Jump to content

steveo

Members
  • Posts

    762
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by steveo
 
 
  1. A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut." The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that:- Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and the re's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair." That is right son, but did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?"
  2. Headstone of Russell J. Larsen in the Logan City Cemetery, Logan, Utah! I wonder if he died knowing he won the 'Coolest Headstone' contest? His five rules for a happy life are at the bottom. FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE: 1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.
  3. A WOMAN ALLWAYS HAS TO HAVE THE LAST WORD ???? On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for. The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip of his shoulder, warned, "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoon full and then say '1-2-3' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want." The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon." He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes and then she asked "What was the 1-2-3 for?" And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
  4. Prince Charles was driving around his mother's estate when he accidentally ran over her favourite dog, a Corgi, crushing it to a pulp. He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass totally distraught. The whole world was against him and now his mother would go ballistic. Suddenly he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, polished it and immediately a Genie appeared. "You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment, " said the Genie. "As a reward I shall grant you one wish." "Well, " said the Prince, "I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog." They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog. "Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?" the Prince asked. The Genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head. "This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Is there something else you would like?" The Prince thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. " I was married to this beautiful woman called Diana," said Prince Charles, showing the genie the first photo. "But now I love this woman called Camilla," and he showed the genie the second photo. "You see Camilla isn't beautiful at all, so do you think you can make Camilla as beautiful as Diana?" The Genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said, "Let's have another look at the dog.
  5. Looks a nice clean, bike, put on another 20kg should help slow her down....
  6. steveo

    Frame Damage

    dadof2 will have an answer, you will probably need a heavier bike JR
  7. An 80 year old Irishman goes to the doctor for a check up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,' how do you stay in such great physical condition?' I'm Irish and I am a golfer,' says the old guy, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a mug of Guinness, and all is well.' 'Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?' 'Who said my Father's dead?' The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Father's still alive. How old is he?' 'He's 100 years old,' says the Old Irish golfer. 'In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little Guinness and that's why he's still alive. He's Irish and he's a golfer, too.' 'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?' 'Who said my Grandfather is dead?' Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather is still living! Incredible, how old is he?' 'He's 118 years old,' says the Old Irish golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?' 'No, Gramps couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.' At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married!! Why would a 118 year old guy want to get married?' 'Who said he wanted to?'
  8. As You Mature, It's The Little Things That Don't Seem To Matter As Much As They used To! This chick looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?" I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out." Seems like my six pack has evovlved into a keg. I mean, when you are over sixty, who gives a ****? I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you." When you are over sixty, who gives a ****? I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. "Really" she said, "Go on then...try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?" I said, "Yesterday." When you are over sixty, who gives a ****? I got caught taking a p*** in the local swimming pool today. The lifeguard yelled at me so loud, I nearly fell in. When you are over sixty, who gives a ****? I went to the pub last night and saw an obese chick dancing on a table. I said, "Great legs." She giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so?" I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now." Honestly, when you are over sixty, who really gives a ****?
  9. steveo

    Power Output

    around 19 to 22 hp on the first couple of 280i, depending on the map used
  10. Lets see what this will bring, just a turn around from the downward spiral that our sport has been heading would be a good start.
  11. That is painful to watch, little wonder there is such division between stop and no stop when you reflect back on clips like that.
  12. Andrew the stockman from a huge cattle station in the Australian outback appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the drover offered. "On a trip to the back blocks of Broken Hill out in New South Wales , I came across a gang of bikers who were threatening a young sheila. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed bikie and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the **** out of the lot of ya!" St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?" "A couple of minutes ago."
  13. I whole heartedly agree that our sport has been spiralling towards self destruction, but it has little to do with light weight bikes and more to do with heavy weight stubbornness from regulators that are NOT listening. Minders are not the problem and the outside assistance seems to be in the form of pertinacious observers that ignore the rules, unfortunately.
  14. how you can say that was well ridden shows your total lack of comprehension of what the final scores of any trial should reflect. Tony may be given some lenience in a world round in UK but to expect him to come over and enter the SSDT and compete against Dougie in an event observed by Brits is never going to happen.
  15. Good to hear a bit of truth from 2 reliable sources. Sadly, officialdom are digging their own grave for the top class level of the sport if consultation with ALL involved is not forth coming, and quickly.
  16. never thought about it that much, either is better than no dab and ending up with a head dab
  17. steveo

    5 Or 3 ?

    That really is it in nutshell, Very best reply by far mickwren
  18. steveo

    5 Or 3 ?

    Everyone is a ware of what was scored for this attempt, and you are right, makes little difference if we hark on about it. Don't make it right tho, everyone has a mishap, why keep going on about being consistent to all riders , a 5 is a 5, clip it and stop cheating the deserved clean riders. I bet he was even surprised and grateful, it is his good fortune to have saved 2 big marks at the end he rides.
  19. steveo

    5 Or 3 ?

    Don't see it that way Mark, before I became aware of who the rider was, I thought clearly It was a failure.I have looked at that clip time and again and there is no way I could give a 3. Everyone, top lads or plodders, the rule is clear, stop is a five there is no clause for a bounce back with a struggling effort to regain forward motion that over rides that, nor is the 3 count any help to the clean rider where his effort should have earned him a break.
  20. There you go again, jumping to conclusions, I never met Albert, I'm not that old.
  21. Give it a rest man, dadof2 and sense are not a combination that springs to mind on this topic...
  22. steveo

    2011/ 12 Ossa

    The 2013 is the model with rear suspension problem. They fitted steel pivot pins instead of alloy as in the previous 2011 and 2012. They have gone back to the alloy on the 2014 model. They can be changed but will need to be pressed out. I lay my bike over regularly since becoming aware of this and saturated with spray on lub leaving the bike laying overnight to ensure penetration.
  23. What was the reason for the leak, how did you fix it.
  24. I know of no electronic or EFI failures with the Ossa. The biggest problem seems to be self inflicted. That is to say owners tend to try manually adjust the idle and in doing so confuses the TPS settings.
 
×
  • Create New...