slapshot 3

Sounds like a plan!! Happy New Year Everybody, hope you all have decent hangovers

Kenny the Rooster's rousing 2009 send off... Guy goes into MacDonalds and orders a big mac, fries and a drink. The assistant is a staggeringly beautiful young woman. She asks the customer if she can make it large for another 30p. He says: You already have made it large honey.... how much extra for a s***? ------------------------------------------------------------ A young policewoman was out in the cold weather gathering evidence and she wished she'd put her thermal underwear on. Her colleague advised her to let the police alsatian sniff her lady bits, and the highly trained dog would run off back to the station and fetch her warm panties. After an hour the dog came bounding back to the lady police officer with a truncheon and the desk sergeant.

Worse.... she has two sisters

er um ahh ..... no!!

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me - it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family." And the moral of this story is: Always Always Always keep your condoms in your car.

He's a clever boy that Mr Gizza, 09 would have been 100 years 2011 is the centenary

Feet wet at Christmas Gav....whit a bugger!! Bit boring in here as well, can't even sample that rather nice bottle Santa left me, just as well it's worth working Christmas!!

you'd have to be plastered to type that!!! Merry chrimbo punters

2 Cold Street North Pole, Canada H0H 0H0 I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year, and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all the gifts from "The Twelve Days of Christmas", but we've had some issues. The twelve fiddling fiddlers have all come down with the clap from fiddling with the ten ladies dancing. The eleven lords a leaping have knocked up the eight maids a milking, and the nine pipers playing, have been arrested for doing weird things to the seven swans a swimming. The six geese a laying, four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree, have me up to my butt in bird crap. On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, eight of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined Gay Liberation, and to top it all off the ****ing PC Brigade have re-scheduled Christmas for the 5th of February. Sincerely, Santa

.......and if it finishes with no more entries then a drop of forty on last year is not bad in the financial climate. That still leaves the trial oversubscribed... that's a good thing

nah, it was the Widgeon stuffing that did me in..

No we're having Goose for a change

anyway... Hypothetically this could have been an early test of a HAARPs based weapons system. It is thought that these array antenna's will work in a similar way to the laser clusters worked during the SDI stuff in the 80's and 90's, it's the same basic science. To hypothesise further you could suggest that some europeans have developed a system to disable a missile in flight using High Frequency/High Energy radio waves in a narrow focussed beam....... you may wish to hypothesise any of this, I couldn't comment......

I can barely remember last week never mind March!!

Lifted straight from a defence bulletin Jamie, new missile delivery vehicle test that went wrong. You saw my initial response right back at the start I didn't think possible either but......

You on the juice again matey??

Not at that price.....

We've just had to scrap my father-in-laws christmas pressie, It appears 18 Holes with Tiger, was nothing to do with Golf!! Oi.....what have I recycled???

If you can still find them ( ) the UEA emails have a thread buried in there about funding for the tree ring research and how the researchers are almost begging for the funds, they can't them because the research will verify much of the scepticism and that would never do now would it.

Okay initial comment was a bit glib, have to say getting pi$$ed with all the global warming nonsense just now, specially with Copenhagen on the go, forms 60% of the enquiries we get. The atmosphere is made up of all sorts but simply put water vapor, which contributes 36

Water Vapour, thats what controls the atmosphere not co2, co2 however is much easier to hype!!

Bloody hell.......Global Warming to Pulp Fiction via Bhuddists and vegans in 9 posts.....even for us lot that's pretty damn good!!!! I'll take AGW seriously when they start talking about THE most important greenhouse gas, till then, Skeptics rule