slapshot 3

Remember my old man "cleaning" a Wednesday evening club trial many moons ago, said it was the toughest win he ever had, next guy lost 1.

DRIVE THROUGH CASH MACHINE A new sign in the Bank lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through Cash machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.' ************ ********* ********* * MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. FEMALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Engage handbrake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell the person on you are talking to on your mobile phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty handbag, locate card-holder, and place card into the slot provided! 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook. 26. Re-check makeup 27. Redial person you were talking to on your mobile phone. 28. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 29. Release handbrake.

Yer a' funny, what do you lot think you are?? A bunch of Daily Mail readers?? Next Week. Saying nothing just now, no consistency in any of the models out to day 5 never mind beyond that, so I'll wait a bit.

In Scotland we tried to "Sell England by the Pound" but only got 50p for it ..... Trick of the tail and A Lamb Lies Down On Broadway on your i pod should keep you happy on the roads

So.....science & technology moves on and we've a clever new toy that is issuing information on the concentration of dust particles in the atmosphere - Oh how we chuckled this afternoon!! Max concentration over Europe now and forecast on the chemical downwind stuff is 1.85 x 10-17grams/m3or for those that dont understand scientific notation...0.0000000000000000185gm/m3...overkill..just a tad

Will you be back Iain? or will you still be hoping.......;-)

Saw it yesterday, I get the dailymash on email suppose it was inevitable!!

Loads of flight tests going on at the minute and a "suggestion" that the European Air Traffic authority and NATS may have been too cautious. All the test flights are coming back "clean", I suggest some of the main routes may open up in the next 24hours. In 5 days the volcano has only erupted less than 1% of the volume of debris that Mount St Helens erupted therefore concentrations of particles are not that much, 3 parts per million, St Helens was around 150ppm over north America. I suspect a lot of panic, none of the airlines want to fall foul of litigation but if some of the biggies are losing

You getting at me again missus...... She's right of course, it's the one week in the year that's all about the trial and the beer of course!

I thought all yank beer was like that..

No-one really wants to read about the politics that there is between the SACU and the AMCA however as we've already discussed the nonsense that went on with TheDavidBaker about a year ago means that when we see similar posts we're going to react, as are those involved at all levels in the sport. Believe me, it's not aimed at you directly. His attacks became personal and pretty nasty therefore we do what we can to keep that down, banter is one thing what went on was another, like I say we'll react to prevent anything of that, it's not what trialscentral is for. Unfortunately, this has left a very sour taste around when it comes to discussing any of the AMCA events held in the Angus area. When you made your initial posts I saw similarites and reacted, we've dealt with that. No one wants to stop anyone riding, using this website or discourage anyone riding or enjoying the sport, that's not what we do it for but there are a lot of politics, it's part and parcel of the sport whether you want it or not, it's the same in every sport. Ignore it and keep your head down if you want to avoid it otherwise you'll always find it hovering somewhere.

Beta sidestands are a little longer and thicker and hang at a better angle

Behave.......

link to the live volcano web cam if anyones interested.... day light only...obviously!! clicky

Yeeha 50 Pages...... Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk... a) Innovative Preliminary c) Proliferation d) Cinnamon Things that are very difficult to say when you're drunk... a) Specificity British Constitution c) Passive-aggressive disorder d) Transubstantiate Things that are absolutely impossible to say when you're drunk... a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you. Nope, no more booze for me. c) Sorry, but you're not really my type. d) No kebab for me, thank you. e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? f) I'm not interested in fighting you. g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing. h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool. i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street. j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning. -------------------------------------------------- A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when she comes across 3 dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she approaches them, bends down and starts to stroke one of them: "Ah, you're lovely, aren't you?" she says to the first dog. "What's your name?" To her surprise, the dog actually answers her, "My name's Huey, and I've had a great day going in and out of puddles." Delighted with this discovery, she moves on to the next dog. "And what's your name then?" Again, unbelievably, the 2nd dog answers her, "My name's Lewy, and I've had a great day going in and out of puddles." And so she moves on to the last dog. "Let me guess," she says. "your name's Dewy, and you've had a great day going in and out of puddles." "No," replies the last dog. "My name's Puddles, and I've had an awful day." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy three 10p coins to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realises the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up two of the 10p's, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last of the 10p's, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor ? "

....porno tasche and the trusty ten bob note to the fore...conjures up pictures we can only giggle at..

Great timing with the thread dbf, always need something at this time of year, one of them gentle reminders!!

Nothing that's distinguishable as volcanic certainly not from the Iceland volcano, should be really gritty and sharp particles pretty much like that below, from Mount St Helens eruption, same type of exlosive eruption rather than an effusive. Nice clear night here, looking forward to sunset

Piccy from earlier today - brownish streak is the ash cloud which follows the strongets Jetstream wind conveyer, the bigger problem is the ash that doesn't hit the jet but mixes at lower levels

or should that read if you are near Carlos...try and keep up with him!!

Has anyone ever heard of a government giving up weapons....unless they have something with more projectable power up it's sleeves. Lets be honest this reduction only reduces the number of times they can massacre us all, Mutually Assured Destruction still rings true today. Mind you all these reductions will make nuclear war winnable at some point

that'll be one less shandy in the Fort...

.....and it would make for an entertaining week in the Parc ferme

historical inaccuracies aside, Band Of Brothers is a million times better than anything else I've seen portraying WW2. I haven't seen any of Pacific yet but it'll be like every other major WW2 based production i've seen, working hard to reach the standards of Band of Brothers and failing miserably.

What Pete said, and the Beta is the best of them, completely neutral in handling, nice soft engine with plenty of poke if needed.