June 16, 201313 yr The Lost Boy A little boy was found crying in a supermarket. When asked what was wrong, he told the security guard that he had lost his mum. “Well kid, ...what does she look like?” asked the security guard. “Sorry ....I don’t know ...I have NO idea,” sobbed the kid. A moment later his mother came down the aisle........ . . Edited June 16, 201313 yr by b40rt
June 17, 201313 yr Little Dennis came home from his Lockridge school one day slightly confused. His Mother was Jewish and his father was a aboriginal So Dennis asks,"Mommy, am I more Jewish or more native?" "What does it really matter? If you want to know for sure you'll just have to ask your father," his mother tells him. So, when his father arrived home, Little Dennis asks the same question, "Daddy, am I more Jewish or more native?" "What the hell kind of a question is that? Why do you want to know if you're more Jewish or more native?" asks his dad. "Well, it's like this dad. Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for $50, and I don't know whether to jew him down to $25, or wait until it's dark and steal the ******* thing."
June 21, 201313 yr An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family." No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again, all was quiet. Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets." The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.
June 25, 201313 yr Piff the magic dragon! http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=kk5xfK0ovrk
June 26, 201313 yr Frankie Boyle at his best >>>>>>>>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=x3-aWvlm9Io&feature=endscreen
June 30, 201313 yr I do not allways listen to Cuntry music, but when I do, I am glad it is in Texas! Punchline from song I heard today: " I'd like to check you for Ticks! ". Man that is good stuff right there!
July 2, 201313 yr I do not allways listen to Cuntry music, but when I do, I am glad it is in Texas! Punchline from song I heard today: " I'd like to check you for Ticks! ". Man that is good stuff right there! Heck Cope , That's just a pickup line here in SC. ....
July 7, 201313 yr The wife being the romantic sort, sent me a text...... "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you." ........ "I'm taking a poop. What should I do?"
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.