slapshot 3

DELL....Specialist - Contradiction in terms

You'll get the route a couple of weeks before the trial, some unscrupulous individuals have been known to cheat in the past....

NO CHANCE......... any way, I prefer the Dead Parrot Sketch or Mr Creosote. SO HAM2....... You have failed to topple the MIGHT of Kenny!!

Space for that in the cave???.....

Lampkins........Stator, wiring loom, CDI unit, coil............. you could have blown the lot!

Nah tastless, no finish, doesn't mellow on the palate, no distinctiveness...... NOW Bunnahabain 25yo sherried style, with the soft, creamy complexity and gentle, sophisticated palate and mouthfeel that Bunnahabain lovers treasure. Gorgeous presentation as well. ....and if you have the cojones...... The X4. "The Usquebaugh-baul" - The Perilous Whisky. A traveller to the Hebrides in 1695 wrote one of the first ever whisky tasting notes. The whisky was "Four times distilled. And by this the natives is called Usquebaugh-baul; two spoonfulls of this last liquor is a sufficient dose; and if any man exceed this, it would presently stop his breath and endanger his life." SUBLIMINAL... I haven't dared open it's big brother yet, the X4+3......63.5% by volume!! James May used x4 to fuel a sports car.......

Brilliant ride by Dibs, did what he had to in the end but really well done.

Duplicate thread - topic closed

Topic moved from Sherco forum......

... this the late night's training for May mate??

Tis sorted yes, wonderful bloke who is chairman of our club and just happens to own a major engineering company got it done for me....he's a wonderful bloke..!! decent capscrews in the now, 12.9 grade Unbrako's with copperslip...no more silly mistakes

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/envi...icle7009081.ece ........ more anyone??

It was a good day out, we even managed to drag the old boy off the couch for a few hours. Sections looked ideal, certainly nothing daft in there, if only you could say that about every trial.... The small pics don't do a huge justice, cd with all Hi Res images available,

A trainspotter friend was really depressed and suicidal but he didn't have the guts to top himself. So we were out for a walk one day and I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits. -------------------------------------- Our local Flasher was considering retirement, but after some thought he decided to stick it out for one more year. -------------------------------------- I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". She said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays". ---------------------------------------------- A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." --------------------------------------------------------- How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers. -------------------------------------------------------- Polar bear walks into a bar, says to the barman ' Can I have a Gin and.......... ...............tonic' Bar man says, 'no problem, but whats with the big pause?' To which the Polar bear looks at his hands and replies,' Dunno, i've always had them' ----------------------------------------------- A middle aged accountant calls his wife and says 'darling you know I love you but we're 54 years old now and I have needs that you just can't meet anymore. I know you'll understand this is why I'm going to be spending the weekend at the Ritz hotel with my 18 year old intern'. His wife replies, 'Of course I understand darling, and you know that as a 54 year old man you I have needs that you can't always satisfy in me, I'll be taking our gardeners 18 year old assistant to Claridges for the weekend

Davie....yir famous!! http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/8486571.stm

....or your fork pinch bolts..... 12.9 Grade hi tensile screws and bolts seem to be the thing for hi stress ares (thanks Wayne.. ) and are not staggeringly expensive either. UNBRAKO seems to be the brand to use, just got myself a pile of them. I'm maybe bucking the trend here but I do use these bearings. Got two boxes of ten from ebay last year for less than

Not a joke per se but funny enough for the hallowed "Kenny" Thread....... AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The even ing was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Alex

Just sent him an email.... hopefully he'll look in and help you out DoubleA

erm....Copey, does your wife know you're putting swimsuit shots of your daughter on here...

A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "No he didn't. He just walked in the door." --------------------------------------- Justin was today barred from B&Q shops in the south of England. As he entered the store in Portsmouth the man on the door greeted him by asking if he wanted decking. Luckily Justin got the first punch in. --------------------------------------------- Little Johnny is in class.and the teacher says "If you can give me a quote and tell me who said it, you can go home before the bell rings" Jonny puts his hand in the air but is beaten to it by mary, who says, "I have a dream - martin Luther King" "Well done Mary, you can go. Anyone else?" asks the teacher Jonny flings his hand in the air again but sheila is faster. She says: "If music be the food of love, play on - William Shakespeare" "Excellent" says the teacher, "Off you go" Once again, he's beaten by another girl who says: "Imagination is more important than intelligence - Albert Einstein" "Lovely Kate, get your coat" the teacher says. Jonny shoves both hands in the air and shouts, "I wish these bitches would shut the f**k up - Tiger Woods - see you tomorrow!" ------------------------------------------- I sh@gged a bird with that brittle-bone disease the other night........... She was a right little cracker................ ------------------------------------------ A business man is on a first vist to Japan, he sees the rows of asian ladies soldering the componants on to the circuit boards. Wanting to appear as a knowlegeable guy , he goes up to one worker and asks ''What do you use for flux?' The girl is quick to answer and flashing him a smile says '' Condoms

With deffrence to my learned friend Mr Bigfoot, (poor buggers stuck in Aberdeen Harbour on a boat waiting to go off into the North Sea and asked me to add these) Friends, trialsriders and Gizza, do we want to see these snack littering our shelves, nay we say. Is this really the taste of really the taste of paradise We MUST oppose the merger between the Kraft Corporations and Cadbury's at all costs.

no more Haiti ones yet.....but!! 2 women called at my door & asked me what bread I ate. I said,"white". They then lectured me on the benefits of brown bread for the next 30mins! Feckin Hovis Witnesses! ------------------------------- Doorbell rings, I answer it and the bloke says, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" "Feck!!" I said to the wife, "That's all we need, a Je-hoover's witness".

While agreeing and acknowledging my learned friend's Justin's comments I can't not add this one....... I can understand how the Haitians feel ......... following 30 Aftershocks i can't find my house either.

Funny...inevitable...but always funny

Gondola probably wasn't big enough....