slapshot 3

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About slapshot 3

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 11/22/1966

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  • Bike
    250 Beta
  • Club
    Bon Accord, Stevenston & Dalmellington

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  • Location
    Stonehaven, Aberdeenshire
  • Gender
  1. CHURCH NOTICES.. The Fasting and Prayer Conference will include meals --------------------------------------------- Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled, proceeds will be used to cripple children ----------------------------------------------- This mornings sermon will be titled "Jesus walks on water"; This evening it will be "Searching for Jesus" -------------------------------------- Ladies don't forget the upcoming rummage sale, its a chance to get rid of all those things not worth keeping.. Bring your husbands, ----------------------------------- Don;t let worry kill you off, let the church help --------------------------------------------- Ms Charlene Masson sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation ------------------------------------ For those of you who have children and don't know it, there is a nursery downstairs ----------------------------------- Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the Choir, they need all the help they can get ---------------------------------- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church, so ends a friendship that began in their schooldays --------------------------------- A Bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening on the church hall, Music will follow ----------------------------- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell"?; come early and listen to the choir ------------------------------ Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones --------------------------------- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want to remember ---------------------------------- The church will host and evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility --------------------------------- Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5pm, prayer and medication to follow ---------------------------------- the ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind, they may be seen in the basement on Friday Afternoon --------------------------------- this evening at 7pm there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the church, Bring a blanket and be prepared to sin ----------------------------- The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet at 7pm, please use the back door --------------------------------------- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeares hamlet in the church basement on Friay at 7pm, the congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. -------------------------------------------- Weight watchers will meet at 7pm at the first presbytarian Church, please use the large double doors at the side entrance
  2. Hillary Clinton decided to send Donald Trump a letter to let him know how she felt about him. Trump opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line coded message; 370HSSV 0773H Trump was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Vanessa Trump and his children. Vanessa Trump and the children had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI, CIA or NASA. They eventually asked Britain's MI6 for help. Within minutes, MI6 cabled this reply: "Tell Mr Trump that he is holding the message upside down."
  3. You need to read this, I'm not sure if it's legit or if Justin is moving into journalism.... some of the rest of it is just as funny. You must visit the Lady Garden..... and read about her crack :chairfall: :chairfall:
  4. Glen, I'll message them one I get a programme on Friday
  5. Gary wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him: “What would you do if you realized that 2 trains were heading for each other on the same track?” Gary says, “I would switch the points for one of the trains.” “What if the lever broke?” asked the inspector. “Then I’d dash down out of the signal box,” said Gary, “and I’d use the manual lever over there.” “What if that had been struck by lightning?” “Then,” Gary continues, “I’d run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box.” “What if the phone was engaged?” “Well in that case,” persevered Gary, “I’d rush down out of the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there.” “What if that was vandalized?” “Oh well then I’d run into town and get my uncle Bill.” This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, “Why would you do that?” Came the answer, “Because he’s never seen a train crash before.”
  6. The charitable organization, United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city’s most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, “Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don’t give a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?” The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, “First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?” Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, “Uh… . . no, I didn’t know that.” “Secondly”, says the lawyer, “did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?” The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again. “Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister’s husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?” The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, “I’m so sorry, I had no idea”. And the lawyer says, “So . . . if I didn’t give any money to them, what makes you think I’d give any to you”.
  7. The Addict has been a superstar in keeping "Kenny" tripping along nicely...... Kenny is a legend PS Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies. "Occupation? "Nein, I am chust here for a few days."
  8. The Scottish is a huge part of the heritage of our sport, disrepsect it or the Scott then you disrespect this sport and it's very very rich history. The SSDT is loved and revered in every part of the world, you only need to look at the locations riders come from every year Japan, Australia, Canada, the US, South Africa, Europe, even a man who hand built a bike and drove from East Germany to compete before the wall came down, it is and always will be the Greatest Trial of them all. HRC exist to win world championships and until the SSDT went back to no stop it was as important to the manufacturers as WTC look at the list of World Champions who have won the even, Michaud, Tarres, Schrieber, Gorgot, Burgat and nearly all the Lampkins. HRC put a lot into Steve and Eddy's attempts, it just didn't work for them. Whatever else people think and don't forget you are entitled to your opinions, until Toni Bou has a couple of Scott's and a couple of SSDT's under his belt, he'll never be the greatest of them all in my book.
  9. Supposed to be night shift but I'll see what I can do
  10. Ross, I'll try and get down, take some pics and get a report on here, SACU website etc etc, can't promise as yet but see what happens Cheers Donald
  11. A few years ago I was asked to write piece for the pre-65 programme, I referred in that article to my childhood and mentioned my Martin Lampkin Scrapbook. It's safe to say that he was and always will be my trials hero and tonight I feel a wee bit of my childhood has gone. I send my deepest condolences to the Lampkin family tonight. Rest in Peace Martin
  12. Been doing that for years.... every time I press the shutter button some folk fall off!
  13. Cant say much else, decent bloke who ever had a bad word to say about anyone, the trials world lost a good friend today rest in peace Mick
  14. Munch ....... rest in peace mate
  15. the days before IKEA!!!