. The spaces would need to be altered. My spare wheel started life on a Techno and been changed a couple of times now.

This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of Coopers beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat of the ute and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump. She glanced at the two boxes of bevvy, bent over and leaned in my passenger window, her bra-less boobs nigh on falling out of her skimpy top, she said,. . . in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter old fella,. . . . . . Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?" I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of beer 'ya got?"

Here is a link to the parts diagram for your bike. http://www.trialspor...no 250 1997.pdf

Wheels are different to Rev3 and Techno but you can usually machine them to fit. You will also need a new disc as they are smaller on the Evo.

Trying to contain the monster?

Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in back. Herb says to Sam:" Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Good prices too." Sam says, "Well, we like to eat out too. What was the name of the restaurant?" Herb says: "You'll going to have to help me out here a little. What's the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, grows on a thorny bush?" Sam says, "How about rose?" "Yes, yes, that's it!" cries Herb, then calls ahead to his wife. "Rose. Hey, Rose. What was the name of the restaurant we ate at last night?"

A lawyer, who specialized in suing Doctors, dies and by some error in handling ends up going to heaven. He`s stopped at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter who says, 'Sorry, but we don`t accept medical lawyers into Heaven.' ‘Why not?' 'Well, we just don`t.' The lawyer complains and carries on until St. Peter gets fed up. 'Well', says St. Peter, 'have you ever done anything good in your life?' 'Ummm', the lawyer replies, 'Yes, the other day a lady stopped me on the street collecting for a children`s charity so I gave her ten dollars. Last week I donated ten dollars to the Cancer Society and a couple of weeks ago a tramp asked me if I could spare any money so I gave him ten dollars also.' 'Alrighty then', says St. Peter, 'wait here and I'll have a quick word with God.' Five minutes later St. Peter returns to the lawyer. 'Listen, I`ve spoken with God and he agrees with me, here`s your 30 dollars back ...... now f*** off!'

This could stop the rim coming off whatever the tyre presure is. http://nuetech.com/

Minimum weights for World round bikes will have very little affect on the bikes that we ride. The manufactures will always try to build the lightest possible bike and then add weight were the rider wants it. This is the same in Formula 1 were all the cars (even Marussia) are underweight and are then weighted to balance the car and bring the car upto regulations. i would not expect to many local clubs would want to start weighing bikes at events so the manufacturers will still have no problems selling under weight bikes to you and me.

From the Owners manual. http://www.trialspor...a/documents.htm Page 72 for the 2011 Evo. ADJUSTMENT OF REAR SHOCK ABSORBER Adjustment of spring Ioad •For a more active “quicker” suspension setting, open compression regulation knob A •For a more controlled “slower” suspension setting, close compression regulation A

Thursday night I gradually woke up stiff as a plank in hospital's ICU, tubes up my nose & down my throat, wires monitoring every function & all around my head, hell of a pain over my left ear, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over me. It was obvious I'd been in a serious accident. She looked deep & steady and I heard her slowly say, 'You may not feel anything from the waist down.' I managed to mumble in reply, 'Can I feel your tits, then?'

Try disconnecting the battery then reconnect it at 12:00. I have to do this to set the clock in my wife's car.

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter 'What are you doing?' She asked. 'Hunting Flies' He responded. 'Oh. ! Killing any?' She asked. 'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied. Intrigued, she asked. 'How can you tell them apart?' He responded, '3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.'

Since my wife left, I started drinking heavily, bought a motorbike and shagged two women. Jeez she's going to be p****d off when she gets home from work.

For those wanting to see it who are not trapped in the UK you can watch it here. http://www.finalgear.com/shows/topgear/20/2/

Ferrari Bowling

You can download a 2006 version from my website. http://www.trialsport.com.au/beta/documents.htm

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family." No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again, all was quiet. Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets." The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.

That car was hot.

I farted on the bus and four people turned around, I felt like I was on the voice.

07 and 08 will not fit.