slapshot 3

I'll follow that up, ANY posts/topics which even vaguely look like ads will be deleted on sight! Forum Mod

found this on the wee camera...wife must have taken them the week before Christmas ....... must take some up to date ones..

he's been stuck in a snow drift on the banchory road....

SPUD!! where ya been hiding mate??

18 fahrenheit, that is cold mate, won't need ice in the cactus juice.... oh yes in real money 18f is -7.7

Happy new Year to you to mate ....only if you can tell me anything you know about the latest toys the Army are getting or the likely troop movements in Afghanistan for the next three weeks...... Official Secrets Act , don't ya just love it!! I would love to say what i think but not in a public forum.

Nah not YET...... In the real NORTH it's been like this for three weeks, now we have 33 cm or 12.99inches of snow in the back door sorry 34cm/13.39 inches it's still snowing I can't see the fence to the fields at the back........ sorry make that 35 cm or 13.78inches....... still amazes me the number of muppets that think pressing the brake pedal helps forward motion..... must have a hell of a lot of southerners up here

Question is, is Addict's ring of confidence stuck to the bog???? Can we change the cliche now, "Do addicts sh!t in the woods?"

Teacher asks the class of seven year olds who can come up with a sentence with the word fascinate. A little girl says she went to the zoo and was fascinated by the animals. The teacher thanks her and says its not quite the word she was looking for. A liitle boy says he finds science programmes on the tv fascinating. The teacher thanks him and says its not quite the word she's looking for. Little Ebenezer at the back of the class puts his hand up and says My sister has twelve buttons on her blouse but because she has enormous knockers she can only fasten eight.

Sounds like a plan!! Happy New Year Everybody, hope you all have decent hangovers

Kenny the Rooster's rousing 2009 send off... Guy goes into MacDonalds and orders a big mac, fries and a drink. The assistant is a staggeringly beautiful young woman. She asks the customer if she can make it large for another 30p. He says: You already have made it large honey.... how much extra for a s***? ------------------------------------------------------------ A young policewoman was out in the cold weather gathering evidence and she wished she'd put her thermal underwear on. Her colleague advised her to let the police alsatian sniff her lady bits, and the highly trained dog would run off back to the station and fetch her warm panties. After an hour the dog came bounding back to the lady police officer with a truncheon and the desk sergeant.

Worse.... she has two sisters

er um ahh ..... no!!

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me - it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family." And the moral of this story is: Always Always Always keep your condoms in your car.

He's a clever boy that Mr Gizza, 09 would have been 100 years 2011 is the centenary

Feet wet at Christmas Gav....whit a bugger!! Bit boring in here as well, can't even sample that rather nice bottle Santa left me, just as well it's worth working Christmas!!

you'd have to be plastered to type that!!! Merry chrimbo punters

2 Cold Street North Pole, Canada H0H 0H0 I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year, and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all the gifts from "The Twelve Days of Christmas", but we've had some issues. The twelve fiddling fiddlers have all come down with the clap from fiddling with the ten ladies dancing. The eleven lords a leaping have knocked up the eight maids a milking, and the nine pipers playing, have been arrested for doing weird things to the seven swans a swimming. The six geese a laying, four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree, have me up to my butt in bird crap. On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, eight of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined Gay Liberation, and to top it all off the ****ing PC Brigade have re-scheduled Christmas for the 5th of February. Sincerely, Santa

.......and if it finishes with no more entries then a drop of forty on last year is not bad in the financial climate. That still leaves the trial oversubscribed... that's a good thing

nah, it was the Widgeon stuffing that did me in..

No we're having Goose for a change

anyway... Hypothetically this could have been an early test of a HAARPs based weapons system. It is thought that these array antenna's will work in a similar way to the laser clusters worked during the SDI stuff in the 80's and 90's, it's the same basic science. To hypothesise further you could suggest that some europeans have developed a system to disable a missile in flight using High Frequency/High Energy radio waves in a narrow focussed beam....... you may wish to hypothesise any of this, I couldn't comment......

I can barely remember last week never mind March!!