gizza5

Looky Here ?????????

Trust me I am no expert, but I am learning and asking all in the know having just aqured a digital SLR Dial on top with a big 'S' .....shutter priority ISO 400 or 800 Shutter speed 1/250 or above Speaking to EK at the weekend he reckons 1/500 Practice and more practice Slapshot passed on the initial info so thanks mate and thank god it is digital because I too am still binning loads

Text Message Babe, I've finally left that tosser Ashley and I'm on my way round to you big boy. Love you..Cheryl xx . . . . . Carlsberg don't do text messages,but if they did........

Oh and I can just imagine that at the Pre '65 too? Keeping it in realistic to match the event getting some grannies from the retirement home in Fort William they could use their Bus Pass to Kinlochleven and strut shuffle round in their ''Bloomers''

The observer with his scoring Gizmo looked the part, but I reckon the observers brief before the trial would be a 2 hour lesson?

A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the Counter and said 'Hi, I'm looking for a job'. The man behind the counter replied 'Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The Salary package is

+1 unfortunately it does sound like that have you got a tank you can swap with someone..............Not cheap if it is!!!!

1 Evan Allan 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 3 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 178 Hope this lad got the biggest round of applause, that is a tough day and well done for comleting the course?? Have entered some tough events myself and racked up the 5's and that was not an enjoyable experience!!!!

It was a slope

Yep Staggiedog is the man if he wants to get into trials as he is the Team Captain for the Army SSDT team. The REME have an Enduro Team and sponsored by Yamaha my lad who is also in the REME helps out with the enduro team, but has seen sense and bought a trials bike He is remeben on here so you could PM him for details Link to Team Reme here TEAM REME

I was driving with the wife this morning and she said to me "I think the people in the car alongside us are Russian or Latvian". "Why's that then?" I asked "because the kids in the back have written on the window ''stit ruoy su wohs"

An Irish priest was transferred to Ballina Catholic Church Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Ballina parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a Donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. Not knowing who else to call, he promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this: ''Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?" "And the best of the day ter yer good self. This is Father O'Malley at St. Francis Xavier Catholic Church. There's a Donkey lying dead right in der middle of me front lawn " Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!" There was dead silence on the line for a long moment and then Father O'Malley replied: . . . . . "Ah, 'to be sure, that is true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin. "

.....and will be posted of course on here and FB

Maybe thats what they need to hold them together

Just remembered? I used to put a cut out 'V' in the 2 overflow pipes from the carb !! This stopped the carb syphoning the fuel out of the float bowl, when the fuel reached the hole it seemed to stop? I would pass the message on to my lad, but he is still in bed and we are setting off to his first trial in 45 minutes, think he is papping it

Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, "Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made passionate love on his desk right then and there!" The engaged woman giggled and said, "That's pretty much my story! When my fianc

Has someone lost their bucket??

Day 2 he phones and says ''Bloody Hell Sandy is the RSM'' ''Yes'' ''No Dad you don't understand, Sandy is the RSM'' Smiled and hung up

Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side 'When I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my trousers,' he said. ' I gave them to your mother and told her to put them on ' When she did, they were enormous on her and she said to me that she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too large. I told her, 'of course they're too big. I wear the trousers in his family and I always will ' . ' Ever since that day, we have never had a single problem.' Jack took his father's advice and as soon as he got Jill alone after the wedding, he did the same thing; took off his trousers, gave them to Jill and told her to put them on. Jill said that ' the trousers were too big and she couldn't possibly wear them ' . 'Exactly,' replied Jack. 'I wear the trousers in this relationship and I always will. I don't want you to forget that.' Jill paused and removed her knickers and gave them to Jack. 'Try these on,'she said, so he tried them on but they were too small. 'I can't possibly get into your knickers,' said Jack. 'Exactly,' replied Jill. 'And if you don't change your f *** ing attitude, you never will.'

That's my boy Sympathy? I consider that as a compliment Pain in the A*se that's why I made him join the Army at 16 (not really), talk about bad luck while doing his training to become a soldier his Regimental Sergeant Major was Sandy Mack and he thought Sandy was a friend............

Biker gets pulled over by Plod. Plod says can you tell me why you were doing 140 down the middle of the road? Biker says it tells me I can do it on my licence! Where says plod? . . . . . At the bottom look Tear down dotted line.

2 am and a biker is heading home down the motorway. He's doin about 120mph cos it's empty, when sudenly a copper pops up on the hard shoulder holdin a speed gun. He slows down, lets the copper catch up and pulls over when he's told. The copper walks up to him and asks the usual stupid questions, and then says "What do you do for a living?" The biker reply's "I'm a Rectum stretcher, Officer" Copper looks at him and ask's "What the hell is a Rectum Stretcher?" Biker says "I travel the whole country, Helping to stretch Rectums as wide as we can. You start with one finger, then 2 until you got one hand in. Then you do the other hand, slowly. The copper looks horrified. "Once you got both hands in, you can start to stretch wider and wider till you get to about 6 foot across". "Jesus Christ!!" says the copper, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot 4rse hole?" . . . . Biker says "You get it to stand on the motorway at 2am."

Yorkshire jokes.............. Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet. Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat." Vet: "Is it a tom?" Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi me." A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by. Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?" Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?" Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!" Bloke from Barnsley with a sore ar*ehole asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell ar*e cream?" Chemist replies "Aye, magnum or cornetto?"