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Phew, I thought it was just deja vous or that unaccountable loss of time I get when I change from Woodpecker to Strongbow Thread retrieval: I decided to go to the local mosque today to check out this religion thing; I calmly took a seat and the Imam came to me, placed his hands on my shoulders and wailed: "By the will of Allah the All Mighty, and the Prophet Muhammad you will walk today." I told him that I was fully fit and not suffering from any disability? He returned to me and placed his hands on my head saying: "By the will of Allah the All Mighty, and the Prophet Muhammad you will walk today." Again I told him that I was healthy and without any paralysis so I walked out and found that my effin' car had been nicked.

Been on the razz all weekend in Edinburgh for a pals 40th...still sozzled. Worra w4nk4, doh!

Here's one for Mr. Finn: (Cockney joke, accent required) What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison? Y' can't wash yer 'ands in a bison.

Two chubby teenagers go to the local chip shop which is under new management. Behind the counter is a stunningly sexy-looking playboy model dressed in a risque basque with stockings and suspenders. The boys look at the new menu and can't believe their eyes: Cod and chips £1.99 Burger and chips £1.89 Pie and chips £1.79 Sausage and chips £1.69 W4nk £1.00 One of the excited boys says shyly; 'Miss, are you the one that does the w4nks?' The model whispers seductively; 'Yesss' The boy replies; 'Could you wash your hands and get me a pie please?'

An Englishman,Irishman and a Welshman were walking down a country-lane one day when they saw a sheep with its head caught in a hedge. The Englishman looked at the sheep's backside and said saucily ; ''Ooh, I wish that was Kim Kardashian''. The Irishman joined in and said; ''Ooh, I wish that was Katy Perry''. The Welshman added; ''I wish it was dark''.

Back on topic: Two turnips fall madly in love with each other and get engaged to be married. The big day comes and they have the most fabulous day supported by their family and friends. They settle down in their first home together, a small, picturesque, cottage with a little garden. The only thing missing from their blissful lives was the blessing of a small baby turnip; until one day, in the garden a tiny turnip emerged. The three of them were so happy. Unfortunately, just when baby turnip was learning to roll, he accidently rolled out of the garden into the main road and was squashed under the wheel of a cement truck. After ten hours of emergency surgery the distraught Mr. and Mrs. turnip were met by the theatre doctor, they anxiously asked whether baby turnip would live? The surgeon replied: ''This is not easy to say but; yes he will but he'll be a vegetable for the rest of his life''.

Sorry old boy.....I might have Kenny OCD or some other anxiety order. I mean, everybody, yes everybody checks (four times; even numbers are good but odd ones are evil) that they haven't left the porn in the video before they go to work ....don't they?

THE WINNER of the' shortest time between repeated jokes' title goes to.....

Could you please add your joke posts to our main jokes topic 'Kenny the rooster'?

Further to 'a trials bike is more than a commodity' here's an analogy that I've been sitting on since someone mentioned JH-J. I do think that a trials bike is a unique oddity in the motoring world and does not lend itself,easily, to the number crunching rules and regulations of mass production. A bit like..... http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/motoring/haha-haha-ha-harveyjones-1602523.html

If you think you can compare a competition trials-bike product customer to an bourgeois,over-hyped Apple electronics product customer then you're quite the super smooth salesman? Trials bike owners don't fall for style over substance. My experience in Chinese/indian mechanical-engineering mirrors the Xispa experience; I.E. If you want to get an anywhere near decent product from the lowest tendered bid then you have to have the whole process project managed by your own employees, in person, from day one (with all the extra costs involved) unless you want a seriously sub-standard component. You really have to 'stand-over' them (Chinese) 24/7 to get any worthwhile output. It's only worth it when we deal with economies of scale on an Ipad/pod/ped level. A trials bike is not some 5 pence transistor and motherboard, your glib comparison is not valid.

Dan, Are you aware that a company called Xispa have already gone down that road and it was a cul-de-sac?

Really? You'd get barred from a trial if you tried to spray that on in the car-park

Wow , we've all got our political/economist/historian/financial/management opinions going here....which is great ....but haven't GG dodged a bullet a few years ago when they re-jigged their finances and promised their debtors they'd 'streamline' the 'business-model'? (Sorry for the inverted commas but I feel nauseous using city-trader speak ). Some companies don't do well with their second bite at the cherry. If we're speculating, which we all are; how will the Greek elections tomorrow affect GasGas? Answers must be les than 1000 words...and show working out for full marks.

As far as I can tell, the power delivery for a 2 stroke trials bike is fairly unique when compared to other 2 stroke vehicles. Low down, evenly spread torque is the primary requirement; mainly aquired by exhaust design. No bulbous MX style expansion chambers for us, thank you very much.

I have exactly the same dilemma...I know ignorance is no defence in law but my 20kg bike rack and 70kg Sherco seem to be well supported by my weedy (50kg limit) tow bar???

That looks exactly like my 98 used to

Bingo

Over a 6 year thread bump then nearly a 3...that's got to be a record

Thanks for sharing...did anyone else see the sumps touch down?

Wow, thanks for sharing, well done that man bring him a sedagive!

Stop playing tennis.....It's bad for your trials riding. Really though; try kneading (dig in your thumb) the tendon on the outerside of your elbow, gently but often...and try and use 'more legs' when you're riding, if you know what I mean? Sorry, Happy New Year to you too

Yeah, but how many shades?

I can't beleive you beat me to it, one of those times where someone types exactly what I was thinking.