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slapshot 3

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Everything posted by slapshot 3

  1. Sweet sound of a great sorrow lies over the land........ Sad day indeed
  2. Where's these hill's then? Well done HL
  3. Come on then...How did it go???
  4. Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting over lunch and conversation turns to their relationships. They decided that night to surprise their men. All three would wear a black leather bra and thong, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. A few days later they meet up for lunch. The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over He found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long. The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather outfit, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex for hours. The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. He walked in the door, looked at me and said, 'What's for dinner, Batman?'
  5. Fantastic news Mark, really pleased to hear that
  6. Yeah, get the entries in boys...my other club's round was binned don't let it happen again. Craiglash is a brilliant piece of ground
  7. Remember the place, good place to play unfortunately the scumbags win again, shame that.
  8. Perv..............
  9. slapshot 3 replied to kinell's topic in Anything goes
    It's barely dawn and the telephone rings: 'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.' 'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?' 'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead' 'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition? ' 'Si, Senor, that's the one.' 'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?' 'From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.' 'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?' 'Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.' 'Dead horse? What dead horse?' 'The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.' 'My prize thoroughbred is dead?' 'Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.' 'Are you insane?? What water cart?' 'The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.' 'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man?' 'The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.' 'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?' 'Yes, Senor Rod.' 'But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?' 'For the funeral, Senor Rod.' 'WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?' 'Your wife's, Senor Rod'; she showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Taylor Made Super Quad 460 golf club.' SILENCE .. .. . . . . . .. . . ... LONG SILENCE . . . . .. ... .. . . . 'Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep sh1 t!'
  10. slapshot 3 replied to ham2's topic in Anything goes
    full tank of Petrol....
  11. Gents all posts in this thread relating to the SACU/AMCA issue that "The David Baker" continues to bring up have been deleted along with any posts relating the "discussion". Please keep on topic without resorting to offensive posts. Forum Mod
  12. That's a hell of a chat up line.....
  13. now that's funny.... Mrs Slapshot was looking over my shoulder I knew what she was thinking
  14. ah well....so much for the great Italian lovers.....flat, 3 inch wide d**ks...shame
  15. Come on guys keep this on topic....... Image 11 - the back pocket, perfect place for a lens cap
  16. Ruddy eyeties.....do anything to beat the Hawkestone honies Eh signiori, ees dat a 200mm lens in da pocket or are you justa plesed to see us (selection of glossy 8x10's mate.... )
  17. ...Anymore of this stuff I'll be bigger than Slapshot... My my Andy... how you've "grown" since May
  18. Have to pick and choose my weekends off mate, don't get that many. Coming down to Thornhill next weekend (Sunday), only bringing camera's though, see if I can't drag that miserable old scrote of a father with me. I assume you'll be racing, was going to try and get a couple of piccy's of Hughie but don't know if the camera has a SLOW enough shutter speed
  19. Any excuse Fulton....... Was a cracking run...mind you I only managed the Saturday and ended up with a cracked Scaphoid...and I was only observing!!! Amazing piece of ground the Inverness club have there, the number of sections you could have are endless. Balance of the sections I saw was just about spot on.
  20. A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. 'What are you doing?' she asked. 'I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work,' the daughter-in-law answered. 'But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed. 'T his is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained. 'Love dress? But you're naked!' 'Mike loves me to wear this dress,' she explained. 'It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me.' The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, and dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home.. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively. 'What are you doing?' he asked. 'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually. 'Needs ironing,' he said. 'What's for dinner?!?!?'
  21. I'm with the boss on this one, the number of wrong posts made on this forum outnumbers any other.
  22. leave me alone....had a bad weekend....didn't notice the quotes .
  23. You could probably sit and argue all night about what was the FIRST trial. SSDT 1909 is in the books however before that happened there had to be individuals who gathered to ride their bike together before that. Initially trials scoring was predominantly based on machine reliability, broken bits would cost marks etc plus what TFT says above. Early 50's the STAR scoring systems came in where the marks system was clean, 1 (single dab), 3 (paddle) and the 5 (failure) first used in the Scottish in 1953 (I think). The 2 came in in the mid to late 70's but don't ask me exactly when. ERRRRRR no he wasn't, WTC established in 1975 prior to that it was a European Championship.....first World Champion a certain H M Lampkin. I would hazard a guess that trials established itself on the continent after WW2, lots of Soldiers stationed in Germany and the like, spreading the word.... Prof...Your turn
  24. slapshot 3 replied to brian r's topic in USA Trials
    Is Tullahoma in Texas??????? Can't see our Mr Cope as a town Mayor...more in the Homer Simpson mode...doh!!

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